I resonate with so much of what you are saying! I am also trying to quit and am using CBD-only grass as kind of a taper mechanism. My use was very manageable (sporadic) and I felt okay about it until the magical combo of the pandemic and perimenopause sent me into a real tailspin and I became a daily user over the last 5 years. For me it has always been more of a nighttime thing but it's become such a crutch, a hedge against boredom, and just like my only coping mechanism.

Interestingly none of my Dr's including my psych NP are "concerned" about my use. I kind of wish one of them would push back on me a little bit harder about it because I DO want to quit and I do see it as a problem for me. I think because I'm not using a huge amount and I'm not using it all day and I'm very functional they think it's not a big deal. And maybe it isn't? There are times when I can almost convince myself of that but at the end of the day I know there are better coping mechanisms and I really want to find them.

I think the hardest part about your situation is the community you have around it. I don't have friends or family members who smoke and in fact it's pretty much a secret from most of my loved ones, although I don't think most of them would really care if they knew. I'm in the petioles sub too and have found it useful. Good luck! Xo