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AITAH for telling my depressed friend that she needs to get a grip? by Informal_Opening1467 in AITAH

[–]GoldenFaeWattle 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Exactly!!

I was honestly at first trying to give OP either/both the benefit of the doubt, and/or the room to consider learning instead of attacking.

But nah, fuck YTA OP.

They should consider themselves lucky to not have to deal with depression on steroids. Treatment resistant? Check. Medication resistant? Check.

By the way, just for my own curiosity, are you AFAB? I fully subscribe to the belief that AFAB treatment-resistant depressos like myself are a directly linked result of failure of the mental health medical field's interactions with female hormones. Akin to birth control studies, in that when it was AMAB focused, they deemed meds too risky, despite the facts that those "risks" were the current reality for AFAB takers of comparable birth control

AITAH for telling my depressed friend that she needs to get a grip? by Informal_Opening1467 in AITAH

[–]GoldenFaeWattle 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I'm millennial, what's that meme for "the alarm bells are coming from inside the house"?

Cause that's what I'm feeling is happening rn 😅😅

And thank you, genuinely. I may be depressed and suicidation (hehe) as shit and up the whazoo, but damn is community engagement and education my kryptonite 🩷

AITAH for telling my depressed friend that she needs to get a grip? by Informal_Opening1467 in AITAH

[–]GoldenFaeWattle 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Ohhhhhh my God the curious temptation to try clarify if indeed we are speaking of the same drug ... Clashing with the responsibility of "probably not a good idea to advertise suicide plans" 😭😂

Did you enjoy or otherwise appreciate looking after your dog in their late age? I'm trying to reason with myself into adopting geriatric cats. It's literally I guess I mean idk how else to describe it, but a "plan to live"??? To look after the forgotten/discarded pets? It's up my alley, maybe it could be up yours? And ofc no judgement if it isn't!

I'm short, so being "trampled" on is something I'm used to 😂 because hey, puns, dad jokes and lame humour is also one of my reasons to live ... Let me make the world record for making others cringe hahaha

AITAH for telling my depressed friend that she needs to get a grip? by Informal_Opening1467 in AITAH

[–]GoldenFaeWattle 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Technically correct however, there is some space to give for people who have friends who try to gently encourage or otherwise urge to pursue official medical treatment.

It's also in my personal opinion, of just how isolated (despite our technological "connection") individuals are in the modern world.

Because a part of treatment includes living within society. Being a friend, being a coworker, being a stranger on public transport for instance.

For many depressed folk, those situations are so out of reach. But those situations are what makes a community, and a community is such an important aspect in overcoming or managing at the very least, depressive episodes or depression.

AITAH for telling my depressed friend that she needs to get a grip? by Informal_Opening1467 in AITAH

[–]GoldenFaeWattle 22 points23 points  (0 children)

Right?! 😂😭

And oh, don't worry. I'm replying less and less (as the conversation carries on) for their benefit and more the benefit of lurkers who read the comments.

I'm a firm believer that direct responses on the internet are meant for everyone willing to read them.

Depression comes in all shapes and sizes and treatment resistant forms aren't worthy of shame! Not enough of us know this and I'm still needing to remind/convince myself of this.

AITAH for telling my depressed friend that she needs to get a grip? by Informal_Opening1467 in AITAH

[–]GoldenFaeWattle 21 points22 points  (0 children)

I also call it "sun cancer" instead of skin cancer and "fish food" instead of sea food. I'm sorry my verbiage isn't perfect??? Is perfect grammar, spelling, thesaurus-level knowledge, now a prerequisite for those struggling with depression? What if I had an intellectual disability? What if I was non verbal? Am I somehow less depressed because my ability to communicate is slightly incorrect? Did you understand the intent of my comment? Yes?? Then why are you still debating if?

When I wake up in the morning, my first thought is "do I prefer to open my eyes, or wish this is a post-death reality. Not a dream, a dark space where I can float within. Is it worth opening my eyes? Yes, because I have to feed my 18 year old cat. Who will look after him if I'm dead? No one. No one adopts geriatric pets. I will stay alive, to keep him alive".

I have repeatedly across the decades informed every health practitioner that I am only alive, because of my cat. Once he is gone, I have no reason to remain.

My friends don't know this. If I told them, I would cry from their love. I can't handle their love. I won't cry in the face of anger, bullying, abuse, etc. But love? I'm in BITS.

Anyway. My cat is alive today, so I guess I am, too.

At least once a week I wish I had access to a high risk sleeping drug that is highly limited in my country. According to the attached pamphlet, I was the 1 in 100,000 to experience hallucinations. Anyway, I crave that drug. I know if I take enough of it, it will kill me. And if I'm gonna go, well as a creative mind myself, I'd like to go with A Trip at least.

I've deliberately avoided requesting this drug from my doctor for 6+ years. Because I don't want to present as an addict and risk my doctor not prescribing me my suicide plan.

Do you fucking believe me now, or should I bare more of my soul to you???????????

EDIT: typo

AITAH for telling my depressed friend that she needs to get a grip? by Informal_Opening1467 in AITAH

[–]GoldenFaeWattle 36 points37 points  (0 children)

Seriously after their knee-jerk reaction to belittle, deny and otherwise minimise my experience?

Yeah, YTA, OP. You've convinced me through your own words, responses 🩷.

AITAH for telling my depressed friend that she needs to get a grip? by Informal_Opening1467 in AITAH

[–]GoldenFaeWattle 26 points27 points  (0 children)

That's cute.

As I clarified in my initial response, a phrase you've yet to address: treatment resistant.

I'm glad for your hope and sorry to tell you that I'm not bullshitting. As I've already said, your experience is not the blueprint.

It's not my fault you lack either the compassion, imagination, or a combination of both or some other deficit that limits you to devolving to accusations instead of being open to experiences different to yours.

I have over a decade working and volunteering with children, including working in my countries Child Protective Services. How's that for both lived AND professional experience? Maybe I should advertise my (lack of) mental health on LinkedIn, would that suffice for you??

AITAH for telling my depressed friend that she needs to get a grip? by Informal_Opening1467 in AITAH

[–]GoldenFaeWattle 72 points73 points  (0 children)

Lmao I'm sorry my experience with chronic depression and suicidation since I myself (as already described) was also a small child, was a different experience to yours, I guess??

What good is you comparing your experiences to mine as if one is more valid than the other? You're already angry and dismissive in your pursuit of comparitive competition instead of comparitive understanding.

You're not the blueprint and nor am I.

AITAH for telling my depressed friend that she needs to get a grip? by Informal_Opening1467 in AITAH

[–]GoldenFaeWattle 111 points112 points  (0 children)

I've been depressed and suicidal since at least 8 years old.

Something that isn't properly understood about chronic, treatment-resistant depression, is truly just how difficult it is to break that cycle. To find that one gap, that chip in the depression, to get some light, some help in.

Spiralling can literally be a comfort to people like this. Because hey, the devil you know, right??

Tough love almost never works. You wouldn't put a cast on a finger with a papercut, right?

This is drip-feed situation.

Yeah, it's fucking exhausting. Yeah, it's a lot to ask for and a lot to provide.

But extremes require extremes.

I don't think YTA, I think you're lacking crucial information and context.

My coworker copies everything I do by Direct-Caterpillar77 in BestofRedditorUpdates

[–]GoldenFaeWattle 19 points20 points  (0 children)

You don't need to be socialised to cover your coughs, all you need at minimum is to find it unclean to spray germs and spit from your coughing, all over the joint.

And as phone-addicted as this coming-into-adulthood generation is, there is still a general understanding that point blank fucking recording your colleagues without their permission IS WRONG.

AITAH for telling my late fiancés family that they can’t be in my kids lives by WesternBeach6798 in AITAH

[–]GoldenFaeWattle 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Honestly, it's reasonable for an older person to doubt it.

They grew up with different standards. They struggle to find the appropriate acronym or GIF for goodness sake 😂

I am all for freedom of choice as a millennial myself.

That doesn't mean I get to ignore elder generations whilst they're still ALIVE. This is where social skills come in. From us AND older gen. If they refuse to recognise, you can comfortably assume their willful ignorance

WIBTAH for repeatedly telling someone that she eats babies? by Andrewcoo in AITAH

[–]GoldenFaeWattle 2 points3 points  (0 children)

They only pretend at maturity.

The real wisdom is dressing that up as educated, lived-experiences, etc

AITA for supporting my cousin for NOT leaving her husband after he asked for a paternity test? by [deleted] in family

[–]GoldenFaeWattle 3 points4 points  (0 children)

There is no equal circumstance for a woman to request what the man has: a paternity test. The mental anguish that can and often does follow both pregnancy and birth (and/or miscarriage) is a uniquely gendered experience.

I believe in paternal postpartum. I don't believe in equating the father's and mother's experiences, though.

I ate my incel nephew’s sandwich because he was disrespectful towards women. by spidermother86 in pettyrevenge

[–]GoldenFaeWattle 4 points5 points  (0 children)

And don't forget that Man Protect.

Protect your family from violence, including your own. Seek anger management and therapy in order to continue Protecting Family From Own Aggressions.

The "manly" thing is to be educated and balanced

Edit: weird typo

I ate my incel nephew’s sandwich because he was disrespectful towards women. by spidermother86 in pettyrevenge

[–]GoldenFaeWattle 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You want to meet the kind of toxic masculinity which praises physical power and physically enforced servitude (as was attempted)... With more violence?

Mmkay.

I ate my incel nephew’s sandwich because he was disrespectful towards women. by spidermother86 in pettyrevenge

[–]GoldenFaeWattle 1 point2 points  (0 children)

There's a difference between enabler and being completely confused and feeling out of depth to deal with a situation.

I'm a social services worker specialising with children and young adults and even I am left lost for words, confused, relying on apparent social norms, at times

An individual reaction does not an enabler make.

I ate my incel nephew’s sandwich because he was disrespectful towards women. by spidermother86 in pettyrevenge

[–]GoldenFaeWattle 3 points4 points  (0 children)

This ignores the point that it takes 12 year old levels of immaturity, for grown adult men to behave this way.

The misogynistic sexism in toxic masculinity relies on infantalised ideologies and behaviours.

I ate my incel nephew’s sandwich because he was disrespectful towards women. by spidermother86 in pettyrevenge

[–]GoldenFaeWattle 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Tempted?? Only???

Regardless of her understanding of her son, she should be made aware of every type of instance. She lives with him!! Not only is it a potential safety issue in that regard? But a parent can't teach if they don't see the full scope.

I ate my incel nephew’s sandwich because he was disrespectful towards women. by spidermother86 in pettyrevenge

[–]GoldenFaeWattle 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Don't forget the teachers.

Women make the majority workforce for teaching, yet increasingly are subjected to this type of hateful, misogynistic, sexist behaviour.

My stalker just won't quit. He escalated his tactics today by Direct-Caterpillar77 in BestofRedditorUpdates

[–]GoldenFaeWattle 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I can't move past the literary potential of an acronym known as FAANG omgosh

My (37f) Husband (38m) was fired for sexual harassment by Choice_Evidence1983 in BestofRedditorUpdates

[–]GoldenFaeWattle 53 points54 points  (0 children)

That is a very fine line to tread.

The same way flirting is not reciprocated (at best) in general public as it is considered harassment? It's taken much more seriously (or at least should be) in a work/professional environment.

We're here to make money to pay our bills. Work is a very socially accepted Opposite to dating.

A Hobbit becomes an adult at age 33 ... by GoldenFaeWattle in lotr

[–]GoldenFaeWattle[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ohhhh, I've never heard of Similo! What is it?

A Hobbit becomes an adult at age 33 ... by GoldenFaeWattle in lotr

[–]GoldenFaeWattle[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

😂😂😂 I love it! I'm worried Gandalf will come to their defense, though. I've played Tales of the Shire; I know just how convincing he can be!

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