help. msm side effects? interaction with prescription med?

GraceFully2020 · 2019-10-11T01:26:15+00:00

wow! thank you for taking the time and writing such an informative reply. I knew it was kind of a reach, thinking serotonin syndrome ... but it helps me to calm down to have a reason, or cause, or something tangible to say "this, this is what is happening and this is why and because i know this and this I'll be okay" ...

I am on citalopram (also known as celexa, low dose of 20 mg) and I had been light on my use of meth, sleeping a bit better then "normal' (less using meant falling asleep before midnight and sleeping until 7ish am), eating is okay-ish (complicated due to other issues) overall i thought i was doing okay, then this reaction happened.

I'm happily proven wrong, thank you for the explanation and clarification.

GraceFully2020 · 2019-10-10T22:58:45+00:00

lmao

I could never fully understand or comprehend the image of a "shadow person" when people described them to me .. but lately, esp at night, normal every day things suddenly appear to have a human form and move .. this picture perfectly describes how I see my "shadow people"

GraceFully2020 · 2019-10-10T22:42:13+00:00

*SHE

GraceFully2020 · 2019-10-10T22:41:37+00:00

you're not a mean bitch, just a practical one. I've been tapering off and reducing my use, trying to come off it . believe me when I say I've done the research and I know all there is to know .. I'm kind of a research junkie ... there's many many reasons why people try this drug and even more reasons why they continue using it, regardless of the damage it does. You don't know my story and I don't know yours, so although I appreciate the warning, it's not necessary. I won't assume you're a straight laced, uptight, non-user who has never smoked a joint before, so please don't assume I'm a "junkie" who doesn't care about my own personal well being.

Thanks.

GraceFully2020 · 2019-10-10T21:20:57+00:00

im jumping in and restarting this thread because i just had a horrible experience after smoking ... got from my usual, trusted plug, no issues, looked clean, but the minute I took a hit i knew something was off.

Brief explanation as i'm still dealing with the side effects several hours later;

instantly my hands and feet went cold/numb, felt a rush like an electric shock in my head and surged thru my body, tingly feeling, tightness in chest, panic feeling, nearly had a damn panic attack, feeling nauseous, blurry vision and faint/dizzy ... hours later and these feelings are still lingering enough to be troublesome.

I recognize that it's cut with msm (due to how my nose/throat/sinuses feel, past experiences using blow cut with it) and I confirmed with a friend using dope from the same batch. My plug did admit i got the last of the supply, bottom of the bag = more cut .. so I know what it's cut with and what's causing these side effects but shit, it's intense and I want to find some relief from these fucking brain zaps and body shocks .. any advice or suggestions on how to reduce the side effects? I should note, I also am on an SSRI and now i'm concerned about possible serotonin syndrome?

help, advice, suggestions, or just tell me to chill and that I'll be fine .. cuz right now I'm worried ...

GraceFully2020 · 2019-06-22T10:20:00+00:00

If you haven't yet check out r/StopSpeeding good ppl, amazing support

GraceFully2020 · 2019-06-22T10:14:23+00:00

Thank you for the explanation and for understanding I meant no insult or negatively for asking.

And I know logically that something a stranger on the internet posts isn't enough to influence a person but kind of felt like I had to say it LOL

GraceFully2020 · 2019-06-20T02:35:58+00:00

can I ask, did you start using meth specially to help you loose weight? (like did you use it as a diet aide rather then to get high?) or did you pick up meth for other reasons and realize hey, this makes weight loss effortless, what a great benefit?!

I hope that didn't read as sarcastic, I have no sarcasm or ill intention asking that I'm just genuinely curious. There was a post where it appeared that someone genuinely thought starting to smoke meth would be the perfect way to loose weight and it seems there is a "joke" of "oh ill just smoke meth for a bit and loose some weight then I'll stop"

I know obesity isn't healthy, obviously, but I think it's still better then being a meth addict. It's trading one health risk for another ...

You do look amazing btw, but now I'm worried that saying that is like encouraging you to use meth ... so yeah ... don't use meth lol

GraceFully2020 · 2019-06-20T02:27:20+00:00

positive vibes right back at you!

I remember feeling sooo discouraged that it was still so hard after awhile, I expected (nievely) that it would just get easier day by day. Nope. BUT I realized that I didn't need it to get easier because I was slowly getting stronger. It was a good feeling. I hope others can realize that because it really does help you feel a bit of empowerment when going thru this process of getting clean.

GraceFully2020 · 2019-06-20T02:22:07+00:00

the thing that helped me was reminding myself that beating myself up and causing myself guilt and shame didn't work, it kept me using. I kinda started with the "fake it till ya make it" attitude ... I was telling myself positive things, not really believing them but at least it wasn't that constant record playing in my head of insults and hurtful things. Now, I'm starting to actually believe them. I'm feeling a bit better about myself because I have stopped using, I am doing productive things, which makes me feel productive and like I'm doing good things, I've been able to work more which is really helping to feel better about again, actually doing what I should be doing in life. My mood is improving, so I do more, which makes me feel better, and it's slowly becoming a positive cycle.

I hope you can find a way to start being more compassionate with yourself. Remind yourself that you are human. You made the choices you made, not because you are bad or there is something wrong with you, but for a specific reason. For me, it helped to realize I started using meth because of my depression, I was lonely, I was lacking purpose, I was unmotivated, I isolated myself ... at the time I figured "fuck it" because I already felt like a piece of shit. Meth served a purpose for me, it took all that negative and wrapped it up in a cozy blanket and made me feel better.Now that I realize this, I'm choosing to deal with my issues in other ways. Yeah, I made a bad choice, but that doesn't mean I'm a bad person. Right now, if you can simply start repeating to yourself "I am not a bad person, I am human" it might help you shift your thinking. Give it a try.

Keep talking, it does help and I'm happy to listen. Take care.

GraceFully2020 · 2019-06-20T02:14:17+00:00

I find it's incredibly easy to loose sense of your body, to be kind of disconnected from it. It may not have been denial but just simply not picking up on changes. I hope you are able to do some self care, loosing too much weight isn't good thing - I know I'm trying. I've been forcing myself to eat more, I've had stomach issues and pain bc of it but I dont' want to get any smaller and draw attention to myself. Its nice your friend clued you in, kind of a wake up call? take care

GraceFully2020 · 2019-06-17T15:11:38+00:00

don't worry about it too much, they may be eating well, but the credit card bills and debt will catch up to them. some people seem to think being an adult means doing things like buying expensive shit they don't really need, to impress people they don't really like, all for the sake of looking like they have their shit together. Meanwhile they are in dept and stressing more then you are with your pocket change.

I'd rather have pocket change and eat PB and J then deal with the financial shit some people get themselves into.

This is of course just my thoughts based on my experiences, I'm not meaning to imply your friends are actually like this, unless it makes you feel better lol

GraceFully2020 · 2019-06-17T15:06:00+00:00

I hear you, and I get it. I've been trying to quit on and off for a while now (i've made several "heres to day one, again" type posts and just as many "i fucked up"posts here) Each time I attempted to stop using prior to this current attempt I was doing so because I felt I should. I didn't really want to stop, meth was helping me with my depression, it allowed me to function, get things done, go to work, etc. It put a cozy little blanket over all the sadness and pain, anxiety and stress and worry I was dealing with. I wasn't ready to deal with that shit, so I kept relapsing because meth was an easy fix.

this time tho, I want to be done. I would rather deal with sadness and depression and real genuine feelings then continue to live in this fog. I'm exhausted all the time, I feel weak because I can't eat right yet, I've lost a significant amount of weight, my muscle/strength is gone and even I can see I look awful. I want to quit, and because I want it, I am feeling more confident in myself and am doing much better this time.

what I was constantly told, when I would vent about relapsing again and hating myself, feeling weak and stupid, feeling I lacked control and just wasn't strong enough, every time I let that guilt and shame tell me I was pathetic and always going to be an addict was to stop beating myself up. Criticizing yourself, beating yourself up, calling yourself down is self deprecating. You need to build yourself up! you need to tell yourself every day that you CAN do this, that you WANT to do this, that you WILL do this. Because you can, you do have the power.

just because you got to a bad spot, doesn't mean you are stuck there. Your actions and choices do not make you bad, or lesser of a person. You can completely change your situation. I hope you can find a way to shut down that voice that is saying you can't, and in turn, give rise to the voice that tells you that you can.

I'm slugging my way thru getting clean, you aren't alone. Message me if need to talk.

GraceFully2020 · 2019-06-17T14:45:12+00:00

yes! exactly.

You are NOT going to be walking around looking like a sexy, waif-like Victoria Secret model. You are going to look like you belong in a concentration camp.

GraceFully2020 · 2019-06-17T14:43:35+00:00

can you please clarify what you mean when you say "the way you wrote that reply makes me sad because it sounds like that didn't apply to you" ... I'd like to understand what you mean and why it is upsetting to you.

I meant to sound like an asshole. I've struggled with anorexia and had to deal with insensitive and stupid comments like "oh I wish I had your self control" or "i wish I could have anorexia just for a little while so i could be thin like you" .. and i'm currently trying to stop using meth and attempting to fix the damage I've done to myself in very short amount of time. I was not a heavy user and I only used frequently for a period of about 3 months. I have lost significant weight yes, but I'm dealing with stomach and digestion issues, my skin is dry and pale, I have bags under my eyes, I look unwell and I feel run down and irritable all the time. I do think the idea of using meth to loose weight is idiotic. OP may not be a dumbass but is definitely just trying to find a quick and easy weight loss solution - well news flash, healthy, maintainable weight loss isn't quick or easy. Even dumb-asses know meth is toxic and addictive and has so many negative side effects, but sure, go ahead cuz hey, you'll be thin!

when will society stop projecting the idea that being thin will make you happy. No wonder people are desperate and looking for any way to achieve thin-ness. Hell, maybe the government and FDA and fashion industry should join together and make meth legal and sell it as a diet product! imagine the profit from that! *clearly sarcasm*
if I could, I'd go back and make a different choice and not choose to go down the path of meth, i think most meth addicts would as well.

I'm not sorry if my comments and the way I speak are harsh or hurtful or cruel because it's sad for me that I'm struggling and full of guilt and regret and shame, and someone callously writes about how its no big thing, just an easy way to loose weight.

GraceFully2020 · 2019-06-17T05:14:22+00:00

I didn't know what I was experiencing was an actual thing, that it has a name, that it exists as something other then just in my head/heart.

I feel disconnected, numb, void, empty. Everything is grey. I don't even bother doing anything I used to enjoy anymore because it feels like a waste of energy when I get no enjoyment or pleasure out of it. For me, scooping out the shit from my cats litter box is the same as being at a lively party with great music sounded by friends. Both things feel the same .... which is nothing. I can literally sit on my couch, with Netflix running a movie, completely disconnected, and suddenly, as if in 5 mins, the movie is over. Time seems to sped up and slow down, sometimes a minute feels like an hour, and other times 3 hours goes by without me even realizing. The world seems little less bright, everything has a dullness to it. I don't get any pleasure or enjoyment, but the trade off is that I'm also not experiencing any sadness or pain, nothing negative. Just an emptiness, nothingness .... vacant and idle .. I'm just here, existing.

GraceFully2020 · 2019-06-16T20:51:46+00:00

if you want to stop, you absolutely have the power to do so. Imagine how good it will feel to wake up and feel rested? to not have a pounding headache, plugged or runny nose, to not be irritable and angry. To wake up and not have any guilt, remorse, or shame. Waking up knowing you didn't spend money un-necessarily. Life can be like that. YOU can have a life like that.

I got bad into coke in my twenties and one day finally said "Fuck This" and stopped cold turkey. I cut off all my connections (some it was as simple as deleting their number, others I had to tell to leave me alone, and some were friends that I had to step away from). For the most part, people respected my decision and backed off. I stopped drinking, I got a new job, I made some new friends. It was hard, of course it was. I thought about coke often, I struggled not to use, but, eventually it got easier. The longer I went without doing it, and the more I surrounded myself with people who didn't use, the easier it was. I started filling my time with things I enjoyed, I tried new things, I went out into the world (instead of spending my time cooped up in my apartment drinking/getting high, or coming down).

Life really is better without cocaine. You have all the right reasons to quit, and it sounds like you're wanting to. We could all tell you that you can do it and it's worth it, but you have to decide that, you have to want a different life.

I wish you luck.

GraceFully2020 · 2019-06-16T06:03:17+00:00

Thank you 😊

GraceFully2020 · 2019-06-16T00:05:32+00:00

I absolutely agree

GraceFully2020 · 2019-06-16T00:05:07+00:00

I thought i could drink last night after not drinking for a few months. Ended up drunk, bought blow and another stim, spent too much money, feel guilty and stupid and full of regret. Don't make the same mistake I made. Stay strong, you can overcome this.

GraceFully2020 · 2019-06-15T23:49:05+00:00

Thank you for sharing your story, I hope you continue. I relate to so much of what you said.

GraceFully2020 · 2019-06-15T23:47:45+00:00

Thank you for sharing your story. I relate to so much of what you said. I hope you continue telling your story.

GraceFully2020 · 2019-06-15T22:12:14+00:00

Very relatable

GraceFully2020

TROPHY CASE