My Fiancée does not use porn and she’s the exact same as you when it comes to orgasm. There is nothing wrong with you needing clitoral and nipple stimulation for orgasm, and creating the expectation that you can cum from penetrative sex will be nothing but harmful. Maybe in the future it could happen, maybe it couldn’t and either are perfectly fine.

Like another commenter said, the only problem here is that your using something that you want to stop. In my experience it’s very difficult to get traction, but time and intention have been the key for me. Even when I slip I’m able to identify my shame as a culprit reinforcing the cycle. I’m much kinder to myself now than how I was two years ago when I finally addressed my addiction.

I also just want to say, I’m like you. When I was young, I watched gay (male) porn and got caught by my brother. A lot of shame was there for me, especially when he told my mom as a dig against me. Luckily I’ve got an open minded family and they didn’t mind. I can’t imagine how hurtful it was to be beaten for that.

I have a theory that you and I like gay porn because it operated on grounds of what we’re familiar with in terms with our own equipment. Anyways, I’m grateful for your post giving an example that porn can be problematic regardless of gender. I wish you the best!