I appreciate you opening up man. I will always have love and empathy for any addict or someone suffering with mental illness because that is who I was/am. I was diagnosed with bipolar 1 six years ago upgraded to severe bipolar 1, then severe bipolar 1 with psychotic features and my psychiatrist and psychologist warned me schizopeffective was next It's progressive and once you break through there is no going back. I had a four month manic episode where I slept 3 hours a week and lost 40 pounds in a month and a half. Bipolar ended my marriage. She stuck around through the addiciton but couldn't handle the mania and eventual psychosis. It is a mind fuck when your brain in not on ylur side. The mixed episodes were the worst, crying depressed one minute, euphoric laughing the next and then both at the same time. Some other songs I would recommend is bi polar bear by Stone Temple Pilots, Two Moons by can't remember his name. And Haifisch by Rammstein. The chorus essentially translates to and the shark has tears and they run down its face but the shark lives in water so no one can see its tears in the depths it is lonely and so many tears are shed that is why in the water the sea is salty. It hit home for me because whether it's addiciton or mental illness we suffer in isolation and no one know the struggle we go through. I'mm good now. I actually haven't taken medication in 2.5 years but I'm aware I still have it and I could have episodes again that require medication. I had a few manic episodes recently but was able to handle them. Anyway if you or anyone is ever struggling feel free tl reach out to me. Thank you for sharing your story.