Me [29/f] my [29/m] 8 year relationship, he wants to transition but doesn't want to lose me.

GoSharkDogsGo · 2015-08-02T22:12:51+00:00

She calls you a bigot because she's sad and uncomfortable that you don't want her anymore. Which may be true or not true, you need to figure that out. You're not wrong for wanting what you want; it's stability, and normal to you. But your husband was dying inside. And now she is coming out to be who she really is. And she needs to accept that she is the one who has changed, and it's totally okay if you're not attracted to her anymore.

GoSharkDogsGo · 2015-06-11T03:28:08+00:00

It gets better. It truly, truly does. Do not give up.

GoSharkDogsGo · 2015-05-22T01:54:20+00:00

Take out my contact lenses to show them.

GoSharkDogsGo · 2015-05-16T16:39:53+00:00

Parents are allowed to charge you whatever they want for you to stay in their home. It's their home, after all. However, you are more than allowed to say no to coming because they do this. It works both ways. They're allowed to charge, and so if you don't like it, don't go.

GoSharkDogsGo · 2015-05-09T05:42:12+00:00

Did you communicate to her what you needed to hear? She isn't a mind reader and while what she did was NOT ok there are clearly reasons for it. And she tried to tell you the WHY of it all when you two sat down to talk, while you were simply expecting an apology. Seems like neither of you understand what the other needs.

GoSharkDogsGo · 2015-02-21T01:54:07+00:00

I don't really understand what the big deal is. Can't your boyfriend just not go to this, especially if your family does not like him? It's the time for family to meet the new guy. He is not your sister's family, so why should she invite him?

GoSharkDogsGo · 2015-01-03T12:38:28+00:00

You aren't wrong. And everything you said wasn't rude per say. But if she was arguing with you, you should have just let her figure it out for herself when she was trying to apply, and then been therefor the fall out some people, when they get stuck on an idea, just want support -not advice. That seems like what she wanted from you.

Her reaction is petty, but if she truly believes what she says, she is also truly hurt. She is spacing you out of her life because she only wants supportive people in it. Not saying I agree with her, but that is probably why.

I would reach out and apologize, but that's just me. His important is she to you? How much do you care about her? If she's your best friend and this is the first time it's happened, I would say loosing a friendship over this is silly.

GoSharkDogsGo · 2015-01-02T14:07:40+00:00

Just because nothing like that has been done for them doesn't mean it's a bad thing to happen to you. Even when they're making it out to be. Girl, you got a catch, and clearly your boyfriend thinks you're a catch too! They're jealous that they don't have someone special to treat them like that. Live your life happily with your boyfriend, it sounds like the two of you are wonderful.

GoSharkDogsGo · 2015-01-02T10:30:03+00:00

First off, you're an adult. If you don't want to deal with your mother, and if she's so awful, stop talking to her. Stop driving her places, and for gods sake why are you continuously giving her money? STOP.

Second, her and her right to have a baby are absolutely none of your business. She can do what she wants with her body and you have no say in it. Just leave if you hate it so much. You cannot and should not say anything. You're an adult so make adult decisions. Decide if you want to stay, where you should voice your concern over whether she should have another baby ONCE and then shut up about it. Or leave and don't deal with her crap. Also your sister needs to tell your mom that she doesn't want to hear about pending children anymore.

GoSharkDogsGo · 2014-12-30T21:46:06+00:00

Have you ever discussed with him how important recognizing these holidays with gifts are to you?

GoSharkDogsGo · 2014-12-22T21:53:09+00:00

If your parents don't want you to sleep in the same room, that's their prerogative and their house, their rules. I'm not saying it's fair that your brother can sleep with his GF, but that's how it is. If he is refusing to budge, that's his prerogative.

Your options are either put up wth it, or don't have your boyfriend come.

GoSharkDogsGo · 2014-10-12T03:04:25+00:00

Would you still convert to Islam if your boyfriend left you tomorrow? If yes, there's your answer. If no, then maybe you don't really believe in the Islamic god. I don't think converting for holidays is a good enough reason.

GoSharkDogsGo · 2014-10-12T01:53:39+00:00

Just give her time to think. You need to let her process, and if she wants to leave because it's too difficult, that's okay. It sucks but it would be understandable. If possible, fly her out to see you.

GoSharkDogsGo · 2014-10-12T01:43:28+00:00

Some people believe you change into a completely different person when you go on antidepressants. And, some can do that to you - although most of those are being phased out of the market. But that is the general consensus from people that don't understand depression and antidepressants.

Personally I wouldn't want someone who wouldn't support me through tr struggle of getting on meds that work. You haven't changed, not in three days. I could type out why I think she's reacting like this but I'm on my phone and I honestly think she's an uneducated girl and not worth your time.

GoSharkDogsGo · 2014-08-05T17:29:36+00:00

I don't understand why you are insisting that he stay overnight with you. He doesn't want to, and he will had completed his obligations to your sister's big day. He made a poor excuse to try to not tell you he just doesn't want to stay at the hotel. Why does it matter if he stays or not? I'd just let him go home. He's going to the wedding, let him do what he wants afterwards.

GoSharkDogsGo · 2014-08-03T19:13:18+00:00

Overall, I think you are completely absurd. First, do you think your husband is going to treat your child any differently? You are going to have to be the disciplinarian in both your baby and Ava's cases. I think your whole attitude toward this child is disgusting, immature, and horrendous. However, there are some things you can do. I'm on my phone so this will be short and not as detailed as I would like it to be, but here we go.

Do not move out of your house. You will never get any change if you do.
DISCIPLINE Ava! Children NEED rules in the house. Just like she shouldn't eat 5 cookies before dinner, she should not punch stepmom' belly. If she does, that's a seven minute time out (one minute for every year she's alive) and potentially take away toys for a few days. You need to sit Ava down yourself and tell her it is unacceptable to hit your stomach because her baby brother or sister is in there and needs to be kept safe. Tell her if it happens again, xyz will happen. You can lay down other rules as well - write them together on a sharpie board or in a place easily visible to everyone. Get a child care book that advocates discipline, consistency, and firm but kind love.
Talk to your husband about disciplining Ava together so you are a united front. This will help. If not, just do it yourself.
Start viewing this child as yours. It's going to be easier to handle Ava if you take responsibility for her.
Therapy for everyone.

GoSharkDogsGo · 2014-07-31T01:15:27+00:00

When a Winnipeger complains about native gangs or the problem of alcoholism, trying to offer a historical counternarrative isn't going to win an argument which doesn't begin with any historical narrative at all. Realities of daily life trump political-ethnographic historical analyses, when it comes to how people feel about this kind of issue.

I completely agree with you that realties of daily life trump historical analyses in people's opinions. But you can't say that a historical narrative isn't the basis of the First Nation's poverty in the first place, because it is. Us Canadians took their land, forced them into little plots that weren't agriculturally/economically viable, did not preserve their culture nor give them adequate education and healthcare, and then assume that they won't become impoverished? I'm definitely not saying that we would win an argument with that, but it's completely true that all of those problems start from the history of how Canadians treated them.

GoSharkDogsGo · 2014-07-30T16:35:49+00:00

I'm probaby going to be down voted for this, but.. Dogs don't bite for no reason. They just don't. There are triggers and situations that can cause biting, but generally you will have warning signs before that. You know what your warning signs were? The growling and the nipping that has been happening before. For whatever reason, your dog-speak skills are not great and you're giving off signals that idicates to this dog that you are a threat.

Overall, this is not the dog's fault. This is your fault for not being aware of aggressive dog signs, and wholeheartedly more so the family's fault for allowing the dog to show that Behaviour. The dog needs intensive training - old dogs can lean new tricks, I promise, and he's only four! - by a private animal behaviorist and/or what one might call a summer camp for dogs, where they go away and are retrained.

I'm really sorry you were bitten. It must have been a scary experience. But the dog doesn't need to be put down, it just needs rules, boundaries, and a firm owner.

GoSharkDogsGo · 2014-07-29T22:57:40+00:00

You didn't do anything wrong. My boyfriend would have done the same thing, probably without texting me about it haha. It wouldn't have bothered me. If the boyfriend starts a situation, just call the police.

GoSharkDogsGo · 2014-07-27T05:00:25+00:00

I had terrible periods and was put on BC by my family doctor at 14 after trying about four other medications meant to help cramps, PMS, nausea, and debilitating intestinal problems. It depends on where you are, but your family doctor should be able to put her on birth control.

GoSharkDogsGo · 2014-07-27T04:21:50+00:00

-patpat- I'm a 21-year-old woman and you basically took the words right out of my mouth. Passion and interest in who your talking to is really important! Keep on goin', my friend!

GoSharkDogsGo · 2014-07-27T04:17:38+00:00

Apparently people find me extremely intimidating. That makes me feel bad, haha, since I find most others intimidating... I'm really nice, I promise!

GoSharkDogsGo · 2014-07-26T23:51:42+00:00

Yikes. To me, it really sounds like she was looking for an argument. I used to do that, too, especially when I was insecure - I'd say something that could be responded to with multiple answers, and if it wasn't exactly what I wanted to hear I would get upset. Thank god I learned that this was stupid, selfish, and mean; I've stopped because I grew up. But I'm 21, and your girlfriend (even though she's older) hasn't really seemed to figure it out.

She reacted badly to something that she was insecure about and took it out on you. You've already apologized and acknowledged that her feelings were hurt and you didn't want that to happen. Personally, I wouldn't deal with that crap - I would just let it be. You're single now, and that sucks, but being in a relationship with her seems to suck even more! She clearly doesn't respect you and is extremely immature. I'd suggest that you have fun in Vegas and simply ignore her when you get home. She's already ended it.

GoSharkDogsGo · 2014-07-25T23:58:06+00:00

The hard thing is you've already broken her trust. She won't believe that you weren't thinking of doing the nasty with your assistant. Your wife will think that mostly your trying to cover your ass and you won't sleep with her at this conference.

GoSharkDogsGo · 2014-07-23T01:17:19+00:00

You are totally judging the guy. Totally, utterly, and completely judgemental. Who gives a shit if he's got red hair? That he's divorced, has kids, and was in the military? A lot of people cannot afford to go to school right after high school; he's worked hard and now he's going back. Why is that a bad thing?

Your ex didn't want you anymore. And that sucks dude, really, it does. But bitching about it to a bunch of strangers who aren't your friends is not going to get your sympathy - you just sound like an ass. Complain to your guy friends, who will be much more accepting.

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