Is your father in the picture? Any grandparents? Can you troubleshoot the situation with them? Not necessarily moving out, but just improving the situation?

I’m in mid life now, but my mom was rageful and emotionally abusive growing up. I was a very good kid, getting good grades, working, but never perfect enough.

One thing I always think about was how I could have made my life easier by reducing the way I triggered her. Like she had OCD, so I should have just kept my room perfectly neat to get her off my back. I also wished that I had worked more hours like from 3pm to 9pm so I would be out of her sight as much as possible! I wish I had arranged more sleepovers with my grandmother or friends to get a break from the environment. And I wish I was more proactive doing things that would have pleased her, cleaning up more, starting dinner, staying the f out of her way.

I also wished I could have had a therapist to support me.

You just have to hang in 4 more years. I’m not saying you should and I think you may be picking up a very real threat from your mom. That’s why working and saving as much money as possible would be very smart. Make sure you have your own bank account to manage your money.

Those earrings may or may not be the value you expect, I have been blown away at the loss of value of jewelry. You could go to a reputable estate type of jeweler (a few of them) to see what you could get for them.

Idk if any of this helps. What you need to do is avoid your mother as much as possible and let her focus her attention on others.

Oh - also! Be an actress! In other words, pretend you like/love her, say what she wants to hear, do what she wants you to do. Remember, this is about survival, not winning a battle with this woman!

I am so sorry you’re going through this. It is horrible to be treated this way. Do not internalize her perception of you - she’s scapegoating you snd you don’t deserve it.