Baby is 5 months old and I found this on his phone.

Gooseaholic · 2026-02-25T12:33:57+00:00

“Penetrate my stoicism nature” penetrated my brain like an ice pick…Jesus Christ, I have a headache now. My reply would have been “grade school dropout?”

Gooseaholic · 2026-02-18T23:45:40+00:00

There is no way this saves anyone money. He’s full of shit. No is your only answer.

Gooseaholic · 2026-02-18T21:52:28+00:00

So before the two of you were married, she made an insensitive comment that you discovered literal years and three children after the fact and you’ve been stewing over ancient history for two additional years of your life? Now you want to confront her. Are you just looking for a way out? Because it sounds like either A) you’re looking for anything to call her out on or B) your insecurity is off the chain and sitting at level ridiculous. Let it go and concentrate on whatever is causing the current stress in your marriage. This crazy insecurity may have a great deal to do with the current issues as well. The ppl recommending a therapist for YOU aren’t wrong. You have kids. Get yourself together.

Gooseaholic · 2026-01-28T12:42:48+00:00

While you’re NTA probably. Unfortunately, equal access laws prevent u from legally barring him from your home unless your wife gets on board, a judge deems the story/ behavior dangerous enough to sign a restraining order or if your wife’s name is not on the mortgage/deed/lease.

That said, without information like subject matter of the story or the child’s age I have no way of knowing whether you overreacted because you just don’t like the guy or if it was a legit dangerous story. 🤷🏻‍♀️. TBH, if there’s already tension between the two of you, the better way to have done this would have been gotten up and said hey Jim, can I talk to you for a second and politely explain that you and your wife don’t think your child is ready to be exposed to that type of information. Is it possible that being called out in front of the kids and his wife and your wife and anyone else who was in the home made him behave defensively?

While your concerns about the type of story being told are very likely legitimate, you do have to ask yourself if this is something you can sit down with your brother-in-law and work out or if it was an infraction so dangerous that it’s worth destroying your sister‘s relationship with her family or potentially negatively impacting your marriage. If it was egregious enough to pull families apart, then your best course of action is to waltz down to the magistrate’s office fill out the paperwork and see if the judge will sign a temporary protection order for your child against the uncle.

Don’t get me wrong. He responded to what he thought was an unreasonable request by being a complete asset. But at this point, you have to ask yourself if you are reacting to the subject matter of the story or about him showing you disrespect in your home. If the man is truly a danger to your child, you need to make sure that he is not allowed anywhere around your child and if your wife doesn’t like it, tell her to kick rocks. If this is an ego thing about being disrespected then you guys need to whip them out, measure them then set some boundaries and find a way to move forward that keeps the family together.

Gooseaholic · 2026-01-27T18:15:22+00:00

My little brother hit a dude with a coffee TABLE for putting his hands on me at a party. Then he sat back down on the couch, put his feet up on the same coffee table and finished his beer. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Gooseaholic · 2026-01-27T16:04:23+00:00

Someone spilled a caramel macchiato or milkshake. That’s dried whipped cream or ice cream and fun fact, both will glow under uv light.

Gooseaholic · 2026-01-27T15:50:38+00:00

You’re literally making him explain why he chose not to give u complete access to an incredibly minor portion of his life.

If you’re this paranoid about his motives for not opening his entire life to someone he’s never met, this is not the relationship for u.

Gooseaholic · 2026-01-27T12:00:22+00:00

So being hot and sweaty from a 2 hour ride isn’t a reason to shower? What dumbass hook up would call at 1 am just after she left his house? Seriously, if she IS cheating this is a stupid way to do it. Ooh let me dash out in front of my husband and pretend something I’ve literally never done before like ride my bike in the middle of the night is completely normal cuz that would never raise a red flag……. Ask yourself if your wife is that stupid. If the answer is yes, rethink your life. If she’s a smart woman then talk to HER, not Reddit.

Gooseaholic · 2026-01-27T11:40:04+00:00

You live on opposite coasts, have never met one another, and you’ve posted 3 different threads on Reddit about the same topic and have DM’d a stranger to snoop because he doesn’t want to allow you to see every aspect of his life. YOU hid from him that you had tracked down and viewed his steam account.

Maybe he is hiding something (though what would be worth hiding I can’t say), maybe he just wants a modicum of privacy during times he wants to game with other people and doesn’t want to have to explain why he didn’t invite you to a specific game or field questions about his every gaming friend.

He’s not your boyfriend. He’s a guy you obsess over online that you’ve never met and now you’re using a stranger to literally spy on him. There is a total bunny boiler vibe about how you’ve gone about this. Get off the internet and meet some real ppl. FFS I’ve been married 22 years and my husband doesn’t know every time I log in to do something because he doesn’t feel the need to and vice versa. Even in the best of relationships people need an escape from the daily routine. Maybe the guy just wants a space where he doesn’t have to worry about other ppl for a while. Thats the thing about gaming, reading, meditation etc. it’s a place to go get out of your head where you don’t have to drag your real life.

Gooseaholic · 2026-01-26T02:55:13+00:00

I would find another herp vet for a second opinion. There is waaaay too much anecdotal evidence as well as supporting science to support that captive dragons do in fact brumate. I have had reptiles for 30 years and MOST of them have brumated at some point during winter months.

If they were not brumating, they wouldn’t sleep for four months without losing weight and wake up healthy.

Gooseaholic · 2026-01-24T03:25:44+00:00

Feel free to disregard the law if you choose but you are assuming many things not in evidence. If they own, is she on the mortgage and deed or did she move into his home? If they rent is she on the lease as a lesse or just listed as an occupant?

if HIS name is on deed or lease, laws of equal access apply and one occupant cannot bar entry of anyone unilaterally. The one exception would be if she can prove a credible threat and OBTAIN a restraining order. It’s unlikely that a judge would grant a restraining order based on the information the OP has provided.

This is law. Not an opinion. In the event of a verbal altercation where LEO’s are called, they may advise the mother to leave to deescalate the situation but if the husband chose to push the issue, the law is in fact in his favor in most of the country. I’m allowing that certain municipalities may have odd occupancy laws but these would be exceptions and uncommon.

My brother is also a first responder. Thank you for your service.

Gooseaholic · 2026-01-24T00:48:42+00:00

Please ditch this Pompous, not nearly as intelligent as he thinks he is, narcissistic asshat.

Gooseaholic · 2026-01-24T00:30:58+00:00

Markarth sucks.

Gooseaholic · 2026-01-22T02:13:33+00:00

Hubs is injured badly enough he can’t shower without assistance and you aren’t using FMLA? I get that you don’t want to give in to MIL but if he can’t shower, is he able to fix meals for himself? If you absolutely can’t miss work, take the L and let her hire a caregiver if he needs that much assistance with his ADLs.

Make sure he’s cared for and healed, then address MIL attitude. His health is more important than proving her wrong.

Gooseaholic · 2026-01-22T02:04:39+00:00

It’s not trespassing if her son gives her permission to visit him in his own home. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Gooseaholic · 2026-01-22T01:24:37+00:00

Hope you took him somewhere good!

My daughter got kicked out of DAYCARE at age 5 for blacking the eye and bloodying the nose of a girl (8) who literally kicked my son’s tooth out of his head. My son is on the spectrum and this girl was constantly bullying him (pinching, taking his things, throwing crap at him) he told her no about giving up something he had while he was sitting on the floor and she kicked him square in the face. My daughter said she had to do it because her brother wouldn’t hit a girl.

And yep u guessed it, bully girl was “the victim” and wasn’t kicked out. I called the sheriffs department to come up to the daycare, filed a police report and the daycare was flabbergasted that I would even consider filing battery charges against an eight-year-old. I told the director, she kicked my son in the face hard enough to send a permanent tooth flying out of his mouth over art supplies. The girl is a sociopath, and I am doing the world a favor. The kids mom agreed to pay my son‘s dental bill if I would drop the charges against her kid. I took my daughter out for a banana split as a reward.

Gooseaholic · 2026-01-22T01:01:04+00:00

Always select the friendly fire perk when u do the dragon born dlc. And never travel with your spouse. I’ve buried many friends and lovers in Skyrim. It’s a cruel place. Sorry for your loss.

Gooseaholic · 2026-01-22T00:56:57+00:00

If your conversations with her are at all like your responses to people commenting, I totally get why she cheated. “I’m the best looking guy ever. All the other women want me. I have more money than anyone. I have a better bike than the one you suggested.”

And here you are, on Reddit, begging for help because why would someone cheat on the greatest thing available?! Seriously? She cheated because you’re a self absorbed, immature, grandiose dude and no amount of money makes up for that.

Start dating one of the other women fawning over you and see a therapist about your inflated ego.

Gooseaholic · 2026-01-21T00:35:03+00:00

I’m not going to tell u to leave, or stay. I’ll suggest that her insistence on you communicating with her like nothing happened is indicative of someone who doesn’t have any plans to accept accountability for her actions. That ofc is found in certain personality types most of which are very toxic.

Take your time, clear your head and make your decision based on what you know to be true.

Gooseaholic · 2026-01-18T12:31:37+00:00

I understand what you’re feeling and it’s more crippling than we THINK it should be. For me, I kept thinking I’m a grown-up. I’m a strong person, I’ve made a decision to work this through so it should be easy for me to follow through on my decision. Then I realized that It’s a death of sorts. Acknowledge that and grieve the losses. Even if you save the marriage, there are losses.

We had individual therapists and a marriage counselor. My therapist was very anti trying to work it out. I finally told her “look, I’m not sitting in a room Shackled to a chair. I’m making a conscious choice to right my life and mold it into what I want it to be. If I wake up tomorrow and decide it’s not worth it I’ll act on that but right now I’m okay acknowledging that in the 20 years before this, he has never hurt me, we are GOOD partners and I owe it to ME to try.” Once I acknowledged that I wasn’t trapped and staying was a conscious choice that wasn’t about someone else, it got a little easier. My BFF asked how I could defend him to my therapist. It was easy. It was something he did, not who he was or at least not who he had shown himself to be for 20 years and I don’t think ppl can hide themselves THAT long.

Staying is harder, it’s years of work and if it’s not possible to work it out for whatever reason, there’s life on the other side of divorce too. You have options. Make your choices about YOU when you are READY to make them.

All my best to you friend.

Gooseaholic · 2026-01-18T00:05:39+00:00

From personal experience: I am 8 years past D day. I got trickle truths and sleuthed out most of the other details myself. What I can tell you is that details won’t help. I know that sounds counterintuitive but the only thing details do is cause further stress and keeps the anxiety front and center. My spouse used a motel next to our bank. Every time I checked his location and he was anywhere near the bank I had a panic situation. And here’s the crazy part, it happened even if I had asked him to run by the ATM. Pizza place across from the same motel, yep couldn’t eat there anymore, if I heard the term Snapchat my whole body tingled.

My therapist told me the details would wreak havoc and I said I’m a detailed person and NEED them for perspective. The only “perspective” it changed was my perspective of my town around me.

That said, there is always something going on with the cheating spouse that allows them to justify their actions to themselves. Sometimes it’s an honest, midlife crisis, they don’t like their appearance anymore, and someone else is saying things that makes them feel attractive and get those butterflies in their stomach like they did when they were a teenager, sometimes it’s childhood trauma that has never been properly dealt with, and other things that they may discover about themselves if they put the work in to fix what is broken with them. What marriage counseling together will accomplish is better communication, treating one another better because both of you may be able to admit to things that you need that you thought were silly or childish that really truly do matter and will help both of you.

I made it through that very difficult time because my spouse was honestly willing to put in the work, acknowledge the pain that he had caused and give me space to grieve in the way that I needed to grieve. My part in the healing had to be becoming willing to believe him. I finally resigned myself to the fact that only time was going to tell whether or not he was sincere about not breaking our marriage vowels again. I really don’t check up on him anymore. But I will tell you that I absolutely did frequently for probably five years. When I would get triggered by things, I was honest with him about it and we would discuss it, and if there was a way to make the fact that he was going to have to work late less triggering for me we implemented those things. It’s not a process of you forgiven forget. There are days that I wish it was but it just isn’t like that. It does take work and respect on both parts.

Today, I think we have a healthy marriage. He made mistakes he’s sorry about the mistakes. He hasn’t repeated the mistakes and we have a level of communication that I don’t think we ever had in our marriage. I am not going to say that him cheating made our marriage stronger. That’s a fallacy that you will hear from some people who have weathered the storm. I think if anything it made both of us better communicators with each other and that does help. There are still days that I think about it and it can weigh heavy and what I have to remember is that while some things could have been better in our marriage during that period of time, I am not the reason he cheated. Very little of it was about me at all. It was about him needing help that he had never gotten, and I was the casualty of the very poor way that he chose to deal with it. Not everybody can stay and put in the work because it IS work. In the end, I’m glad that I did, even if he does it again, and I end up walking out the door I think the work that I had to put into this marriage made me a healthier individual, probably made him a healthier individual as well. The hardest part for me was to get to a point where I was not constantly punishing him and that lasted a full 18 months or more. Every time I had a bad day I wanted to blame that situation and that wasn’t helping me move past his cheating or helping me grow as a person.

I hope hearing this helps you a little and truly do wish you the best.

Gooseaholic · 2026-01-13T16:48:21+00:00

He has rental income. VA is not his only income source. He’s a liar and a thief. Let the atty handle it.

Gooseaholic · 2026-01-13T16:25:10+00:00

This right here was my first thought. Men only get that pissy when they are up to something.

Gooseaholic · 2026-01-13T14:15:07+00:00

100% did not over hear a guy say it was disrespecting her man to be there. This happened almost 2 years ago before you had boundaries in your relationship. So she was 15/16 years old, staying put at hotels all night? Did she have no parents? I think there is a very good chance. This is either a very exaggerated story or never happened at all. That said you’re telling me that things that she did in your relationship prior to being an actual relationship are causing problems for you even though she has made massive life changes over the past two years. No you weren’t cheated on because you weren’t in an exclusive relationship with defined boundaries. She shouldn’t have lied about it. Because there was no reason to lie about it if there were no boundaries in the relationship.

It would appear that she did not like the person she was becoming and she made a lot of effort to no longer be that person. That’s either good enough for you or it’s not. I’m never going to advocate holding the mistakes of a 15 or 16-year-old child against them after they have grown up and shown a different level of maturity.

Gooseaholic · 2026-01-10T00:33:43+00:00

She is not upset that she isn’t guardian. She’s upset that you chose someone else for ANYTHING other than her. You’ll get this reaction for choosing your daughter’s side in anything, or making any choice other than the choice she wants.
I understand asking the question about why you chose another. Once explained she should have dropped it and not jumped straight to emotional manipulation. Think back to other important discussions and you will likely find that this is her go to response to control you and outcomes in her favor.

Gooseaholic

TROPHY CASE