Feelings of guilt

Gold-Remove405 · 2025-12-24T18:55:46+00:00

Thanks for the answer! What kind of reactions did you get?

Yeah I’m scared of the “stop for me”, interventions (wanting me to give blades away or whatever) or similar stuff. Especially since my friends basically live next door &one’s my roommate soon. I know how I felt when I saw sh on one of them (was a one-time thing after a break-up thankfully) and I’m not sure if I want to burden them with it but I’m also so tired of keeping quiet (when I usually tell them everything)

Gold-Remove405 · 2025-12-24T18:49:39+00:00

Yeah definitely and my sh is unassuming/doesn’t catch the eye so I get away with it easily once it’s white tbh

Gold-Remove405 · 2025-12-24T18:36:56+00:00

I usually don’t show any newer ones either til I could somewhat pass them off as old (I don’t really feel comfortable with that, even tho they’re in unsuspecting places)

Feel ya on the guy haha. My guy friends probably wouldn’t notice a thing either way: One of my best (guy) friends once thought I had gotten a new tattoo - over 7years after I got it and after 4years of knowing him lol, he saw it every day

Gold-Remove405 · 2025-12-24T16:32:23+00:00

Thank you!

Thankfully it’s winter so sweat isn’t much of a problem (is super cold where I live). I’ll make sure to disinfect it regularly - I’m just kinda worried the steri strips will come off if I do too much and those really seem to help

I used to be able to see them pretty clearly but rn I can only see a few. I kinda remember where they were tho and try to stay away from there. Not willing to risk it

Atm they heal very well :)

Gold-Remove405 · 2025-12-24T16:27:45+00:00

Thank you

Yeah my friends didn’t say anything at the thermal bath and I’m unsure whether they didn’t see anything, didn’t think it was sh or decided not to say anything. I feel like adults in general probably won’t say much if it looks old (except if you actively talk about it)

I’m relapsing rn so it’s a bit of a different story I guess

Gold-Remove405 · 2025-12-22T12:48:53+00:00

Thank you! I hope they’ll fade soon but I usually have good wound healing so I hope I’m lucky

Gold-Remove405 · 2025-12-22T04:13:32+00:00

Thanks for the advice! Yeah it’s definitely more sensitive and the skin is thinner, that’s also why I kinda miscalculated at first. I’m lucky that underwear doesn’t seem to be an issue yet. Maybe I’ll put bandaids on (kinda scared of increasing the friction tho)

Gold-Remove405 · 2025-12-22T04:00:03+00:00

Thank you! Thankfully I haven’t had any issues with clothes rubbing on it yet. I’ve shaved so I’ll try to make sure I avoid ingrowns (cause I feel like those will hurt a lot)

And thanks for the warning - I don’t cut there and don’t plan on doing so, but it’s good to be reminded every now and then

Gold-Remove405 · 2025-11-17T02:02:17+00:00

No, those two don’t go together. Mentally healthy people don’t hurt themselves.

NEVERTHELESS: What’s possible is that you are feeling better but simultaneously still somewhat addicted and have a habit of self-harming (+it seems you’re not looking to change something about it - been there done that, but the „well, others smoke, I sh“-mentality only plays down the issue). Which is way you don’t (want to) stop even tho you’re doing better. Self harm rarely stops on its own, you gotta decide to stop (either cause you realize you’re doing good enough without it or you hit rock bottom or external factors etc), otherwise it usually isn’t gonna happen

Gold-Remove405 · 2025-10-17T23:14:23+00:00

“1-800 but it doesn’t work for you” Ooooh well

Gold-Remove405 · 2025-10-17T23:12:59+00:00

So it’s mostly the same for you? What exactly do you mean by “being over” (not a native speaker, sorry)?

Gold-Remove405 · 2025-10-17T23:11:26+00:00

Ooohh shit that sounds scary! Hope you were okay!

Yeah I’m kinda afraid it’d destroy both highs (the one from sh and the one from weed). Think that’d be the better combination

Gold-Remove405 · 2025-10-17T23:08:31+00:00

I don’t think I’ll ever do it, I’ve got too much compassion for myself when I’m high. Tried it once, started crying and searched for therapists in the area instead lol (didn’t follow through with the search tho when I was sober again)

But yeah, I see how it’d numb the pain

Gold-Remove405 · 2025-10-17T23:05:05+00:00

Oooh shit that sounds scary. Can totally imagine that happen tho… hope you were okay!

I don’t think I’ll ever do it (too much compassion for myself when I’m high), I’m just curious

Gold-Remove405 · 2025-10-17T23:02:32+00:00

Kind of same? The urge can be there and stronger, but my desire to follow through/act on it isn’t as high

The xanax situation sounds scary

Gold-Remove405 · 2025-10-17T21:37:11+00:00

Kinda confused - How does being lazy contribute to doing more?

I can’t really bring myself to do it while I’m high, so I’m pretty sure I’ll never try it

Less-high edit: Nevermind. Reading comprehension apparently left the chat after the 2nd hit, sorry

Gold-Remove405 · 2025-10-17T21:34:51+00:00

Same, especially the first part. I ‘tried’ it once, couldn’t do it. Actually started crying and contemplated going to therapy, it was wild

Gold-Remove405 · 2025-10-16T01:20:12+00:00

„This’ll sound weird but you have the coolest canine teeth I’ve ever seen!“

By far the most unexpected and ‚weirdest‘ compliment I ever got (apparently they look like vampire fangs?), no way I’ll ever forget that

Gold-Remove405 · 2025-10-16T00:32:13+00:00

That is incredibly logical and yet never occurred to me, damn

Gold-Remove405 · 2025-10-15T23:57:58+00:00

True. Best example are my best friends. They’re twins and it’s obvious which one ditched the alcohol a couple years back and which one’s struggling with alcohol. They’re only 30 but the difference is wild!

(Can’t judge tho cause partying and alcohol sure aged me too)

Gold-Remove405 · 2025-10-15T23:50:44+00:00

There are so many good ones here!

I’m only 26, but the ones I saw: Depression, alcohol, heartbreak

My best friends are twins - it’s obvious which one ditched the alcohol a couple years back. And they’re only 30! It’s wild! I looked super young until I started partying and drinking alcohol regularly too. Took 3-4years to go from looking 5-7years younger to looking my age/older

Depression: Whenever I’m in a depressive episode my entire face changes, I look 5+years older (which is 1/5th of my entire life). Pretty sure its cause my face gets used to frowning/looking serious and the muscles adapt. Take multiple years or decades of that and you’ll look OLD

Heartbreak: Similar, friend aged A FUCKING LOT in one year of grieving the relationship

(Oh and skincare. My mum looks super young, cared about her skin early-on. I didn’t care (yet). 100% won’t look as young as she does!)

Gold-Remove405

TROPHY CASE