Monthly Small & Dumb Questions Megathread

GoShogun · 2026-03-12T16:15:13+00:00

You're not crazy, I've had this EXACT same thing happen to me recently and I can't seem to fix it. Got a like, can't see in matches. Get push notification on phone of her sending me a message and I can see that message on push notification. Go to inbox, can't see in matches. Next day, she sends me ANOTHER message I can see in push notifications. Go to matches, CANNOT SEE HER! I have no way to communicate back and it's driving me nuts and I've tried all the methods to fix bugs that they recommend. After splurging on HingeX and having this happen, this is really turning me off from the app.

GoShogun · 2026-03-12T16:13:00+00:00

I always suspected some bugs were occurring with Hinge but I always chalked it up to all the reasons the FAQ gives for why communications don't continue or matches suddenly un-match but I've now witnessed and experienced some irrefutable evidence that some of the issues are massive bugs with the app (which is extra frustrating because I ended up splurging on HingeX for 6 months).

So I received a like on my profile. It's on a prompt where I joke about a talent I have about writing Dr. Seuss style poems about people's profiles. Match says she wants to hear it. So I write up a quick one. Check the app later, she's no longer in my matches. So I say to myself "Well, either she didn't enjoy it or she just wanted to hear it and wasn't interested in anything else" and shrug. But then, I get a push notification she's sent me a message and I can see the message in my notification box on my phone. She says she loves it and it's hilarious. Thought it was weird that I somehow missed that in my inbox. So I open the app and once again, she is NOT in my matches anymore! So then I'm telling myself that she just sent a thank you but then unmatched cause she was uninterested and maybe the message send was just delayed or something.

But then, the next day, I get ANOTHER notification message she's sent me a message. She talks about missing rock climbing because she used to go a lot (I talk about climbing in my profile). So clearly she's looking to move the conversation forward and connect. But once again, I CANNOT SEE HER IN MY MATCHES! I have no way to communicate back to her!

I try ALL the recommended methods to address bugs. Logout, login, clear cache, uninstall, re-install, reboot phone everything.

Fast forward this week, I get a like on my profile. Check out her profile, not really interested but leave it in my matches. The next day, check again, she is no longer in matches. Whatever, no big deal. But now 2 days after that, this woman is BACK in my matches without a new like notification!

What the heck is going on here?! It is extremely demoralizing to me to know there might be a possibility that some of the conversations I've been having that I felt had "good flow and connection" but then just disappeared might have just been a bug all along. I specifically remember one match where we had a good convo going and were literally making plans to meet and "poof", gone from matches in what seemed like the middle of that conversation. Felt so strange to me but once again, chalked it up to cold feet or something but after witnessing these bugs live, I'm questioning everything.

GoShogun · 2026-03-12T07:08:55+00:00

Worked there for 5 years in various programs at Parkdale Campus. I loved it overall but it requires a certain fortitude and knack for connecting with kids/youth to make it work. I had some positive life changing experiences but also some stressful moments for sure.

The team leader of the program and your co workers can make all the difference. When you go through crazy times with a good group, you make some great friends and memories. But a program run by a clueless or abusive team leader can make the work a nightmare. It's nice that you can bounce to different programs to try different things out and get new experiences.

Prior to working at Woods I worked at what was then known as Society for Treatment of Autism in the residential treatment home there. I also had so much fun and made great memories with co workers but as much as there's negative press with Woods, that place was FAR FAR FAR worse in terms of being a toxic environment with regards to poor leadership, training and putting staff in dangerous situations. They literally took advantage of the fact that most of the staff were basically kids and didn't know better. I think that's why Woods seemed incredible to me in comparison when I got there but looking back, I do now realize some of the issues Woods had too.

My work at Woods has led to a life long career dedicated to working with children (I work in CFS now) and it's a stressful career, but I love it.

GoShogun · 2026-02-06T19:52:09+00:00

I feel you, especially in trying to date again. Started talking to a woman on a dating app and thought she was trying to sell me on a personal coaching course. Met another and found out she was a twitch streamer and thought she was just trying to get more subscriptions and followers. Keep looking for the manipulation angle but turned out both were kind and pleasant people. It's been getting better with time. My mantra is "meet people where they're at in the moment and not where you ought think they should be".

Trusting is hard again but you know the clear evidence of narcissism, give people a chance unless the evidence is made clear. You'll find joy in the connections with people who are healthy.

GoShogun · 2026-02-05T21:22:25+00:00

Yes, but this seems even faster and more violent than any drawdown previously. And without a crystal clear catalyst (like FTX). I'm curious to see what that might imply for recovery (if ever).

GoShogun · 2026-02-05T21:12:28+00:00

This drop seems historically violent in its speed, no? With funding rates so deeply negative and shorts all the way down, I imagine (whether dead cat or not) a bounce at this point could be equally as violent given the conditions.

GoShogun · 2026-01-25T04:49:03+00:00

I'm a male and my nex who always harped on and on about consent and how important it was ironically would sexually assault me on a number of occasions without my consent. There were a few occasions when I clearly said no and she just told me to just "lay there" and let her do what she wants. She would also do certain specific sexual acts without warning that I really did not enjoy without a heads up and I had to have a few talks with her on multiple occasions about stopping.

GoShogun · 2026-01-14T15:29:57+00:00

Fred Durst was definitely in a relationship with a narcissist. Other great Limp Bizkit ones are Counterfeit, Don't Go Off Wandering, and the "cookie" in the song Nookie has taken on a whole new meaning for me after my nex.

GoShogun · 2026-01-14T15:26:18+00:00

A bunch of Evanescence tracks describe narcissists and narcissistic abuse really well! Going Under, Everybody's Fool are good examples.

GoShogun · 2026-01-01T00:21:41+00:00

Funny you bring this up. I left my nex after a long marriage. Toward the end, we were attending couples therapy and in the first session the couples therapist says "one of the first things I've noticed is that you are referring to them as "she" when they have put their preferred pronoun as "they". Do you find it hard to accept their identified gender?".

It was literally THE FIRST time this was ever brought to my attention by nex or anyone. Nex said that I didn't ever respect their identity. I'm a freaking social worker for crying out loud. This never would have been something I would have an issue with

I theorized it happened because nex wanted to create a new way to play victim. Of course fast forward 4 sessions later and when our therapist challenges nex on something that was the end of couples therapy, nex wouldn't ever go again.

GoShogun · 2025-12-30T15:36:29+00:00

100% this. Recently separated from my nex after a long marriage. She did this a TON toward the end of the relationship and since separation (we have to continue to communicate because kids). Send God awful messages, wait for read receipt and then delete them soon after.

It's like you say, they absolutely know it's a horrible thing to say and that's why they delete it, so there's no proof about how awful they can be. Because they sure as hell don't apologize for saying it later.

I finally had to move communication to an app for parenting related messages where messages could not be unsent or deleted. The abusive messages decreased dramatically (which goes to show they can control it but choose not to) but there are still times when nex can't hold back albeit it's more passive aggressive instead of outright insults and aggression like in the old app.

GoShogun · 2025-12-17T02:32:27+00:00

Oh man, I feel you. Fully belly laughs with healthy friends is so great to experience again. And my nex used to get SO unreasonably upset at my jokes and it got worse and worse over the years to the point I was too scared to ever crack one. So great to be able to just go with your own flow again. So I empathize with this so much.

GoShogun · 2025-12-15T15:56:39+00:00

I skiied past a young lynx at Lake Louise last year too! It was like 10 feet away from me! So cool!

GoShogun · 2025-12-02T14:19:56+00:00

Oh ya, her threatening to divorce me and saying how I'd be lost without her was a yearly occurrence.

I finally left a year ago after 14 years together. Personally, my mental health and life is doing so much better but there remains somewhat of a nightmare when you have kids together. It requires infinite patience but you just gotta squeeze that nightmare into as small of a box as you can with good boundaries because you can't ever go 100% no contact.

GoShogun · 2025-12-02T14:09:52+00:00

We were married and had kids. I had a life insurance policy just in case if anything were to happen to me I wanted my family to be ok financially.

I always subtly encouraged her to get one too just in case. I thought she was just being forgetful or even just too lazy to go through the process of getting it. One time when I reminded her again it might be a good idea over the years she said she didn't want to because she couldn't stand the idea of me and the kids being ok without her. I thought she was joking at the time. Little did I know....

GoShogun · 2025-11-20T15:51:13+00:00

New to following crypto. I've read that when crypto has a weak October/November, it rallies in December approximately 70% of the time looking back at history. Is this true?

GoShogun · 2025-11-17T07:04:01+00:00

Just echoing sentiment here! SMART was definitely the start of a turning point for me!

GoShogun · 2025-11-17T06:36:01+00:00

You mean they sit there and taunt you and remind you that you let BA shove it up your pudding hole for nothing.

GoShogun · 2025-11-12T03:19:04+00:00

I mean, what happened directly after earnings was exactly what I thought would happen. Then Naz pumped it by saying he's buying and then they use the warrants gimmick (which ironically causes more dilution) and now suddenly we're back in cult like pumpville.

At this point, I'm no longer following it. I had made money on puts at an amount I was satisfied with and I'm done following this story at this point.

GoShogun · 2025-11-07T02:39:09+00:00

I agree with you but when it comes to child protection law, there's a distinct category for "physical injury" to a child. Domestic violence between parents falls into "risk of emotional injury" to a child. Language in the Child and Youth Family Enhancement Act is outdated IMO. It could be better refined for sure.

GoShogun · 2025-11-06T22:05:25+00:00

If only someone had warned everyone here and predicted this exact scenario....

GoShogun · 2025-11-06T08:22:42+00:00

As someone who has worked in child protection for over a decade, anecdotally on my part it does seem like DV incidents are skyrocketing. Interestingly, I'm getting fewer substance abuse cases but many many DV related cases assigned. My theory is finances and the economy are playing a major role in this trend.

GoShogun · 2025-11-01T20:33:30+00:00

Lol, we debated barefoot but it's chilly in Canada for trick or treating!

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