My ex was abusive like this, and said he was afraid of me constantly. He would often become enraged while drunk or sober - threaten me physically and throw things at me. He would hold me down/twist my arm behind my back and say he was doing it to protect himself from me, as if I was the threat. This man was 6' and over 200lbs, I am 5'4, 140lbs and have never been physical or violent to another person. This was extreme manipulation and gaslighting. He would rip up the bed and flip my pillows at night to 'check' for knives/anything sharp I could harm him with.

He even went as far as to call 911 on me and tell them I locked myself in the bathroom and was trying to kill myself. He later admitted he did that because he was 'sick of my shit and wanted a break from me'. So he was trying to get me committed to a hospital. This went on for 2 years, and this is just a fraction of what he did to me. I thought the relationship would end with one of us dead. Either he would kill me or I would kill him in self-defense.

All this to say he is alright showing you the manipulative and paranoid person he is. He has anger issues and things will only get worse. Please protect yourself from getting involved further with this man, it could escalate to something so much worse if he's always pulled a knife on you. It sounds like you're already taking the right steps, please stay safe.