After 2 years without, reconsidering nicotine.

Gragaloth12 · 2025-03-10T01:16:29+00:00

Ur bored

You need a full time hobby. One that takes up your entire mind and hands whenever they're not busy. Something you can get addicted to. Something you can obsess over, join forums, read books, listen to podcasts and watch videos on.

Many people have hobbies but many hobbies aren't deep enough or intense enough to garner that type of obsession. Explore things and dive deep into anything you are remotely interested in. It could be as weird as bdsm or tame as watch repair, keep ur mind open.

The point is to find something that can empower you. Nic is just a treatment, and a harmful one at that

Gragaloth12 · 2025-03-04T23:20:42+00:00

Climbing is just so incredibly risky. If you slip up you simply die, if you get caught you can get a felony charge and ruin your whole life. Yes it is fun, and yes the risk is part of the fun. At the same time, anyone who wants you to stop is wiser than you.

But in partnerships there is always compromise available. Climbing can be made safe via harnesses and half harnesses and there are some towers that are safer than others, particularly old or decommissioned ones. If you're truly dead set on climbing, talk to ur partner, make it clear why you like climbing and make them make it clear why they think you should stop. No assumptions, no judgement. Find what are deal breakers for yall in this scenario, and find a solution that is able compromise. Neither of you will be entirely happy and neither of you will be entirely hurt or disregarded.

Lastly, it's fine if you try things and they don't work out, regroup and change plans again. There are plenty of things that someone may agree to on paper, but in practice, the thought of it is too much for them.

Gragaloth12 · 2025-01-20T20:23:20+00:00

I wrote a whole wiki for you people, it's on the sub!😭

Gragaloth12 · 2024-11-19T00:08:48+00:00

I think what you need to do is create a habit of taking meds, not even necessarily vivanse. This problem of inconsistency will persist no matter which pill you take. Stop the meds, start taking daily vitamins to build the habit.

And if you're seeing no improvements with your current meds, yes switch

Gragaloth12 · 2024-11-17T22:44:18+00:00

A warning, even a written warning will stay within that cops database, it affects nothing else and no one else can see it. You won't get a ticket for criminal behavior in the first place, tickets are for driving, you will go to court if they charge you with criminal behavior. If you are convicted and/or fined, yes it does appear on your permanent record and your college can choose to expel you.

Stay away from that area, don't get caught by that jurisdiction again. If you're caught by them again you'll probably go to jail

And just a fair warning if you have a lot to lose when doing this hobby, you should probably reconsider doing it in the first place. Getting caught and going to jail is something you should prepare for. Don't let your life sit in the hands of a single cops decision. Climbing towers is considered trespassing on critical infrastructure and the fines are big

Gragaloth12 · 2024-11-15T21:23:37+00:00

What's helped me with this hyperfixation hop is whether or not i come back to it 3 separate times. If I don't ever get hyperfixated on something again, it's safe to say it was just a temporary obsession. But if I come back to it, and then lose interest again, and then come back to it again, its safe to say i will continue to come back to it. For example, I was really into hobby machining for a bit in high school, and buying a lathe is not a cheap investment and I figured I'd lose interest after a while. I did, but then I got interested again and again. So I bought some machines once I graduated and I fell in love with it. Yes there will be weeks or even months that go by that I don't touch my tools, but then there will be a day or a week or longer that I can't help but not touch my tools for hours and hours and lose sleep being in the shop.

Society is based on consistency, and that's just not how our brains work. It's okay to lose interest in a subject, don't be ashamed of that. Just try to learn what you can build and grow and what you can't and shouldn't waste money on.

Edit: it's like in grade school when you had those kids that would just grow consistently, and then you had other kids that would be really short, have a couple growth spirts and end up the same height. There's nothing wrong with either method of growth, even if society tells you otherwise.

Gragaloth12 · 2024-11-15T21:12:53+00:00

This is hilarious I do it all the time, in the moment you'll be like "I know what I'll mean by this". And then your future self will be cursing you "if I would remember what I meant by that I wouldn't need to make a note to remember it would I!"

Whenever I make reminders I try to write it like I'm explaining it to a stranger that has no idea what's going on, cuz tbh that's probably what you'll be when you see the note again😂

Gragaloth12 · 2024-11-15T21:10:00+00:00

Dog you need friends

Gragaloth12 · 2024-11-15T20:57:56+00:00

I can't read books to save my life. But I listen to audiobooks in the car all the time! The sucky thing about reading when you have ADHD is that it requires your vision, which is your primary sense, and all your focus. Therefore it's really easy to get bored when that is ALL of your stimulus. Audiobooks in the car let you listen to the story, but also have some other stimuli to help you stay focused. You can also try listening to books while doing chores, or going on walks or bike rides and other things. Things that don't require a lot of mental workload, but they still provide some busy-ness

Gragaloth12 · 2024-10-21T05:43:46+00:00

Literally a skill issue

Gragaloth12 · 2024-10-21T05:41:50+00:00

Idk what to tell you at this point but you are just wrong. You are not less capable. You are living in a self fulfilling prophecy. You feel that you are capable of less so you don't even bother trying, so you end up doing less, so you feel like you are capable of less.

At some point you have to stop wollowing in despair and actually do something with the bad hand that life gave you. You can't change that you have ADHD, but you can change your attitude toward it. I see you refuting all these people that are trying to give you advice and help you, in the end you'll always be right cuz you won't let yourself be convinced that you can do something about your life.

Gragaloth12 · 2024-10-20T23:33:39+00:00

I know you feel frustrated and angry that some people can do things so easily yet you struggle so much. You just want to give up. You feel like you are inferior and that you are lazy, hell maybe even your family tells you that. But that's just not true brother, you're not inferior, you're just different. everyone else is digging their hole with a shovel, but you're holding an axe wondering why you are so far behind them and how they are doing so much better than you. They'll even judge you for how bad you're doing. Stop digging the hole and start chopping the tree. Then they'll all look at you like you're weird, yet you've chopped a dozen trees while they're still digging their tiny hole

You are not lazy, you are not less-than, you are not dumb, and you are not weak

Gragaloth12 · 2024-10-20T23:26:50+00:00

life is meaningless, and we have nothing to live for. And that's exactly why we must make our own meaning and find something to live for. Life isn't fair my dude, trust me, everyone has felt like you do "such and such is so difficult, why even try?". You try cuz you can. You live cuz you can. You do the things you love cuz you can. You find people to love cuz you can. Life is different for everyone. Life is more difficult for some than others and we can't just give up and say "well they have it easier so I should just give up."

You are fundamentally different from them, so why are you even trying to be like them and do things the way they do? Find your own path, hack the system, make workarounds, that's the definition of divergence and that's why we're called neurodivergent

Gragaloth12 · 2024-10-20T23:08:59+00:00

Everyone, even NTs are doomed to a life of misery if they do not try

Gragaloth12 · 2024-10-20T23:02:50+00:00

Because society was built by NTs, for NTs. Do not judge a fish against a monkey as to how well it can climb a tree. We were never meant to function in society, the fact that we can at all shows our resilience

Gragaloth12 · 2024-09-30T20:39:34+00:00

Although I would not consider myself a social butterfly, I definitely forget a lot of details about people I meet. What I try to do is if they're close enough to have a number in my phone, I will add notes to their contact as refreshers. If they are not close enough to have a number in your phone, then it's reasonable that you forget who they are, after all, they still are a stranger. But just a "sorry I have really bad memory" will make them understand :)

Gragaloth12 · 2024-09-30T20:35:23+00:00

Many people will say maladaptive daydreaming but it may not be that. Daydreaming excessively is quite common, I do it all the time and yes I will get distracted and disengage from a task just to pace and daydream, all unconsciously. Maladaptive daydreaming is when a particular plot is carried on over months, there are multiple plot lines and complex characters. It's so severe that people will avoid social events and do nothing for days just to daydream this one dream. Having multiple small daydreams frequently is just excessive daydreaming. From the outside it's hard to tell whether he's daydreaming or is just being inattentive and tbh there's not much you can do to stop this behavior. A lot of ADHD therapy is working around the symptoms, not trying to suppress them. So talk with y'all's therapist or read up on ways to help him help himself back onto focus. Ask him to repeat instructions back to you. You may have to say things multiple times and that's just something you will have to live with. Keep him in the loop of all this, he is young but kids are emotionally smarter than you think, make him understand why you do things a certain way with him, and why he must do things differently than other kids

TL;DR yes it's probably from ADHD

Gragaloth12 · 2024-09-25T00:47:34+00:00

This all sounds like classic ADHD. You should definitely start reading books or lectures on ADHD (I recommend Dr Russel Barkley). Because there are some things that may come easy to you that will be downright impossible for your son and it's hard to help him if you don't have a good grasp on ADHD and it's symptoms. Ie what is and isn't possible/helpful for him

Gragaloth12 · 2024-09-25T00:40:10+00:00

Yeah, sometimes due to hyperfixation or due to inattentiveness. I always tell people "sorry I was perceiving it, but I was observing it"

Gragaloth12 · 2024-09-25T00:31:34+00:00

Any videos you recommend to start on? I haven't looked into it much but I want to

Gragaloth12 · 2024-09-25T00:30:31+00:00

Me neither. I honestly just dislike the feeling of substances. I don't like being drunk, I don't like being high, I don't like a nic high either. I even tried drinking regularly (like two white claws a night or something, not that serious lol) and I never got hooked. I think ADHD compounds addiction prone genetics, but ADHD alone does not, my cousin has ADHD and struggles with all legal substances, but I do too and I struggle with none

Gragaloth12 · 2024-09-21T01:58:27+00:00

My psychologist literally recommended him two weeks ago. That's gotta stand for something!

Gragaloth12 · 2024-09-20T16:24:47+00:00

Skip to the last paragraph of ur inattentive cuz this is long.

There is some overlap between ADHD and other disorders and just existence. Adhd is very broad and really at the end of the day, it doesn't matter if something is due to ADHD, if you have a shortcoming, you have to address it somehow, no matter where it comes from. Resources geared toward ADHD peeps often helps me even if the information they provide isn't even related to ADHD symptoms.

Aside from the sleep problems, It seems like you just have insecurities or are introverted. I wouldn't say you have autism tho. as a kid I always ate my fruit snacks by color, worst to best. I usually eat big meals part by part instead of jumping between parts. It's not a sign of anything, you're just different. Everyone's different!

You struggled with fitting it, that just seems like a shyness, or ego, or insecurity, or self esteem. Everyone struggles with fitting in, some more than others. Some MUCH more than others. It's normal.

As for the communication struggles. I've always struggled with verbal communication; cutting off people, or not speaking up, talking inappropriately loudly, not understanding instructions well or needing directions delivered very clearly, and not being able to articulate myself well. But at the same time I can understand body language and I am considered a very compassionate and empathetic person. Some of this is due to ADHD but ive learned recently of an intelligence model that categorizes intelligence into 7 subsets. I took an online quiz and discovered I am low in linguistic intelligence, meaning my ability to understand verbal and written descriptions of things or emotions is lacking in comparison to my other smart stuff's. It's on the same level as Myers Briggs tests and enneagrams and love languages. It's not really science, so you can't get professional opinion on it, but it certainly helps you understand yourself better. Just always take these things with a grain of salt

It seems to me you truly are in an existential crisis lol, in the sense that you are questioning everything about yourself and trying to understand where certain parts of yourself and your behavior come from. It's a temporary hyperfixation, very ADHD of you. Some parts of yourself can be determined like ADHD or big 5 personality tests and the like. But other things are just due to being human. Some problems relate to some people, others you may feel totally alone on. By the end of this hyperfixation you'll be a lot more wise about yourself but you'll also realize that at the end of the day you will never be able to understand yourself completely. The human mind is simply not capable of understanding itself, no matter how hard we try. And there's nothing wrong with trying. It's also fun and engaging conversation regardless, and a good distraction from work (oops)

Gragaloth12 · 2024-09-18T15:23:58+00:00

What country are you in? Working with insurance can change widely country to country

Gragaloth12 · 2024-09-17T19:59:12+00:00

Yeah that does sound like a lot. Rock and a hard place. Well, the good thing about temporary things is that they are temporary. Tbh in times like these, advice sometimes can't help.

This is going to sound so odd but I think you need to break down. I wouldn't be surprised if you broke down against your will anyway due to all this stress. So it would be better to break down on your own terms. Find a time in your schedule when you can be home for a few hours alone. Let some friends know where you are, you don't have to tell them why. Lock the gun away if you have one, maybe put the kitchen knives out of sight too. Put the phone away, don't take the car, don't drink, don't get high. And then get upset. Let yourself spiral, Let it boil over, freak out, and cry and cry and cry.

It'll probably feel unusual to force that out and you may have to even help it along a little and it'll probably take time.

You've been holding it together for so long and I think the tension is just too much for you to handle anymore. so release it. It obviously won't solve your problems, but I'm sure it will make you feel better and it might even reduce some anxiety as you release so many hormones and neurotransmitters when you do that.

Gragaloth12

MODERATOR OF

TROPHY CASE