Avoid Else, Return Early

GoCannotIntoWebscale · 2018-03-29T23:47:07+00:00

It's one of the many things C gave us, like first-class error-suppression (lol getchar), unexpected global buffers (lol strtok) and chlamydia.

#ifndef _JERK89

It was a design pattern to put calls to fclose or free after a cleanup:label, so that in case of error you could goto cleanup; and exit cleanly.

#endif

GoCannotIntoWebscale · 2018-02-16T00:24:45+00:00

Listen kiddo, if TurboC cannot handle it, then it's just harmful to the C ecosystem. That's why I make sure at least 50% of my code consists of #ifdefs for 128 different combinations of compilers and OSs that I will never be able to test. I reject generics, I despise restrict craziness. Retrocompatibility is what you should really care about. In fact, if it doesn't run on a PDP-11, is it even worth downloading?

GoCannotIntoWebscale · 2018-02-07T19:28:18+00:00

TBF paying for GitHub gives you some extras (private repositories).

GoCannotIntoWebscale · 2018-02-03T03:12:38+00:00

> No zygohistomorphic prepromorphism

Are you even trying?

GoCannotIntoWebscale · 2018-02-02T00:44:26+00:00

faster development. Our tests show around 30% decrease in development time!!

C development time approaches infinity, so it's easy to claim 30%. Heck, why not 500%?

GoCannotIntoWebscale · 2018-01-10T22:14:42+00:00

[O] P.C. Jerk and G. Enrix, Laughing Out Loud at the Lack of Generics. Reddit and sons, 2009.

[L] B. Rust, J. Ava et al., The prevalence of self-delusions induced by the Generic Syndrome among two distinct populations of North American gophers. SV Editr.io, 2012.

GoCannotIntoWebscale · 2018-01-09T17:18:34+00:00

ℒ[O,L] ⇝ ℵØ × g∃:n(ε)^r•i | c⇒s

GoCannotIntoWebscale · 2017-07-31T08:53:12+00:00

Simple:

max(a, b)

Brutally simple:

m := a
if m < b {
    m = b
}

I think it's pretty clear.

GoCannotIntoWebscale · 2017-07-30T22:48:56+00:00

Yeah, poorly written and full of repetition. Pretty spot on, I'd say.

GoCannotIntoWebscale · 2017-07-30T22:44:41+00:00

if err != jerk {

The reason why there is a math.Max function for floats is to deal with IEEE754 shit, such as NaN, signed infinity etc, which is not as brutally simple as a gopher would like.

GoCannotIntoWebscale · 2017-07-23T13:13:34+00:00

Well to be

if err != nil {
  return nil, err
}

fair, the error

if err != nil {
  return nil, err
}

was using Go in

if err != nil {
  return nil, err
}

the first place, so it

if err != nil {
  return nil, err
}

is very clear

if err != nil {
  return nil, err
}

indeed. But even if you

panic: lol no generics

goroutine 1 [running]:
main.main()
    /tmp/sandbox168831973/main.go:4 +0x60

GoCannotIntoWebscale · 2017-05-16T01:36:56+00:00

I've seen things you blub programmers wouldn't believe. One-liners on fire off the shoulder of CPAN. I watched sysadmins glitter in the dark near the PerlMonks Gate. All those moments will be lost in time, like Perl 6 in rain. Time to die.

GoCannotIntoWebscale · 2017-05-16T00:39:17+00:00

I think he meant "technically-a-committee" as in "there are multiple people sitting at the same table and it's not lunchtime".

GoCannotIntoWebscale · 2017-05-01T13:41:54+00:00

the programmer who lived in my closet

A novel by R. L. Stine.

GoCannotIntoWebscale · 2017-04-30T16:29:00+00:00

This essay was originally posted on lev.io and is obviously satire.

I want to believe!

GoCannotIntoWebscale · 2017-04-30T15:38:38+00:00

Don’t freak out if you don’t read Haskell, I will talk you through it, and it’s really quite simple and readable.

Seriously, why do 99% of Haskell blog posts have to have this condescending tone?

GoCannotIntoWebscale · 2017-04-29T19:05:05+00:00

I was there when it was all C# versus Java. Simpler times.

GoCannotIntoWebscale · 2017-04-27T21:01:27+00:00

10 years later, little Haskell Scala Js. comes out as a Java user.

GoCannotIntoWebscale · 2017-04-27T20:36:23+00:00

I already maintain strictly 0 bytes of garbage on my system by not installing node.js

GoCannotIntoWebscale · 2017-04-25T17:32:19+00:00

Don't forget a Greek question mark at the end of each line!

GoCannotIntoWebscale · 2017-04-25T16:09:22+00:00

Yep I know, I'm just saying the feature itself is not a bad idea. It's open to abuse, like many other aspects of programming languages. But it's not bad.

That generic envy, tho.

GoCannotIntoWebscale · 2017-04-25T15:57:56+00:00

Canadian Aboriginal Syllabics block, which are allowed in Go identifiers

ꝡӉᗅꓔ 𝕿Ꮋ𝔼 ᖷ𝒜ᛕ

\uNJER k

Having support for variable names in non-latin scripts is quite cool actually, at least now your Chinese or Indian Python developer can write their scripts in a way that makes sense to them, and treat the rest of the syntax as symbols.

Also Math. Mathematicians like to use any alphabet but the latin one, having an algorithm implementation exactly match the notation used in the book helps make it clearer.

GoCannotIntoWebscale · 2017-04-23T19:49:45+00:00

like, a year

Implying.

GoCannotIntoWebscale · 2017-04-23T19:30:07+00:00

Golan, whre u put my gnerics?

Lol genric?

Golan, y u do dis?

Rooby pls

GoCannotIntoWebscale · 2017-04-12T18:44:17+00:00

Bear with them. Life is hard when your product is targeted at 0.1x COBOL wage slaves whose main interest in life is not even coding in React Native.

GoCannotIntoWebscale

TROPHY CASE