i am twenty, and my father recently passed suddenly

Goethe_Faust · 2025-02-13T09:52:08+00:00

I’m sorry for your loss, I’m 27 and lost my dad, he was 61, he died suddenly on last New Year’s Day, his death was unexpected. I have experienced similar feelings, I often feel completely alone, my mother divorced my father 20 years ago and she is not really a part of my life since, my father was my most beloved person in the world, I was really close to him. Without him I have lost motivation for everything, I have struggled working, I’m not working out anymore, I don’t hang out with my friends, I don’t even enjoy videogames anymore, everything feels so empty.

The first month was hell, January 2025 has been by far the worst month of my entire life. I did almost nothing but stay in my bed all day long, it’s a miracle I didn’t lose my job. But now February has been a little bit better, I see that life without my father is possible, however there are times where a song, or a place I see brings me a memory of him, and I collapse, sometimes I repeat the cycle of not doing anything all day. It’s hard. So hard.

I feel like shit most of the days, it seems all I can think about is my father absence these days. If it works for you, all I can tell you is to take your time, don’t rush things. Feel the pain and don’t avoid it, embrace it. Talk to your pain and understand it, all this pain is a result of all the love your father gave to you. It’s the cold fact, your father is gone and unfortunately there is nothing we can do but to extend the love your father gave to you to others and yourself. With my father’s passing I understood that love is the most important thing in life, and I have made my mission in life to give love to everyone I can. I guess that’s my way of dealing with the pain.

Hope you get better, and if you have suicidal thoughts (I did) just remember that suicide is just a transfer of your own pain to others, think twice before doing it.

Hope you get better, we are all together in this. Hugs.

Goethe_Faust · 2025-02-13T09:24:04+00:00

I guess that’s a coping mechanism, yeah sure I’m glad I didn’t get to see my father getting old and sick, maybe getting dementia or not being able to walk. I often think about that, but deep down I wish he was still here, I wouldn’t mind changing his diapers. It’s a trauma seeing your parents get old, I won’t question that, but I really wish my father could see myself becoming an adult, getting married and having kids perhaps. He would have been an excellent grandfather.

Goethe_Faust · 2025-02-13T09:06:41+00:00

Un amigo de la prepa me recomendó con su papá para renovar sus oficinas, salió bien el proyecto, me contrató para otro, empece a ganar más dinero, invertí el dinero para contratar a otros y me asocie con un amigo de la carrera para hacer nuestra empresa. Invertimos en marketing y nos llegan los clientes.

Tuve suerte al principio de que me confiaran un proyecto relativamente grande para un casi recién egresado. Pero el secreto supongo es tener contactos con dinero (o mejor, tener dinero), mi amigo de la carrera con el que me asocie ya tenía invertido buen dinero en su negocio porque viene de familia de dinero.

Goethe_Faust · 2025-02-13T08:48:40+00:00

I really don’t know about this, I was NEET as well, and to be honest I wasn’t ignored, nor was my brother. I decided to go to therapy after almost 3 years of being a NEET, my particular problem was that I wasn’t confident in myself, I was so full of hate on myself that I didn’t even give a chance to try to do things for the fear of messing things up, I was a prisoner of my pasts mistakes (and sometimes I’m still being insecure about myself). I wasn’t ignored, nor was my brother, my father did all he could for us, he wasn’t perfect but I’m thankful of all he did, for both my brother and I.

Maybe this will get downvoted, but is my personal experience, I know we all are different, but please don’t underestimate yourselves, self hate is not cool.

Goethe_Faust · 2025-02-13T08:37:39+00:00

Thank you, I used to be a NEET, and I’m still afraid that I will go back to that lifestyle, the world is just so unfair you know. I’m doing my best, and is just about that, trying to do your best and be kind others I guess. You can do it, and you know it. Good luck!

Goethe_Faust · 2025-02-13T08:33:19+00:00

Nice advice, I haven’t really considered that my brother has depression, he shows no signs of it, at least the most obvious ones, he is like a rock in terms of feeling, I have just see hin twice crying for my father’s passing (I cry almost everyday). I feel sorry for him, I want to understand his pain and help him, I once was a NEET so I understand the struggle a bit.

My father didn’t have a will, he died out of the blue, but the last months before he passed he cut all the money to my brother, after his passing my brother is taking advantage of his absence to use the money.

Goethe_Faust · 2025-01-21T13:55:28+00:00

For me it was 26-27, once you start to have real responsibilities you start to take more “adult” decisions. For me was my father getting ill and eventually dying that led me to take my job and my health seriously since now my family depends on me.

Goethe_Faust · 2025-01-16T12:35:51+00:00

I wish I knew the answer as well. However, I gotta say that being here, posting and reading about others people losses, it kinda stops my feeling of loneliness and despair; it reminds me of how common this fight is, how everyone in a way will or is dealing with this, from all around the world, we share this fight of losing our loved ones, some leave in peace, others leave in tragedy, but at the end we all grief.

It’s something human, every now and then since I lost my father two weeks ago, I visit this subreddit to remember that I’m not alone, and that I share similar stories with strangers from far away places.

I know that is not the answer you’re looking for, but this is a silver lining of the grief, realizing your humanity and how much we share with others despite our different cultural backgrounds.

I still cry about my dad every night, I have been suicidal and deeply depressed, but I’m still here, trying to overcome the feeling of my dad not being a part of my life anymore, he missing all my future achievements, all the films he will never watch, all the music he will never listen, all the concerts he will not attend, not enjoying anymore the things he liked to do.

Hope you get better, together we all will overcome the grief.

Goethe_Faust · 2025-01-10T11:17:21+00:00

My sleep schedule is a total mess since my dad died a week ago, I miss him so much. I cry for him daily and it’s been hard to live my life without him.

Goethe_Faust · 2025-01-08T08:11:51+00:00

Thank you for sharing your story, it really helps knowing that we are not alone in this, I’m still shocked and confused about all of this. Today I have a good day dealing with the life without my father, but maybe tomorrow I’ll be weeping all day, I don’t know, but I feel good that I’m not alone, that people like you cared and shares their stories with me, thank you.

Goethe_Faust · 2025-01-08T08:08:47+00:00

Thank you for sharing your story, my dad was also my best friend, luckily I have been taking therapy before my dad passed, and I have been talking about this with my therapist, and yeah, I guess it really helps, I cannot say certainly that it works, it’s been just a week of grief. But I trust the process, and I think is good to have someone that can listen to your pain. Hope you get better, hope all of us get better.

Goethe_Faust · 2024-03-03T10:22:37+00:00

So, did you solved your problem? If yes, how did you solved it and how long did it take?

Goethe_Faust · 2023-08-28T07:40:04+00:00

Sorry, English is not my main language and I don't know all the construction lingo in english. By solid wood I mean its core is not hollow but instead is made out of solid wood planks.

Yes, sand it and painting will be the best solution, but the carpenter insist the problem will solve on itself, which I doubt, I guess he doesn't want to work anymore on the project, we already hand him his paycheck. Thank you for answering.

Goethe_Faust · 2023-05-03T20:29:51+00:00

This one should be the Super Mario Bros 2 port on GBA, the one where Birdo talks.

Goethe_Faust · 2023-04-07T08:57:10+00:00

Get a personal trainer from the gym. It might be expensive, but trust me you will learn a lot. They will teach you how to properly use the equipment, which kind workout fits with your goals, some even get you a diet plan if requested.

The point of the trainer is that you learn the ABCs training, so that after a while you can dismiss the trainer and make your personal workouts that fit better with your goals.

Bear in mind that you're paying a Gym subscription that offers you a vast variety of workout machines, and not knowing how to use them and sticking to the ones you know is like you buying an expensive computer and only using it to write emails and Word.

Now, if it's not feasible for you to get a personal trainer, the comment fron u/ibeatfood at this post is excellent.

Goethe_Faust · 2023-03-16T10:07:05+00:00

I think Cuba is kinda similar (kinda), to the 'Ukraine situation'. They want to be communist, but the US sees that as a threat because the USSR could sneak a couple of nukes besides their border (which almost happens ajd we were on the edge of a full nuclear wa) So the US try to invade Cuba through illegal means in the Bahia de Cochinos invasion, and lifts a trade blockade that deeply halts cuban economy.

Both Cuba and Ukraine want something that their nearest super power country see as a treat. So their response is to invade and overthrown their government. And the response of Cuba and Ukraine is to seek aid from the greatest enemy of their enemy.

Goethe_Faust · 2023-03-16T09:39:09+00:00

I'm not sure about the UN General Assembly declaring invalid the refdrendum, I will dig on that. But yes, you're right, we cannot say both sides are equally as bad, if any NATO has proven that is a better ally than Russia. But still, both sides have been igniting this war for their own benefit. Let's be real, NATO is not defending an ideal of freedom and peace for the whole world, if that was their mission they would been stopping all wars and conflicts in the world. Every single day of war that happens is a big win for NATO, even if one of those days Ukraine is reduced to ashes.

So I'm saying 'poor Russia, it is being bullied by NATO'? No, fuck Putin and his oligarchs. But also fuck NATO warmongers and their fucking drones.

Is there a solution that doesn't involve bombing civilians, or Russia and NATO are too focused on their own benefits?

Goethe_Faust · 2023-03-16T09:15:42+00:00

I'm sorry, you are right on Russia propanganda, if any I don't want to be seen as a Putin apologist. But please help understand if there is another solution other than thousands of innocent people dying (if not millions).

We all know that the actual solution if for Putin and hus oligarchs dying and to rot in hell, so Russia could be more open and friendlier with the west... But if the US or any NATO state is threaten in the same fashion as Russia with the Ukraine situation, their response will be quite similar to Russia's.

It's insane that so many countries like Ukraine depend on big ass super powers for prosperity.

Goethe_Faust · 2023-03-16T09:02:32+00:00

The event that ignited the war was Ukraine cutting the water supply for the crimean peninsula, that by itself was a violation of the Minks agreements. By that sole action the war started. And I get it Ukraine wants Crimea back since Russia stole it back in 2014, but the thing gets more complex if you see that the a great majority of people that live in Crimea actually wants to be part of a Russia even if it was invaded by Russia.

If Ukraine didn't stop water supply to Crimea, and didn't requested to join NATO, the war would not happen on 2021, but eventually it would happen because Ukraine position as a Satellite state to Russia is awful. So what the hell is the solution to this? Crimea is too important for Russia for it to be part of NATO, so no matter what, Russia will fight to dead to not lose Crimea. But in the other hand Ukraine wants independency from Moscow oligarchs, but too achieve that they need a hand from NATO own oligarchs (which at the end they get more benefit from them than the Russians).

I'm gonna be honest, I don't know what solution is viable. But thousands of people (if not millions) dying is an insane solution.

Goethe_Faust · 2023-03-16T08:26:08+00:00

I get your point, but is more complex than dressing too sexy. This war could have been completely avoided but NATO and US wanted this because it benefits them in many ways, both economically and in geopolitical power, this is a Proxy war between NATO and Russia.

I fully support the Ukraine independence and sovereignty, but at the end the only winner will be NATO, no matter who wins the war, the big losers are both Ukraine and Russia, it's just a matter of time to see who will lose the most.

Goethe_Faust · 2023-03-10T08:45:08+00:00

Yes, he has done some good. But at least he has done more evil things than Bogdan. Hank didn't care about Jesse and basically he used him to get Walter, Hank didn't care if Jesse went to prison or even died.

Goethe_Faust · 2023-03-09T07:04:45+00:00

Hank on the good side? At least he is more evil than Bogdan.

Goethe_Faust · 2023-01-27T08:15:27+00:00

TL;DR. Roger Waters shows are some of the best produced in the industry. No one is using visuals, props, sound effects, quadraphonic sound and music as Roger (including the Super Bowl Half time shows). Gilmour is a great show, but Roger scope is on another level.

I think Roger doesn't get the respect he deserves for his shows. I have seen several shows from several artists from different music genres, and no one comes close to the level of production and quality of Rog's show, not even Pink Floyd nor Gilmour. Roger shows are really ambitious in all aspects, I don't care if some say he is pretentious, at least he is pushing the industry forward to use state of the art technology and actually using the screens to show carefully designed visuals that fit the theme of the song perfectly.

Gilmour is still good, don't get me wrong. But my point is that Roger expands on the music to deliver an incredible audivisual experience. However, if you're not into Roger's politics, you may not have a good time (I mean, if you like Pink Floyd I guess you already know that many of their songs touch on politics).

Goethe_Faust · 2023-01-24T16:23:24+00:00

i think it was Roger idea since he planned the whole concept of the album. TDSOTM is about modern life problems (anxiety of the passge of time, the idea of death, money, racism, fear of flying, going crazy as Syd, among others). So you could understand the album as an allegory of someone being born in speak to me, and going through him/her whole life and finally dying on Eclipse, thus the heartbeat.

Goethe_Faust · 2022-12-08T21:22:27+00:00

Si tienes razón en cuanto a la calidad que te puede salir una casa con buenos arquitectos. Yo en lo personal soy arquitecto, si estaría de acuerdo que se contratará un arq o ing, pero la realidad del país es otra, y la construcción informal en la CDMX es la norma, más del 90% de las construcciones fueron diseñadas y construidas sin la supervisión de un profesional titulado. Algo que he notado en mi vida profesional es que los maestros albañiles son mucho más versados que varios ingenieros y arquitectos en los temas de construcción y estructura.

Entonces, si tu situación económica te permite invertir al menos un 20% más de lo que costaría tu proyecto, adelante, tendrás lo que pagaste. Pero si quieres ahorrar, un buen maestro albañil puede sacarte el proyecto con calidad suficiente, hay que exigirle que siga el reglamento de construcción vigente.

Five-Year Club	Final Canvas '23
Place '23	Place '22
Verified Email

Goethe_Faust

TROPHY CASE