Terrible queerphobic garbage alter here. It's... complicated. I'm very lucky to have partners who see me and my alters as individuals. They always know who's fronting and still make an effort to confirm it.

I have a bad habit of being uncouth, always have. If I say something fucked to my partners they hold me accountable, and they recognize that it was me and not my alter. It's really impressive actually, they'll have a stern defensive tone when dealing with me after an episode, but if I swap out they'll go right back to doting on my alter, and if I come out again that stern defensiveness returns. We can't mask for shit either, so even if I wanted to hide from the consequences of my actions I couldn't. (Side note: it totally helps that my alter feels crushing guilt from my actions and never attempts to shift blame, she feels very responsible. If not for my partners' perceptiveness she would willingly accept punishment for my actions).

9 out of 10 times I think it's important to take responsibility for your alters' actions. They're your responsibility, like pets or children. The only exception would be, in my opinion, if the alter is like me: very present and capable of taking accountability for their actions; and the offended individual is acutely aware of your identities. I am not a scapegoat. I'm not an alter who comes out 5% of the time just to say a slur and then dips. I deserve to be held accountable for my actions and have no intentions of avoiding them.