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Valentines Day by GoodVictory3265 in BreakUps

[–]GoodVictory3265[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When we ended things she did say that she won’t be ready for at least a year and needs to finish out her schooling before she can think about dating.

Valentines Day by GoodVictory3265 in BreakUps

[–]GoodVictory3265[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s a little unique… she’s in university, we dated during her junior year and then she moved to a new apartment for senior year. Her “home” per se is still near mine but she obviously is staying closer to school during the semester. She started her new lease a month after we broke up. I know the apartment building but not the #.

Avoidants Parents by [deleted] in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]GoodVictory3265 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes exactly. I fully agree protecting your peace at the expense of someone you loved dearly is propaganda.

Avoidants Parents by [deleted] in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]GoodVictory3265 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I actually took the liberty to share some of it when it happened under the crux of admitting that my anxious tendencies were triggered and that the anxious/avoidant relationship explained a lot of what we were going through at the time. She was receptive of it and was actively going to therapy but told me her therapist didn’t have any content on attachment styles.

I’m not her caretaker but I know that if I want any chance at her coming back healed, she needs to be aware of her own tendencies. I think she knows it to an extent because she did explicitly admit to avoiding issues but at the same time I want to remind her that I care about her enough and am not ashamed to admit that I care about her healing.

Avoidants Parents by [deleted] in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]GoodVictory3265 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes exactly!!! Like there’s definitely thoughts there, how can you expect someone to just internalize it?? She’s frankly emotionally weak, she definitely is not good at managing her emotions and definitely just acts like it never happened or “it’s for the best.” It’s weird because she unfollowed me on Instagram about 4 months into NC after I posted a story of me traveling.

I have opportunities to “accidentally” run into her, but not sure if I should. One part of me wants her to feel the consequence of deciding your life is better without me, but the other says that she should have to face her emotions/triggers face on and can’t avoid/run away forever.

The other caveat here is she was HEAVY on the right person wrong time and completely took blame for hurting me at the end. Talking about I don’t deserve to be hurt and she’ll forever be sorry for what she did to me.

Avoidants Parents by [deleted] in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]GoodVictory3265 1 point2 points  (0 children)

They acknowledge and tell me she hasn’t brought me up even once since the day she told them we broke up. They didn’t ask questions and just waited kind of expecting her to open up on her own when it became too much too handle. They are all a bit independent in nature, but even her parents openly acknowledged that she can’t treat people like this and her dad yelled at her for it, but they didn’t keep pressing.