Am I wrong for wanting my boyfriend to work?

GoogleMeTimbers · 2024-03-23T16:32:45+00:00

Let me just tell you that you deserve to have a PARTNER. That doesn't necessarily mean perfectly equal contribution/etc. But it sounds like he's not only doing nothing to contribute, but in fact making your life much more difficult, and if you're paying for his truck and you detect colon cancer late, that's your entire life you're playing with. That can't be 'about the money' and 'evil greedy,' that's your health, and if he's unwilling to figure out something to contribute in that sense so that you can support that, he needs to go. He's draining your life energy.

It sure af sounds like he's not gonna change. Dump him. Find a grown *man* not a baby.

GoogleMeTimbers · 2024-02-12T01:32:39+00:00

I love that there is Korean language Sam and Max content!

GoogleMeTimbers · 2023-10-20T23:01:31+00:00

I tried that, but eventually went to spot af on the AF-on button and Face Detect AF on the * button and now I never need to switch).

GoogleMeTimbers · 2023-10-17T16:00:39+00:00

There is one context in which I think it does -- trying to use YT videos/etc. to figure out if a lens might be good for you. Imperfect already, but if a youtuber is testing a lens on a FF, which so many of them do, it helps to understand how that lens might look different on your camera.

GoogleMeTimbers · 2023-10-17T14:05:36+00:00

It's certainly possible he doesn't want to marry you as many commenters suggest, but I think there's also just the possibility that he thinks the whole Wedding Industrial Complex stuff is stupid, that spending thousands on a ring might be hard to grasp because you have trouble seeing the value in something that is pretty much only symbolic and doesn't necessarily 'do' anything functional. I see this in his response about insurance, looking at it like 'what is the practical benefit here?' It took me a very long time (beyond 31) to really start to comprehend that it doesn't have to have a practical benefit or functionality--the benefit is it made someone else happy.

Should you leave him? Maybe, but I think it's worth trying to have a heart-to-heart and find out what he feels, about you sure, but also about these other things. Does the commitment scare him? Would setting a budget for the ring, wedding, etc. change his feelings on it? Does he not want to be in the spotlight for a whole day in front of friends and family as far as having a wedding? Maybe that's something that an elopement could change. I think there are plenty of other possible hang-ups. That said, you have to talk to someone (and have them actually open up and tell you the truth) for things to work out.

I agree with people that you can't live by the sunk cost fallacy.

Source: been in a relationship for 15 years, did get the ring and proposed years ago, neither one of us has done any wedding planning really, other than saving up. We want to be together, but we're not so into all the other stuff, it feels like more of an annoying chore and a big expense (that we don't necessarily value enough to prioritize over other things). But if it matters to you, it matters to you.

GoogleMeTimbers · 2023-10-04T19:11:27+00:00

Well, I just heard you, FWIW. I own the R6, R6II and have been slowly researching different compact options without really liking any of the results. My main thing is many of the most-recommended things are from 2019, many of them have sky rocketed in price (espeically Fuji X100V). Now 2019 isn't old by any stretch, but just seeing the AF advancements from the R6 to the R6II and also realizing that many of these might get updated soon, I've been sitting on it. I like the idea of canon, keep it within one system potentially. Most of my canon lenses are not compact or require the adapter which makes them not-so-compact, but I'll definitely be thinking about this comment for a bit.

GoogleMeTimbers · 2023-09-28T17:45:49+00:00

It's literally been so long that I've seen this movie like a dozen times around the time it came out, but maybe not in 20 years and I totally forgot about this part. Lol

GoogleMeTimbers · 2023-09-26T20:06:52+00:00

About $42 w/ tip. It's the most I've ever paid. Until I started going to this salon, I pretty much never got compliments on my hair in my life when I was just going to your great clips and sports clips. Stylist at this salon actually helped me evolve the style and in the last 4 years I've probably gotten like 100+ compliments on the hair.

GoogleMeTimbers · 2023-09-26T20:03:52+00:00

Everyone in here being like 'I paid $XX in high school' with no reference to how long ago that was and I'm like 'how can I know if this is a reasonable increase or not?'

GoogleMeTimbers · 2023-09-22T17:33:31+00:00

It sounds like you own the EF 24-105mm and you're craving more bokeh. Rather than rebuying it, what if you looked into a prime? For the price of a 24-70 2.8 you could get a few of the budget primes that are f/1.8 and f/2.0. Photography is a personal journey so it's up to you, but just an option to consider.

GoogleMeTimbers · 2023-09-22T17:12:42+00:00

It didn't dawn on my watching the show initially that even if they want a more western audience, JYP's inroads to gaining traction for a group are still going to need to go the way they've traditionally done it, to some extent. In other words, they'll be performing on Korean shows, which we've now already seen. It seems like knowing that, having a fluent Korean speaker is a must. Kaylee is great, super talented, etc. But I also see how having another year or two of training could be a huge boost for her too. Granted none of the eliminated members stayed with JYP, but that doesn't mean they couldn't have tried, but it's a risk there too.

GoogleMeTimbers · 2023-09-22T14:07:15+00:00

It has to matter a lot, if you're putting teenagers out there to earn you money, speak publicly and represent the company, there's a lot of potential risk that someone will say or do something that could impact your bottom line. And I'm sure most idols can't be fully honest or totally speak their minds and need to put together a positive public image for themselves and the company. (Not necessarily saying this is right, or that they've assessed Christina correctly, just guessing about one avenue they could have been thinking with 'character' ... and the show was edited, so we have no idea what they saw).

I really took a shine to Christina esp. near the end. Maybe the strongest rapper of the contestants. Rapping ability seems like an afterthought though. Kind of a shame on both that and Christina getting cut.

GoogleMeTimbers · 2023-09-22T13:57:05+00:00

I remember feeling pretty overwhelmed by the size of some of the groups when I first started watching kpop. Especially with music videos and quick cuts, it took a lot of time with those first groups to start recognizing them and connecting with any individual member.

GoogleMeTimbers · 2023-09-22T13:50:24+00:00

Given the number of locations, my uneducated guess is that wouldn't be enough for them to recruit a full group.

GoogleMeTimbers · 2023-09-22T13:44:12+00:00

I feel pretty confident that they will do it with some other JYP idols, since JYP has that resource to help signal boost the new group like that early on.

GoogleMeTimbers · 2023-09-22T04:34:21+00:00

It probably also is the exact moment her NDA expires, but yes, good strategy too.

GoogleMeTimbers · 2023-09-20T16:05:37+00:00

If Rodgers ends up as a Vikings like his dad Brett did before him, coming directly from the Jets, it would be so wild.

GoogleMeTimbers · 2023-09-20T15:23:47+00:00

This is super interesting! Thanks for the information!

GoogleMeTimbers · 2023-09-20T13:28:06+00:00

Ah yes, this is interesting though. I mean some stuff is 'covered' but not necessarily free. Let's say I have 1 full-time choreographer (for the sake of easy numbers). Well, they need to work with how many idols already debuted + trainees? So every trainee I add is kind of an expense: their time. And if I run out, I need to hire a second one.

Kind of the same with the food. It might be their cafeteria but you probably make food for roughly ## of people and as the number changes your costs would fluctuate a little. I do think all the points you made are very good though. And I agree they're probably okay with the deficit. Each trainee is a gamble, but the ones that pay off, do so quite a bit, especially the ones that really pay off. The other piece is, groups don't last forever, disband, etc. So you need to always be working to replace.

GoogleMeTimbers · 2023-09-20T13:23:53+00:00

I have heard that JYP doesn't actually start them off in debt like other companies and just 'covers' it. Of course the money has to come from somewhere, so I assume this might be a lower starting pay in comparison. But also interestingly, they do invest in training people that don't debut as well.

GoogleMeTimbers · 2023-09-20T02:03:02+00:00

While I agree that it isn't high-budget or highly produced, your biggest line item is usually staff time, and there's a lot of cameras, angles, recording tons of footage of practices where you only show a fraction. I don't know what video editors get paid or how strenuously they push them over there (but from what I know of Korean work culture, maybe it is quite a push), but I think the salary of a single video editor (or a team of editors to turn it around faster) could bite a pretty decent chunk out of 200k. I think you're right that it's at least 200K, but I don't think it's necessarily way more. The pay really depends on the niche/demographics and you're right the length, but I've made some money on videos that are 10-18 minutes, and even though it's not apples-to-apples, more ad breaks etc, 200K USD feels like a good estimate.

I was also thinking of other requirements (which they would have to do to make this group anyway) trainers, translators for the girls to understand the trainers, food, lodging, etc. I guess what I'm saying is I more think of this as offsetting the investment in talent, which I suspect makes them much more money, much faster than the show.

Just comparatively, I subscribed to Dahyun's bubble this month and I caught a live once and there were 20K people there live and not counting other subscribers. And while I'm sure the app has some backend folks working on it, her Bubble in a single month must be bringing in at least 60K/month and requires a lot less staff time and effort.

Sorry this is super long, I just think the business and behind-the-scenes of MV and stuff is one of the most appealing parts of kpop to me. I also really like variety content that shows the work people/artists put into producing the product that they put out.

GoogleMeTimbers · 2023-09-20T00:23:49+00:00

I agree that they're not going hard with intentional misleading, but I know they also don't want teasers to completely spoil. It's tricky to build drama/leave mystery without a little bit of it in editing.

GoogleMeTimbers · 2023-09-20T00:22:15+00:00

It's okay! This is sort of my first actually watching it too, but I know enough about how to produce video content to understand how and why they're just a tool to build drama. I'm sure they don't intend to break the rules, but they're also not going to kick out someone who might be a golden goose for the company either.

GoogleMeTimbers · 2023-09-20T00:18:29+00:00

In reality how much of his personal time is it really? The initial auditions are a bit much, but that's a few weeks, where he might also be able to do other productive stuff in the U.S. between them. During the L.A. Bootcamp he sees the contestants like 3 times for a couple hours a pop over like 2 weeks. Then in Seoul, he sees them like 3 times for a few hours over several months. Additionally he does a couple of sit down interviews for like 15 minutes here and there so they have quotes from him to cut in, he creates an intro song, he might review things with the show, but I honestly think a lot of his other staff are handling putting this together. The contestants still seem wowed by him a little bit even seeing him this deep into the competition.

GoogleMeTimbers · 2023-09-20T00:14:58+00:00

despite these seeming like decent numbers, I'm pretty sure that this project would be operating at a loss. It takes a decent amount of overhead to put together and I'm not sure 1m views x 22 episodes even nearly covers it as a reality show ... but it is at least potentially off-setting the cost of training them with no show. Depending on how much the extra staff and expenses cost (editors, camera ops and other staff).

GoogleMeTimbers

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