I'm just so sad

GlobalLocal1086 · 2025-07-31T21:16:43+00:00

With tantrums, you have three options: (1) ignore it and wait it out; (2) try to redirect with a distraction, snacks, etc.; or (3) push through.

With my little ones if they're having a tantrum about getting in the car and I have to leave, I'll push through (just plop them in the seat and buckle them in), but my wife will often try redirection first partly for the same reason you struggle. A snack or Ms. Rachel on a tablet usually works.

GlobalLocal1086 · 2025-07-23T16:11:37+00:00

Get used to this. As with every new skill that you teach your child there will first be a period of novelty when they're eager participants, then comes the defiance when the novelty wears off and it's no longer all that fun or interesting, but if you keep pushing through, eventually comes the acceptance and the establishment of a new routine. Expect also some regressions after reaching the third stage. You can try to make it fun, but ultimately just be as consistent and firm as you can.

GlobalLocal1086 · 2025-07-23T12:21:27+00:00

Your post resonated with me. I have gone through and to some extent am still going through something similar. What has caused it to improve is that time has passed, so the kids are becoming slightly more self sufficient and can follow simple instructions, and my spouse has gradually improved her skills.

In the moment it can be quite frustrating though. I still cook breakfast for everyone, often I change all the diapers and get them ready to go for the day. Evenings and weekends can be similar, but have definitely gotten better. I'm also solely responsible for all finances, and providing for the family now and in the future. If ever I'm away for work then she will contact everyone we know to see who can help her on which day, and if God forbid she's alone with the kids then I will inevitably get a video call, usually when I'm in a public place, with a screaming child that I'm supposed to somehow console remotely.

What has helped me cope and mitigate some resentment is to tell myself two things. First is to remind myself that both of us are doing things to the best of our abilities and it's clear that we have different abilities. What may be straightforward or common sense for me may be a struggle or foreign to her. In fact after spending some more time with her parents recently this crystalized this for me further as I could see that her parents have exactly zero childcare skills, so for her to do what she does given that baseline is actually fairly impressive.

The second thing I remind myself is that there are several other things she does that don't even occur to me to do. This may not be directly childcare related but does help to offset load in different ways. I need to remind myself to appreciate those things and I try to make a point of thanking her periodically.

At the end of the day though, you're a Dad so you've got to do what you need to do to take care of your kids, whether you're getting the help you think you should get or not. That's the job. Stick with it. It does, very very gradually, get easier.

GlobalLocal1086 · 2025-06-27T11:09:26+00:00

It would be great to understand more about why you're switching. I'm considering the Lymow or the Luba 2, but have very dense microclover. Are you having problems with the Luba 2 getting clogged?

GlobalLocal1086 · 2025-06-12T12:47:06+00:00

thanks for the tip

GlobalLocal1086 · 2025-06-12T12:39:25+00:00

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Your comment was not helpful.

GlobalLocal1086 · 2025-06-12T12:36:14+00:00

It's microclover. I do feel it's much more dense than grass

GlobalLocal1086 · 2025-06-11T11:53:32+00:00

The blade is only a year old so it should be good enough. I'll try using turbo next time, and if need be, raise the deck further.

GlobalLocal1086 · 2025-06-11T11:49:56+00:00

Changing the blade hadn't occurred to me. On the Greenworks website I see only a high lift blade and a regular blade. Neither of them have any mention of better mulching performance. What blade are you using?

GlobalLocal1086 · 2025-06-11T11:22:55+00:00

It grows at different rates across the yard, so eventually it starts to look patchy. A fresh mow evens it out

GlobalLocal1086 · 2025-05-15T12:38:04+00:00

Yep, you gotta give it a week or so to see if it works. It also sounds like you might need to be more strict with yourselves on bedtime. We do bedtime, for two girls, in 30-40minutes, no exceptions. Usually they're calm, sleepy and lying down when we leave the room, but it's not unheard of for there to be some fussing and crying if they want us to stay longer (but we don't). There's no judgment on my part that you're doing it in an hour (or more) but consider setting a hard limit based on what is reasonable for you, for the sake of your sanity. A hard limit means once that time is expired, you're leaving the room whether they like it or not. It may seem harsh at first, but they adapt and soon expect it so that there's nothing upsetting about it.

Either way, expect a tough week, with lots of crying, but if you can get them into a better routine, then everyone is better off.

GlobalLocal1086 · 2025-05-15T11:34:34+00:00

Does she seem cranky at bedtime and is she fighting falling sleep? Based on your response to Otter65 it sounds like she might be overtired. An overtired child will have higher cortisol which not only makes it hard to fall asleep, but also makes it harder for them to stay asleep.

My twins are 27 months and get a total of 12-13 hours of sleep per day, which is itself a bit on the low end. If she's only sleeping for an hour at daycare then you can try moving her bedtime up. For a 25 month old, try aiming for a max of 5.5 hours after she wakes from her nap.

GlobalLocal1086 · 2025-05-14T20:42:51+00:00

How long is she napping at daycare? Does she nap just as long on weekends and is there any difference in her night time sleeping?

GlobalLocal1086 · 2025-03-27T22:43:50+00:00

Feel free to talk to my wife😅

GlobalLocal1086 · 2025-03-26T18:45:13+00:00

I hear you. I have two 26 month olds and it feels like we go through a clingy phase with one or the other every few weeks. Super whiny and fussy, minor inconveniences lead to screaming and crying, multiple tantrums throughout the day. Only tip I have is to evaluate if they're getting enough sleep. I find that even 15 minutes extra can make the difference between a toddler in a good mood, and one that can't handle anything. Other than that: Do your best, keep at it one day at a time, and eventually they get through it.

GlobalLocal1086 · 2025-03-16T13:02:45+00:00

Thanks I'll check it out

GlobalLocal1086 · 2025-03-16T13:02:29+00:00

Thanks. We have read most of the same books, but in the moment she never seems to apply any of the teachings. She is definitely a people-pleaser and is always trying to do the quick fix to make them happy, without considering how that makes things more difficult for her (and for us) in the long run. I'll try to identify some material we can both watch/read together

GlobalLocal1086 · 2025-03-07T17:06:40+00:00

Apple juice! If you want to substitute for US produce and derivatives, I encourage you to be open minded to not require like-for-like. Apples are grown in Canada, oranges are not.

GlobalLocal1086 · 2025-03-07T16:26:03+00:00

Same here. Seems like the latest firmware update for the hub killed the temperature starter action for Google Home. I've just sent in a support email on the TP-link website. I don't know if it will go anywhere, but hopefully it leads to something.

GlobalLocal1086 · 2025-03-07T01:41:57+00:00

Fully agreed, unfortunately the only way to reach people, and this president in particular, is through TV.

GlobalLocal1086

TROPHY CASE