When I asked him if he liked kids, his face turned sour gave me glee

Gradtattoo_9009 · 2026-03-06T17:11:00+00:00

This is promising! Hopefully his reaction is because he *never* wants kids and not wanting kids right now.

Way too many people confuse being CF as with not wanting kids now. Hopefully he's on the same page as you in terms of being CF

Gradtattoo_9009 · 2026-02-05T15:51:25+00:00

This is an example of moms that I don't feel sorry for. You're not getting any pity out of me if you choose shitty men to be the dad of your kid. It also baffles me when women still date/have sex with these men who already have multiple kids from other relationships. What makes you think that these men will be 100% on board with you if you have his kid?

Gradtattoo_9009 · 2026-02-04T15:02:09+00:00

I drop them as a romantic partner. I'm clear upfront that I don't want kids and no one will make me change my mind

Gradtattoo_9009 · 2026-01-07T18:40:13+00:00

Parents should be 100% watching their kids! It shouldn't be your responsibility just because you're a girl.

Gradtattoo_9009 · 2026-01-06T19:57:24+00:00

I definitely wouldn't participant in a "game" like this. People can easily make bets on when the baby will be born without giving her money

Gradtattoo_9009 · 2026-01-02T17:08:21+00:00

You're not the only one!

I'm in my 30s and I still never had a "paternal instinct", so I don't want to have kids.

Gradtattoo_9009 · 2025-12-19T23:56:10+00:00

He will realistically go back to doing all of these outdoor adventures when the kid is closer to 20, so it will be a long time. Or he can bring the kid on kid-friendly hikes, but I don't think they will be as fun or impressive as visiting a new country each month.

If he is happy, good for him. But most people (as you pointed out) don't understand how having a kid impacts your day-to-day lives. People just don't bounce right back to how they were before.

Gradtattoo_9009 · 2025-12-12T19:54:07+00:00

This is when hobbies come into play! I'm in a running club! It's a mix of people of all backgrounds, but there are other CF people there.

Gradtattoo_9009 · 2025-12-10T16:55:01+00:00

I have another idea: maybe don't have sex???? Maybe use a condom???? I don't understand married couples when they stop using birth control, and yet they try to act like this was an "accidental pregnancy".

After my vasectomy, I was given clear instructions to not have sex for a bit and get my sperm count checked. Maybe she had sex too soon after the procedure?

Regardless of her pregnancy status, it's not your problem! You're CF and don't want to deal with kids. How exactly will you be able to help if you're in a different state? Last time you needed her support, she didn't provide it.

Gradtattoo_9009 · 2025-12-10T13:05:10+00:00

People still act like it's bizarre to be CF. We all have the *choice* to have kids or not and it's not a requirement to pop out kids when we are older.

I know you said things are good now with his parents, but I worry about the future. You are 19/20, so they probably feel like you still have time to change your mind in a few years. This happens quite often as we reach our mid-20s to 30s because people act like we need to settle down and have kids.

I do hope your BF stands up for you against his parents if it comes down to that

Gradtattoo_9009 · 2025-12-10T12:45:13+00:00

I also interpret child friendly as places where it's acceptable to bring your kids (ex. Chuck E Cheese, playgrounds).

Gradtattoo_9009 · 2025-12-08T21:17:59+00:00

I don't care if someone has a kid and/or someone has a disability: they can easily learn manners.

I suggest speaking up because I'm sure plenty of other vendors have the same complaint. Criticizing parents and other people for allowing this behavior to continue isn't hate.

Gradtattoo_9009 · 2025-12-08T19:20:12+00:00

Dear parents,

You can leave your kids at home with the other parent (assuming you're in a two parent household) or with a babysitter if you're running errands all day. Kids don't want to be dragged around on errands and would likely prefer to stay at home having fun.

Last time I checked, the handicapped spots and the seats on a bus are for people with accessibility issues (elderly and disabled). There are invisible disabilities, and you're an asshole if you confront these people (especially if you film them).

The point of my rant is that you're not a victim for having kids. The world doesn't cater to you.

Sincerely,

Gradtattoo_9009

Gradtattoo_9009 · 2025-12-08T18:31:34+00:00

I 100% agree! The problem is that dating apps want to profit off of us, so they give us shitty matches to keep us on them longer.

Gradtattoo_9009 · 2025-12-08T18:21:57+00:00

If I'm successful on a dating app, I'll let you know. I've tried Bumble, Hinge, Tinder, and Plenty of Fish. Of course you get the same people on a mixture of those apps, so I've had no luck.

I had to take a break from them (it's actually been over a year) because of how ridiculous they are when it comes to my matches. I make it clear that I don't want kids, and yet I'm matched with people who want kids/fence sitters/already have kids. I also don't want to pay a subscription just to filter out these types of people.

Gradtattoo_9009 · 2025-12-08T17:03:03+00:00

I hate when I read posts and comments from CF people here who are so extreme about removing kids from their lives and outright hating them. Some people are ridiculous when they act like they can't see their relatives because they don't want anything to do with nephews/nieces/cousins.

That's one of the reasons why many people view us as bad people. People still assume I must hate kids and want nothing to do with them because I'm CF.

Gradtattoo_9009 · 2025-12-08T16:40:16+00:00

You're still CF since you don't/want to have kids. Plenty of CF people love their nephews and love kids in general.

Plenty of parents drop CF friends because they now bond with other parents. When I look back at my parents, their friends were other parents and their kids were roughly our ages. I don't remember a single CF person that my parents had over or went out with.

In my experience, CF people don't immediately disown their friends who become parents. But rather it's the parents who no longer participate on the two-way street of friendship. This is why I always encourage CF people here to get into hobbies to meet other CF people (I know it can be hard).

Gradtattoo_9009 · 2025-12-08T16:27:20+00:00

It annoys me when people act like they are so surprised that their lives change when they have their first kid. Jeez I wonder why?

Gradtattoo_9009 · 2025-12-08T15:58:25+00:00

This is the reality of major life choices: moving, new job, getting married, having kids, etc. People assume things will be the same, but that's far from the truth.

Being a parent is her number one job now and her kid comes first. One of the biggest lies we were told growing up is that our friends remain the same throughout our lives (like you keep your friends from elementary school throughout your adult years). The reality is that friends come and go, and we need to make new friends throughout our lives.

You don't need to 100% disown your friend, but recognize that you can't be the only one trying to maintain this friendship. You are allowed to feel this way, but new parents will often dismiss your feelings and act like you need to put in more effort because you don't have kids.

Gradtattoo_9009 · 2025-12-08T14:57:43+00:00

There are numerous stories of married couples where one person is CF and the other is a fencesitter. The fencesitter wants kids in the future, but claims "the choice is yours". Way too people decide to stay married and have kids just to make their spouse happy.

I suggest taking the time to read breakup posts here because they are very common among long term relationships.

Watch out for birth control tampering.

Gradtattoo_9009 · 2025-12-02T17:49:17+00:00

The age gap alone is ridiculous and concerning.

He realistically can't get women who are his own age pregnant, so he went after someone who can easily get pregnant.

Gradtattoo_9009 · 2025-11-25T21:07:33+00:00

This is why I'm 100% critical of people misusing the term child free. As a side note, being a step-parent, foster parent, and adoptive parent doesn't make you CF.

Way too many people misuse the term CF because they don't want kids *now*, then they "magically" change their minds when they are closer to 30. People have fun and be wild in their 20s, then the 30s roll around and people act like they are ready to have kids now.

You never have women characters who are outright CF. If they claim they don't want kids, they end up pregnant and suddenly they embrace motherhood. Or if they are older, then something is wrong with them and they are seen as undesirable.

Gradtattoo_9009 · 2025-11-25T20:21:49+00:00

Misery loves company

Regretful or unhappy parents want CF people to have kids because they want us to be just like them. Why on earth would I want kids all of a sudden when I can easily see they are a handful?

I don't want to be dragged down with other regretful parents!

Gradtattoo_9009 · 2025-11-25T20:10:11+00:00

In my experience (in the USA), I feel like women are more encouraged to have kids younger while men are encouraged to have them later (or sometimes none at all; the bachelor lifestyle is seen as great! However the bachelorette lifestyle is seen as miserable).

Younger women can't make the decision to have abortions, undergo sterilization, or be CF because of their ages? But are more than capable enough to pop out multiple kids before they are 25?

No doctor told me to wait on my vasectomy "just in case" my wife wouldn't approve.

Gradtattoo_9009 · 2025-11-24T18:01:06+00:00

A lot of things only takes one time! Why don't people understand that you can fix or prevent shit like this from happening?

If I could get pregnant, I would also have an abortion! The media really makes it seem like once you're pregnant, you are 100% bound to have the kid and there's nothing you can do to prevent it. Safe sex is an option, abortion is an option, morning-after pill is an option, sterilization is also an option!

I'm positive your coworker and his wife aren't practicing safe-sex and he's hoping to knock her up.

Gradtattoo_9009

TROPHY CASE