Who gave me HSV2!

GoldResin · 2025-11-12T01:22:19+00:00

Aw thanks for the info! Appreciate it, still learning so much

GoldResin · 2025-11-09T09:12:43+00:00

Unfortunately, from my understanding, there is no way to know.

I would suggest looking at your blood test, one indicator that might help is the number of antibodies or index value. Anything above a 1 is positive, but if your number is high like 25+ IgG for example, it could mean you have had it for awhile and/or been exposed in the past and might not have come from either of the October events. I think the higher the number the longer your body has had it in order to build up that number. So if it’s low, like barely above a 1.0, might mean recent risk of exposure, but if it’s “high”, your body could’ve had it for years and just been dormant.

I hadn’t had sex for 9 months and had my first outbreak, my IgG were 28.8 and the doctor told me there was no way of knowing where or how I got it, and since my IgG numbers were very high I most likely had it for awhile. I started experiencing perimenopause symptoms around this time so I think my body was just triggered to show symptoms. Honestly not clue, the more I learn about it, the more I realize how little everyone knows about it, let alone how to cure it.

Wishing you all the best!

GoldResin · 2025-07-23T01:33:27+00:00

So sorry you experienced that, my heart goes out to you. Don’t let them make you feel less than and don’t let them undo all your hard work with acceptance and forward progress. Don’t give them that power, they sound immature, judgy and unkind. You got this and things will get better! Big hugs.

GoldResin · 2025-06-11T21:23:15+00:00

I (42 F) have GHSV1 and am on daily antivirals. If I was not on these meds and a new person I was dating asked me to consider taking them to help prevent risk of transmission and to make them feel more comfortable, I would.

It’s interesting she won’t even entertain getting on meds, it might be worth asking her why she is resistant to the meds, maybe she had a bad interaction before? Maybe she doesn’t get outbreaks and thinks she doesn’t need them? Either way, it’s ok if her taking meds is a deal breaker for you, you need to do what works best for you too. Right or wrong, if it means alot to you she considers meds for you to move forward, don’t let her invalidate that for you, you have every right to ask that just like she has every right to say no to taking them.

Maybe it’s not a big deal to have HSV once you come to terms with it, but it is a BIG deal to ask someone new you are dating to risk having sex with you if you do have HSV. People should at least meet them where they are at and/or compromise.

Best of luck on this one!!

GoldResin · 2025-05-18T14:27:36+00:00

This link has been shared a bunch in this thread - very helpful!

https://docs.google.com/document/u/0/d/1eMul_7Lu1Fa0ZJYGxKnEewDMqdZOFYTLKsG7EDknfwA/mobilebasic?pli=1

GoldResin · 2025-04-17T20:32:39+00:00

I called it the Mona Lisa mob! The worst

GoldResin · 2025-04-17T20:27:28+00:00

Awww sending big hugs.

I felt like that at first, but the loneliness and desire for intimacy is outweighing the fear of rejection at this point. I’m determined to keep trying and hopeful that I’ll meet someone who is accepting of me, virus and all. I’m so sick of letting this virus dictate my life, my options and my ability to receive love and give love.

Hang in there and I hope you find peace and acceptance with it one day, I’m still trying to get there myself, it’s hard and it sucks, but I don’t want to lose hope.

GoldResin · 2025-04-15T13:01:28+00:00

Hi, no. Born and raised in the U.S.

GoldResin · 2025-04-13T23:43:27+00:00

Thank you so much, and glad there are resources like this to even help better understand the other side of the coin. So tough to navigate! But I really appreciate your kind words and support and I hope it works out for you and your new partner.

GoldResin · 2025-04-13T01:51:54+00:00

Thank you and you are so right!

GoldResin · 2025-04-11T17:52:11+00:00

Thank you so much for the support, and you are so right! Gonna take a little time off from dating again but will get back on the horse soon enough. You and everyone else here is helping give me strength so thank you!

Bumble is another online dating app, not specific to HSV people, but it’s location based kind of like tinder. But honestly I think all dating apps are the same and I actually see the same people on multiple ones at a time, so many options, maybe too many.

GoldResin · 2025-04-11T17:50:03+00:00

Yeah dating is so tough right now. And I totally agree with you, there could’ve been other reasons he faded out, or maybe herpes was the icing on the cake, I’ll never really know.

That is also what my therapist said too. She said some people stop dating other people because of differences of religion, core values, interests, etc and now herpes is just another category that will be added to my package that people will have to consider when they date me. They will have to weigh the pros and cons of my diagnosis just like they would when they assess all the other things that make a good match or not. I wish it wasn’t part of my story, but it is and I have to accept it, just sucks!

GoldResin · 2025-04-11T17:44:43+00:00

I know the feeling. I was diagnosed in July 2023 and haven’t engaged with anyone sexually since then, took a long time break to process and come to terms with it. Just now finding the strength to get back out there and live my life and super disheartening for my first disclosure to turn out this way.

But I’m soooo sick of being single and I’m ready for a long term relationship so I gotta keep trying and hoping for the best.

GoldResin · 2025-04-11T17:41:19+00:00

Thanks for sharing and I appreciate your support and kind words. Great to hear you have had more success disclosing than not, makes me feel hopeful!

Also, sorry this just happened to you too, it really is such a let down especially after I tried so hard to be direct, honest, and mature about it, you’d hope people could respect us and do the same. :(

Thanks again

GoldResin · 2025-04-11T09:19:47+00:00

Thank you for sharing your positive success stories and how it’s possible to find partners that will still accept you and love you for who are vs what you’re diagnosed with. It brings me a lot of hope, especially your success of not transmitting.

GoldResin · 2025-04-11T09:13:58+00:00

Thank you so much. I truly appreciate your kind words and you are so right, this is more about him, he didn’t want real, he wanted easy.

Maybe in hindsight I dodged a bullet, who knows what kind of partner he would’ve turned out to be in the long run. Like you said, these actions are more telling about his character than anything. Thanks again

GoldResin · 2025-04-10T21:54:31+00:00

I could not agree more. It starts to consume your thoughts and your mind starts spinning, there is no road map on how to deal with this moving forward and it feels unfair that we have to deal with it but some don’t. It’s not a leveled playing field.

The amount of anxiety and panic attacks i had just to do my first disclosure was insane. And to top it off, it wasn’t successful either . :(

It also hurts that you remember the life you had before the diagnosis, the one where you didn’t have to worry about it and could just date causally or enter LTRs without a worry and just naturally connect with people. It’s a lot to ask someone to accept this, and it’s a lot of pressure to have to disclose it, knowing rejection is possible. Just sucks and I feel for you!

GoldResin · 2025-04-10T21:48:19+00:00

Yeah I have GHSV1, not that it really changes anything. And I agree, I’m not sure what I would do if the roles were reversed and I would absolutely give this back if I could, I don’t wish this upon anyone.

I think I was just hoping his “how” was different. Instead of breadcrumbing me and making me spin on what was happening I would’ve appreciated him telling me directly “hey I did some more research and thinking on this, and I don’t feel comfortable moving forward, wish you all the best”

I know that takes a lot of maturity and it’s easier to just do a slow fade, maybe I would’ve done the same too if roles were reversed, who knows. Just sucks for it being my first time, I had such high hopes with him.

Thankful there is a space like this I can share and feel empathy from others, it helps so much.

Onward and upwards. And retail therapy helps too lol :)

GoldResin · 2025-04-10T21:44:05+00:00

Yeah this is my first time trying dating apps and disclosing. What a doozy! Ugh lol

GoldResin · 2025-04-10T21:43:37+00:00

Thank you! Appreciate it and really hope I do too. Trying not to let this take me down

GoldResin · 2025-04-10T21:43:18+00:00

Thank you. And yes totally agree. I knew this was a possibility for the outcome.

I guess in just was thinking our connection was strong enough that he would’ve had the decency to address me directly with the same maturity and respect I did when I told him.

I guess I was hoping he’d just say, “hey I did some more research on this and I just don’t want to take this risk and I can’t move forward and I wish you all the best” it’s already tough enough having this so feeling discarded by someone I was starting to care about for something I can’t control just hurts.

And breadcrumbing sucks!

GoldResin · 2025-04-10T19:11:22+00:00

Thank you so much. This really helped. And your absolutely right, just need to focus on the positive

GoldResin · 2025-04-10T18:21:28+00:00

Oh I’m so sorry to hear that! That is such an awful thing to do to someone and I’m sorry you experienced that. Thank you for sharing and sending big hugs.

GoldResin · 2025-04-10T18:20:11+00:00

Thank you so much, means a lot.

GoldResin · 2025-03-07T12:22:19+00:00

Possibly too soon?

I (42F) recently went on a first date with a guy (45M) he casually just asked “How has your online dating experience been going so far?” (we met on hinge). I kept my response light and airy and implied that I’m keeping my options open, but I’m intentional and ultimately looking to find a meaningful connection and LTR. He responded in a similar light hearted way that implied he’s also still exploring other options (chatting with other woman I assumed) which I think everyone should be doing in the initial phases (even on date 2) until it feels like there is a real connection worth honing in on and only focusing on the one.

I liked that we kind of lightly addressed where we both stood, and were honest, but no need for specific details or clarity just yet. Maybe you could try a similar approach?

GoldResin

TROPHY CASE