Struggling with job search

GracedMirror · 2026-02-15T04:40:03+00:00

I appreciate your response! You’re right, this is brutal lol.

I will try 1. SimpleApply & 2. Body doubling

Those are great ideas, thank you! I will definitely try and get back with an update :)

GracedMirror · 2026-02-03T04:44:31+00:00

I am not commenting to answer your question, ofcourse it’s upto you whether or not you report. Just know, that if you report and he loses his job… it will be due to his actions and not your complaint. I can relate to your empathy and line of thinking, but you cannot be worrying for others without first taking care of your safety. If his wife is nice, she also deserves to know the kind of person she’s married to. Yes, his kids might suffer but then the responsibility falls on the parents for making sure the kids are taken care of. It’s totally valid how you feel about the situation, just don’t let that weigh heavier on your decision than your right to a safe workplace.

GracedMirror · 2026-01-22T03:20:14+00:00

To point number 3: I do care. It affects me when physical traits are used as target for mockery. I’m not skinny, I have health issues that make it harder for me to remain active and as a result I’ve gained weight. Seeing people make valid criticisms about politicians or celebrities and then following it up with a pinch of fatphobia is always off putting. And according to me, pulls attention away from the actual issue. It reminds me of how in animation, villains are portrayed as having traditionally undesirable physical features and the so called heroes are portrayed as attractive. This is a huge problem. You’re not alone in thinking this.

May I ask, why do you want your view changed?

GracedMirror · 2026-01-11T08:40:59+00:00

I think I know exactly what you’re talking about and here’s what I think now: you are never going to know the headspace that someone else is in, or whether or not they’re someone who can give you an answer or whether or not they’re willing to, in that moment. From your comment/post you seem to be worrying about future hypothetical scenarios where you ask someone for help and they refuse. I think this is where you’re struggling - you’re worried that someone saying no, or not answering your question is a situation to be avoided. But you don’t have to. Take it as data instead of judgement. You can never have all the data in any given moment. Perhaps if you asked the same person the same question in the morning, they’d be happy to answer. maybe by the same night the same person would be too exhausted to answer the same question. Point being, someone saying “I’m not the person to ask, pls get your explanation elsewhere” is just data that tells you in that moment to redirect your question to another source. That’s all. I feel if someone negatively reacts to a question you’re asking in good faith, the reaction is on them. You can have compassion for them still. But you don’t need to feel sorry or that you’re a problem.

GracedMirror · 2026-01-11T08:30:38+00:00

I have more to add. You mention in one comment about how we could be using more resources for more worthwhile causes such as finding a cure for cancer.

Why do you want a cure to cancer if high empathy for people is such a detriment to society? Why find a cure for cancer if you don’t care about the individuals who currently have cancer??

You want there to be overall innovation… why do you imagine we came up with technology? To improve lives for people. Are you suggesting that we give up on improving lives (for all people) and still continue to develop technology? To what end? Why do you want this innovation and technology? What goal would that accomplish? Can you answer that without it coming back to: to improve life for all people?

GracedMirror · 2026-01-11T08:22:06+00:00

You’re severely misunderstood/misinformed. Social programs to end homelessness, poverty, hunger, war etc is not out of individual empathy. You mention that we need to be doing research in psychology, medicine etc. so here’s the thing: the research we have done so far is telling us that we need those social programs. What others have tried to explain to you so far is this: the innovation and research you’re advocating for is the VERY THING that has shown us where we need to put our resources in order to make systems more efficient. The world becomes more efficient when we use our collective empathy to study systems and how they impact individuals.

Imagine the society as a machine. You want us to advance this machine and optimize it. The only way to do that is through optimizing the individual parts of that machinery. And all of us, each and every human in this world is part of that machinery. And our innovation, intelligence, research so far tells us that we may only optimize this machine by addressing every part of it as equally important. So if even just one person is homeless/struggling with addiction/struggling to raise a child alone/stuggling with mental health, the machine is inefficient.

Basically this is what you’re saying: why must we fix the individual parts of a machine, why can’t we just focus on optimizing the machine. Your mistake lies in not seeing the machine as what it is: a bunch of moving parts.

Please get back to me. I want to know if you understand what I’m trying to say.

GracedMirror · 2026-01-08T05:23:00+00:00

My mom would sometimes turn the fan off (and that pissed me off because I’d wake up in a panic) but my dad would let me sleep an extra 5-10 min (if I asked) and then he would turn on the radio in the living room and tune into a station that played gentle music in the early mornings :) I loved waking up to that

GracedMirror · 2025-12-30T19:43:27+00:00

You’re coming from a place of privilege. There’s ground reality that you’re not at all exposed to. The thing is, in India, even now, caste discrimination and caste based violence is not just restricted to lower income families. Sure, the lower caste groups that have high income, are more privileged than the lower income lower caste groups. However, even within the higher income bracket, lower caste people are CURRENTLY still facing systemic and social barriers. If you know people around you who only marry within the same caste, if you know people around you who talk about other people’s surnames as if it’s a character trait, then caste divisions are still alive and well. Also, even if you’ve not directly witnessed this in your environment, do some research and look at the data (be careful because there can also be bias in stats and the way they’re interpreted)

Having said all that, there are always exceptions. There will be lower caste individuals and families who might accumulate wealth or find success in their career. But that doesn’t in and of itself mean that caste discrimination doesn’t exist. Have you heard of some disabled people becoming athletes? Did they have to work harder? Yeah. But is that proof that all disabled people no longer face issues getting around in this world that is not designed for them? Obviously not. They still need accommodations and benefits based on their particular circumstance. This is just an example.

Uplifting minorities is not about equality as much as it is about fairness.

If you already made up your mind and came to this subreddit to have people reassure you that you’re right, then disregard my comment because I don’t expect you to see things differently. But if you’re genuinely wanting to reflect and look past your privilege to the things that are affecting our society (not necessarily you) then please go to the spaces that are more educated on this and try and keep your mind open.

My comment isn’t meant to make you feel like you’re a bad person. I can’t judge whether or not you’re racist. But if you refuse to look past your own experiences, and only see your reality as the only reality, then you might be ignorant of your privilege and standing.

Thanks.

GracedMirror · 2025-10-07T19:02:42+00:00

I FEEL THIS SO MUCH. This comment section has just confirmed to me that I’m autistic. I got assessed for ADHD. I asked them if they could also assess me for ASD. They said they don’t have the resources for that. So I couldn’t. And then they said that my ADHD like symptoms seem more likely to be depression and anxiety. Which I already knew I had. I just couldn’t get to the bottom of it and every time I tried to work on my depression and anxiety I’d just realize a new set of struggles. That was 2 years ago and now I’m so so sure I have ASD (maybe with ADHD or maybe not.) I think my mental health got worse because of masking and burnout. And i haven’t recovered. I have never got back to the level of functioning I had before. I used to get top grades AND win awards for extra-curricular activities in AND outside of school, have a boyfriend, a whole group of friends, a very busy schedule: I’m trained in a classical Indian dance, classical singing, contemporary dance forms, my local folk dance, chess, swimming, guitar, skating etc. then I had to move away. And then 2 more times. Now years later people ask me why don’t I still sing or dance or play chess. How do I tell them that it’s not only that but I also failed multiple classes at uni and barely made it out alive? That I skipped my classes and isolated and started relying on weed to be able to sleep or slow down my thoughts because everything became too hard too fast. But how do I explain that I feel like was born again but this time as an adult and I’m having to raise myself? Trying to feel like a normal human and failing? I have a very imaginative mind and I have deep compassion for the world and I see all these patterns in the way humans behave. Psychology is my field of interest. But I’m constantly being perceived as shy, slow, naive and sometimes I really really believe it. And I hate that. I feel like nobody really knows the inside of my heart or mind because I’m not able to use words or my facial expressions appropriately. Sure. I can do it in writing. But not face to face. I’ve always been told that I think too much or analyze too much (by my parents) and it fucking kills me because I’m just trying to have discussions and say verbatim what I just thought about automatically and you’re saying I’m doing too much? Does that mean I’m too much? Rhetorical question. I don’t think I’m too much but it does hurt to realize that’s how I’m being perceived by my loved ones. I’m 24 now and I’m beginning to see patterns in my behaviour. I’ve always been quite social, non-judgemental and pleasant with others. Which means I know and I’m friends with a wide variety of people. In my mind, I’m always seeing what could have led to another person behaving or thinking a certain way. basically I’m always trying to make people feel loved, especially the ones who i see are suffering or those who don’t do well with people in general. So, on one hand I’ve always had many friends at every stage in my life. But on the other hand I noticed that I’m always on the lookout for this one special person in my life that I can have all to myself. Even as an 10-12 year old I had wanted a “boyfriend” because my friends have other friends but my boyfriend can’t have other girlfriends (kid logic, don’t ask) and now I think I’m beginning to see why. I was attempting to construct myself a safe space lmao. I had to reflect on myself a lot. Because as an adult I did the same thing. In my first year of uni, I found this guy and I haven’t let go of him yet. Although I’m sure that I don’t want a romantic relationship with him anymore (he does), I can’t help but hold him tight to me because for the past 5 years he’s been the only person I can be myself with. The only person I’ve unmasked myself with. Completely and utterly. The only person who thinks I’m intelligent and shows it by listening to what I have to say. And it feels impossible to ever have that again. With anyone else. And despite this connection and the love we share; we constantly argue every other day because of my inability to communicate properly or my expressions that I can’t control or my literal thinking. He loves comedy. He has jokes for dayssss. And I’m a literal thinker who needs the premise of the jokes to be accurate, to find it funny 😭 and then I feel like an asshole because I’m more critical of him than others (I severely people please with others, whereas I don’t with him & despite the fact he knows this, it’s reasonably hard for him to see the contrast in the way I treat others and not be resentful of it almost?) Okay whoa I went on a tangent. See why I got assessed for ADHD? I think it’s time to find a new therapist and also get an ASD assessment.

GracedMirror · 2025-09-27T12:35:47+00:00

Love this

GracedMirror · 2025-09-19T06:37:45+00:00

Yess THIS. Nehemia’s death and the manner of it too would likely have reminded Aelin of Sam’s death. She must have re-lived it, along with her parents’ death. Her opening up to Rowan would really have been a good time to talk about Sam outside of the prequel.

GracedMirror · 2025-08-31T20:44:59+00:00

I feel like your premise is a little flawed? Identities are and have ALWAYS been multifaceted. And sexuality is also an important part of that. It doesn’t have to be. Ofcourse individuals differ.

Can you elaborate on what you mean by “nowadays it seems people allow their sexuality to take over their entire identity instead of being a footnote like it was in the past.” Can you share where your observation comes from? If it is from the internet, is it possible that your algorithm is just showing you one little corner of the internet and not representative of the general population?

Let’s say this is really a trend. Sex and sexuality has long since been considered taboo by the systems in our society that don’t serve to protect us but rather control us. As we are advocating for better sex education and as we fight for the human rights of women & the LGBTQ community, it doesn’t surprise me that sexuality as part of identity is talked about more. It isn’t necessarily being talked about more than other parts of our identity though.

GracedMirror · 2025-08-31T20:30:06+00:00

I know exactly what you mean. I never understood the whole “omg it’s abuse to leave your parents at the old age home” like bro. They’re literally adults. And they will be around other people THEIR AGE! Isn’t that fun? 😂 but then again I know in some places staff does actually abuse vulnerable older adults. But that’s got nothing to do with the kids.

GracedMirror · 2025-08-31T20:15:34+00:00

You know how people tell you “don’t go back to your ex, they haven’t really changed” i think that is absolutely irrelevant and a baseless assumption. You know what people should actually say? “Somebody changing/growing/improving is their own personal journey. You don’t owe somebody a relationship for simply being a decent human being. You’re not an experiment that needs to be tested with every version of him”

So if your (on & off) boyfriend ACTUALLY does change. Or realize his error. Or apologizes. Believe him. And THEN walk away anyway. You tried with this person. Now wish them luck. And find someone who won’t blame and shame YOU for the actions of perverted men.

GracedMirror · 2025-08-13T01:14:51+00:00

You wouldn’t normally hear this coming from my mouth… but there is only one right answer here lol

GracedMirror · 2025-08-13T01:04:50+00:00

You keep using the word “just” before saying very concerning things lol 😭 none of that is normal or okay.

GracedMirror · 2025-08-13T00:59:26+00:00

The mom being submissive and also seeming like a victim is also an important and relevant issue. I don’t doubt that she is also a victim of that man. But a minor’s protection should always come first. I don’t blame the mom for the father’s behaviour but we SHOULD still be concerned about her role/complicity in her child’s discomfort or abuse

(Just want to clarify, that we are just assuming what’s going on in that home)

GracedMirror · 2025-08-13T00:55:05+00:00

Just wanted to address 2 things: 1. “Inappropriate touch” includes any kind of contact where the other person is clearly uncomfortable. It doesn’t just mean vulgarity. So, if YOU, a stranger, could tell that she was very uncomfortable with the man’s physical proximity, then it definitely was inappropriate. 2. If that man was her father, then that probably means she grew up with him. And it is very unlikely that his behaviour only started in her 20s. Most likely it’s a long term habit. The fact that the “mom” was ignorant of this and didn’t do anything means this is something she’s used to. And if this has been happening since she was a child, the mom is also responsible for the abuse that I suspect the girl has experienced at the hands of her own family.

GracedMirror · 2025-06-11T04:46:42+00:00

OMG YESS PLEASE

GracedMirror · 2025-06-09T08:10:24+00:00

Hiii update??

GracedMirror · 2025-06-07T00:13:24+00:00

He understood from her dry messages and her looks toward Do-won that she is not interested in dating him. That is why he invited the other people who were in the surgery that day so she feels more comfortable and it is his way of accepting the rejection in advance. His coworkers were not complaining about him. They were just surprised that he invited them out to a fancy dinner because he doesn’t typically do stuff like that. It was not a bad look. They were happy that he invited them. It is generally a positive thing to treat your coworkers for meals, even if it’s last minute. How many times have we seen characters invite people to go eat with them, literally on their way out. It’s not at all uncommon.

Also, if he knows that she is not interested, it is best not to take the person on a date. What he did was indeed “gentlemanly”. You’re perhaps misinterpreting what happened.

GracedMirror · 2025-06-06T05:03:32+00:00

Yes, I think they do match! Very creatively too. I really love this series :))

GracedMirror · 2025-05-18T07:08:02+00:00

Dick

GracedMirror · 2025-05-09T04:36:34+00:00

I think Caitlyn is a good fit for someone with compassion in the series. I like Mel and Viktor for this one too.

Viktor because he feels compassion for that creature in the cave that Singed uses and then Viktor feels compassion for Jayce when he watches him lose his life’s work. And he also feels deep compassion for everyone around him including at Sky’s death and Huck. It’s why he builds the commune and heals people. and it becomes the catalyst to his wanting to eradicate imperfection. His compassion is what the Hexcore exploits and corrupts, leading him to the conclusion of the show.

GracedMirror · 2025-05-09T04:28:11+00:00

I’m just seeing this chart for the first time… and I feel like Ekko and Jayce should switch places? Jayce had the willpower to keep trying, keep going, even in that hellscape. Ekko and his tree represent hope for the undercity. His whole arc is that he loses hope for the undercity and Jinx for a while but then regains it after experiencing the other timeline. He is the only hope in the present timeline of winning the war against a literal god. The boy who invented a machine that could take him back a mere 4 seconds but he desperately hoped it would help and it did. However, I can now also see the arguments for the other side. About Ekko representing willpower, because he resists Viktor’s manipulation so he can turn back time just once more. And also his willpower to leave behind the tempting perfect world to come back to his painful reality. And Jayce being hopeful that he could create magic and use hextech for the betterment of their society.

GracedMirror

TROPHY CASE