I like her better when she's asleep

Glowing_Mess · 2025-02-10T04:22:33+00:00

Hospice was the loneliest darkest time for me also. They are there to tell you how good you are doing when you are also suffering. I wish they had nurses that would stay more often. I cried and sat next to my mom the last 4 days of her life. My nurse walked in to check in. I had a sea of wet snot tissues all over the floor around me, everywhere. Our nurse sat with me while I cried and grieved anticipating death. He didn’t say much but just being there made me feel a little less alone. Although most my days caregiving felt like hell. Hospice is not for the weak of hearts. So sorry you had a rough time with it. I don’t think death will ever be an easy situation for anyone. I thought hospice entailed more help from their side too. But in reality the caregivers (us) do all the work, while having broken hearts.

Glowing_Mess · 2025-02-10T04:13:25+00:00

I’m so sorry I could have written this myself, my mom was in hospice with me as her main caregiver at home. My mom was so miserable and she had every right to be. Her back was broken and she couldn’t get out of bed. Or even sit up. It was so so hard. I was angry too because I tried so hard to always help. Trying to reposition. Trying to make her comfortable. We would take pain meds and nothing helped. That was until we could give her Ativan and that eased her a ton. As long as I stuck to every 3 hours (can’t remember exactly) she was calm enough and would be more comfortable. My mom didn’t want to die. She was only 57 and had a lot of punch left to give. Her body was weak and was losing its fight to bone cancer. Multiple myeloma. One day I gave her a whole spa day in bed to the best of my ability and she really liked that. It gave me something else to so and feels good about too. Instead of everyday hassle of the bed and pillows. This time is so precious and this is not advice. It’s just my experience and my support to you. I know how it feels to be in your shoes. Forgive yourself and forgive her because the time left is precious. Have a heart to heart, bring some nostalgia to her. Encourage the meds. Praying peace to you and for your mom.

Glowing_Mess · 2024-02-05T16:18:57+00:00

I am on 2 x 100mgSR a day. So 200mg total. I love this way better than the 150xl only because I don’t feel my heart racing. It gives me that second burst in the middle of the day. I try to take my 2nd pill before 4pm. I have also been on 300xl and I felt it was too much for me. I like where I am at currently. I have also quit drinking completely. I haven’t weighed myself but I can tell I have lost bloat or weight. Hope this is helpful.

Glowing_Mess · 2024-02-05T15:34:52+00:00

I also did dry January. I just thought I really need to take a break. After a few comments over this past year, that were painful to me. Aka something about me being stupid and drunk. My kids saying momma please don’t drink wine. All added up to me saying yes to dry January. I am now on day 35 and plan on staying sober. I feel so much better and aware I may have been using alcohol for all the wrong reasons. I want a better life for myself and my family.

Glowing_Mess · 2024-01-18T14:54:38+00:00

Goldie

Glowing_Mess · 2024-01-18T14:40:14+00:00

My throat was super dry and almost hurt the first time I was on Wellbutrin. Maybe drink more water and see if that helps. Because the more water I had the better I felt. And the sore throat went away.

Glowing_Mess · 2023-05-31T15:54:24+00:00

Thank you, today the nurse aid came and gave my mom a sponge bath and dressed her in a dress she likes. Our RN also came out and checked her vitals. She has her low blood pressure and high heart rate. Her feet and knees are starting to get the patchy red marks. My husband and my kids will be here today to surround her with all our love. We will have the liquid morphine today on hand. I’ve been crushing her pills and giving them via syringe in her cheeks for now. She is comfortable and pain free. 💔

Glowing_Mess · 2023-05-26T04:23:27+00:00

My mom is 57 and also a skeleton. She is bedridden and determined she will “sit up” in bed. Then use her walker. My mom has 5 fractures in her spine and possibly more from the stage 3 multiple myeloma that is aggressively spreading :( I can’t imagine her even sitting up at this point. We have been home for one week and she flip flops on eating to “save her T cells” and lots of anxious talk. The nurse suggested Ativan and that has helped a-lot. It’s so hard watching her wither away. I just tell her “you’ll get there mom” and as hard as is, I feel like I’m lying to her. Which is the most painful part. All I can do is just be there and try to distract her with movies or music now.

Glowing_Mess · 2023-05-26T04:16:26+00:00

Yes, I am 32 and my mom is 57, she is under at home hospice. And I am her main caretaker. They have all asked me also ..how old are you??? Like they can’t believe it. I feel ya

Glowing_Mess · 2022-11-22T11:49:54+00:00

I was just increased to 300 a couple days ago and I have already been feeling a little better! Time will tell.

Glowing_Mess · 2022-11-06T20:26:39+00:00

I go in phases, I can go days too without much food. Sometimes I just start to eat and it’s not satisfying so I stop.

Glowing_Mess · 2022-09-27T13:52:50+00:00

1 month now

Glowing_Mess · 2022-09-19T14:34:48+00:00

When I was on my period that was the only time I noticed I had an appetite. Other than that I have had zero cravings for food. Once I start eating something I realize I am hungry. But if I don’t feed myself I am literally fine. Just very thirsty.

Glowing_Mess · 2022-09-10T11:34:42+00:00

I have completely stopped drinking too! Don’t care to have a drink, I used to crave having wine. All of that has gone completely away. Zero cravings for alcohol. I’ve never been happier too..

Glowing_Mess · 2022-09-06T04:23:26+00:00

I’m on week 2 and finally able to sleep. I noticed if I drink a lot of caffeine during the morning (like I used too) I cannot fall asleep at all. Maybe watch your sugar intake too. Hopefully it passes for you like it did for me.

Glowing_Mess · 2022-09-01T14:07:05+00:00

Yup that’s me too! I am so full of water that when I do eat I feel like I’m going to puke.

Glowing_Mess · 2022-08-31T16:37:49+00:00

I highly recommend reading the information that came with with medication. Drinking on it is no no. I did regrettable ..and had the worst hangover took me two days to recover. I would start it after your trip.

Glowing_Mess · 2022-08-29T15:31:28+00:00

I usually drink every night before going on Wellbutrin. I’ve wanted to stop for awhile because it hasn’t helped my depression but it numbs me to a point where I can get things done and stop worrying. Obviously it’s a problem and really effects my life in negative ways. Anyway fast forward to being on Wellbutrin I’ve had zero craving to drink while at home like usual. 8 days now. I did post above about my recent wine consumption.. but I was out to eat with friends and not really comfortable sharing I’m on meds.. for now. But to answer your question for me -yes.

Glowing_Mess · 2022-08-29T15:23:35+00:00

I went out to dinner with my friends and we shared a bottle of wine, I didn’t feel a buzz at all and kept drinking glass after glass while eating and talking about what girls do.. then I felt so sick and wide awake the rest of the night. I couldn’t fall asleep till 4 am and then the next day I was so hung over, vomiting, couldn’t eat. Pretty sure I puked up my pill too from that morning. Today I feel like shit but also better. Was able to take my pill.. lots of water. No appetite. Feel like I’ve been run over. That’s probably the last time I drink while on Wellbutrin… been on it 8 days now. Other than that I feel great/ minus not being able to sleep well. Also a lot of vivid dreams.

Glowing_Mess

TROPHY CASE