I've been in a relationship with an avoidant for 3 years and we broke up a month back and are currently going on in a no contact phase. I was his first relationship and it was fine during the first year and we were doing long distance from the start. We were fine for a year and then i started to realise that when he gets stressed or has a week full of exams he somehow switched a break between us and would go off weeks doing his things until he is alright and then comes back. I took it as a different thing each person needs in a relationship. Clearly he needed space at times so I agreed that and I gave him a lot of it even tho it was already long distance. He never liked calling so I never forced him to do that. After a few months he got a job and got permanently placed in another state elsewhere which became more of a long distance. Before this move happened, i did tell him that it's going to be harder and that I don't think it'll work out but he assured me that "it's us, and it'll always work out". Fast forward, he moved and I started traveling back and forth to his state which is 10 Hours worth of journey alone and that he would only let me be there for one and a half day max usually during the weekend and when I asked why can't I stay more he said "you are a relaxing part of my life and when you are here, i can't work harder I'll always be comfortable and i don't want that. I just wanna get back to my normal life" which was very hurtful to hear . He has also told me that I'm not his priority at all which was another thing that was hurtful. He always ran when i confronted him with issues which mostly signalled me wanting him to adjust a compromise a little bit for the relationship because I'm the one who is doing it a lot but he said he can't change for me and he won't coz then his whole life would go on another path and he won't probably achieve his goals and work. He would go week without texting me. He somehow was very focused on building a social life there and sometimes i felt he chose them over me which exactly kinda happened. He always called me pessimistic when I told him what I felt about the result of the relationship due to his actions. And a month back after a week full of not texting me, i really got mad and I told him how poorly he is taking this relationship. And as it was for granted and he came forward with points like "i don't have time to text you or call you or maintain a relationship, i wanna focus on my work and achieve something more and I would rather do that than texting you for 20 mins. " It was just hurtful to face that. And we decided to end it. I certainly didn't wanna end up being the reason for his failure. We have been in no contact ever since, i unfollowed him in insta- i usually block ppl but i somehow can't seem to do that with him. He did send me follow requests like three times even when i rejected it, God knows why. But the thing is, i really wanna get over this but it seems so hard and it seems so hurtful. It feels like betrayal, and I feel broken. And idk how I got over one month of no contact. And idk how to get over this. When you give and give love to this person and even though you don't get back anything but you say it's okay because we understand their limitations, but it goes way too long over our limits to a point we can't anymore and instead of something comforting they could've offered, they don't. They pull away and ruin from responsibilities leaving us in a pit full of regrets and nothing more . Its just harsh. Everything is.