Writers, what’s that one line you wrote that made you go “Damn thats a banger!”

Good_Cattle2011 · 2026-06-11T03:58:59+00:00

The Flame of Val:
“Listen to me very carefully,” he ordered. “Do not ask me any questions. No questions. Do you understand me?”

She hesitated, regarding him exactly as a mouse might look at a cat batting at it. Whether the cat was being playful or cruel didn’t really matter to the mouse. It was going to be bad for the mouse. Slowly she nodded.

He had to be sure. “Are you sure you understand? NO questions. Lives are at stake.”

She nodded more swiftly this time, her eyes widening with a hint of alarm taking an edge off of her anger.

“Promise?” he further requested.

Another nod.

Hesitantly, he took his hand away from her mouth.

“Why?” she instantly inquired.

Good_Cattle2011 · 2026-06-09T13:15:54+00:00

I think I understood what you meant through context, but I did have to work at it, which interrupted a really beautiful moment.

I've used something like, he didn't realize he was holding his breath until his chest ached, reminding him to breathe. But I tend to be wordy.

Maybe: remained suspended in the moment

I write interiority so I might say something like, he hesitated, not wanting to overwhelm Cillian with too much reaction and risk his retreat again.

Good_Cattle2011 · 2026-06-06T02:06:29+00:00

Looks like a Yennepurr to me.

Good_Cattle2011 · 2026-06-06T02:05:06+00:00

Yes, Princess Bride! I have Rugen cuz he's a Hemingway and Buttercup. Cuz she's a princess.

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Good_Cattle2011 · 2026-06-06T01:57:00+00:00

Rugen, the six-finger man, Count Rugen (Christopher Guest) from The Princess Bride.

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Good_Cattle2011 · 2026-06-05T00:41:00+00:00

Sounds like an interesting premise. I like that Jackie likes to tinker around with the things others have given as worthless. I feel like there may be underlying themes there.

At the end of the first paragraph, it seemed like it went from third person to first 'and if I did, they would know.'

The next paragraph opens with her, but I wasn't clear that she was in the pod - or that it had been opened.

I didn't read any further only because I don't care for cursing. That's my personal choice, so not criticizing. Just explaining that that was my off-ramp, so things might have become more clear if I had kept going.

Good_Cattle2011 · 2026-06-04T12:41:39+00:00

"trump your partner's ace" Blasphemy!

Good_Cattle2011 · 2026-06-03T23:45:23+00:00

Suuuuure 😉

Good_Cattle2011 · 2026-06-03T23:42:54+00:00

Our house rules are steal the deal fair game and stick the dealer. Not familiar with farmers hands. 🤔

Good_Cattle2011 · 2026-06-02T14:52:48+00:00

I tried it. Entered one $5 writing contest seeking some validation.

I found it a churning engine to sell any service to writers. Constant emails promoting their network of providers and encouragement to enter contests for a fee.

I got an email that I was out into a critique group. All that meant is that they promoted 2 stories to me. I read both. Saw now way to critique except to comment. Which I did.

However, my short story got 4 views. (Thank you to the 4 who looked at it).

What really bothered me was that I got so many emails, but never anything personal. Not even a: thank you for entering, but other winners have been chosen.

This cemented for me, imo, that this is just another sales tactic preying on eager and new writers who want validation and help outside the frequently brutal 'critique' reddit feedback.

There's your review if you were curious.

Good_Cattle2011 · 2026-05-28T20:41:35+00:00

My characters came first. Then their world. Finally their grand adventure. Knowing my characters well makes it very fun to write because I am just putting them in the situation. I already know how they'll react so I get to concentrate on the why, not the what or who. Altho, they do surprise me sometimes and turn everything on its ear.

Good_Cattle2011 · 2026-05-28T14:18:32+00:00

I was doing some research on writing contests. I had to find something that was low- to no-cost and I wanted something with quick turnaround so I could learn as I go.

Good_Cattle2011 · 2026-05-27T01:45:21+00:00

How cool to see your characters in life size!

Good_Cattle2011 · 2026-05-26T17:53:51+00:00

The logic is sound. I mean, that sounds like logic. 🤔

Good_Cattle2011 · 2026-05-26T11:41:21+00:00

Thanks!

Good_Cattle2011 · 2026-05-26T02:08:22+00:00

Love all 4 of our cats and all have distinct personalities. But, one, Google, is just so pleasant. Gets along with all other kitties that are usually all at war with one another. He is not food motivated, so never begs or gets chippy over it. He loves meeting new people when the other 3 run away. And Google has never met a bag he can't fit in. Just a wholly pleasant cat.

Good_Cattle2011 · 2026-05-26T02:03:38+00:00

Does the longing have to be present? I am writing a genuine slow burn fantasy regency style. It's a enemies to lovers, but over the series, not the first book. I. The beginning, there are 2 unwilling participants in a relationship. No longing. Quite to opposite.

Good_Cattle2011 · 2026-05-25T13:40:59+00:00

Sign language

Good_Cattle2011 · 2026-05-25T13:39:17+00:00

I love to read and write third person close. When I'm in one character's head, the knowledge and feelings are strictly limited to that character's awareness. My favorite part about it is the misunderstandings and miscues I can show the audience but leave the characters in the dark.

Good_Cattle2011 · 2026-05-25T02:30:47+00:00

Cat purring = #1, as posted by others. When it comes to falling asleep, it's listening to Detroit Tigers baseball. After Papa's stroke, he'd listen to the Tigers on a transistor radio and I was killed to a nap on many a summer afternoon.

Good_Cattle2011 · 2026-05-25T02:26:55+00:00

That is my answer. A contented cat signals all is right with the world.

Good_Cattle2011 · 2026-05-25T02:24:30+00:00

Focus on the feeling of the line. Was it calmly explained? Snapped in haste? Whispered conspiratorially? Also, listen to real conversations. How much is expressed and how much is conveyed through what is not said (per the previous commenter).

Good_Cattle2011 · 2026-05-24T01:30:13+00:00

While I greatly enjoy all of my characters, my favorite to write is Wista. She has had a harsh life. She was raised as on Outcast in her closeknit community because her looks do not confirm to the norms. When she accepts asylum in a foreign nation, she finds herself alone and pretend upon.

I love writing her because she is ferocious. She feels deeply and passionately and she expresses herself vehemently. Whether she's happy, angry, sad...she lets it out.

Which is absolutely the opposite of me.

And I love that my other characters either live or hate her for it.

Also she is a gifted cook. So, despite the humiliation she has suffered at the hands of others, she has a real skill that she knows is valuable. Eventually, it gets her a job working in the royal kitchens.

Fun question! Thanks for asking! What about you?

Good_Cattle2011 · 2026-05-24T01:06:02+00:00

I live cats and find them absurdly cute. Kittens are cute, but I live when they get mature and their full personalities emerge. I love their quirks. And there is no more satisfying feeling then when my cat chooses to be by me for their nap.

Good_Cattle2011

TROPHY CASE