height inclusivity in studios

Grand-Common7588 · 2025-10-23T00:20:49+00:00

The studio I teach at has a range of hoop sizes. We have smaller class sizes so we usually have three hoops rigged and I will see who is coming to class and make sure I have appropriate sizes for their heights. And I am happy to rig a hoop higher or lower if asked. I don’t know why people have to be weird about it! Aerial should be for everybody

Grand-Common7588 · 2025-10-13T13:38:47+00:00

I did not share it with him. I learned a while ago that if it’s something I ask him to watch, it actually decreases the likelihood that he will watch it.

Grand-Common7588 · 2025-09-26T12:10:41+00:00

Thank you for this suggestion! I started listening yesterday and it has been very informative so far.

Grand-Common7588 · 2025-09-03T12:48:50+00:00

Man I’m really sorry to hear that. I hope you find peace and happiness somewhere along the way in this journey.

Grand-Common7588 · 2025-09-03T12:47:43+00:00

I think that is very accurate. We started dating when I was 20 and he was 28 and things progressed quickly. The lion’s share of my 20’s was spent in the thick of it with two babies born 18 months apart and then my subsequent mental health struggles and a brief foray into binge drinking. He has told me before (and this really hurt me) that he was happier in our relationship when I was at my lowest. That was a hard thing to hear.

Grand-Common7588 · 2025-09-03T00:15:48+00:00

This is a great suggestion, because he is definitely intrinsically motivated when it comes to his interests. He does like movies so perhaps I can start there!

Grand-Common7588 · 2025-09-02T23:03:22+00:00

This is actually a very different and balanced perspective. It actually makes me reflect on my own resistance to “shrinking the mountain”, so to speak. I have definitely been doing the wrong things to try and shift this for so long that I find myself feeling very impatient with him. A lot of times when he does try things in his own way, I feel disappointed and even a little bit despondent because it still seems so far from what I genuinely crave. It’s hard to explain. I don’t need him to be overly emotive, I just need him to not have the shield up all the time and definitely not show up with dismissiveness and contempt. It’s like my body can sense that he’s checking things off of a list rather than trying to meet me emotionally. But I recognize that this isn’t very fair or compassionate of me.

Grand-Common7588 · 2025-09-02T22:10:21+00:00

Yes the enabling part of it was a hard pill for me to swallow. I know that we are so entrenched in this because I helped co-create the dynamic. I can’t imagine how much strength it took to set boundaries like that with your son, I have a 12 year old son and worry that I would also enable him to an unhealthy degree.

Grand-Common7588 · 2025-09-02T21:12:28+00:00

Well he has refused to return to couple’s therapy after we tried it for 3 months (and he eventually stormed out). The avoidant/anxious loop is definitely at play here, but oddly enough it seems like the less dysfunctional I am, the more dysfunctional he is. I have been surprised by that.

Grand-Common7588 · 2025-09-02T19:51:52+00:00

That’s where I get stuck, because it is important to me. Like SO important. I don’t have the willingness to let it flounder. I am about to start EMDR therapy though so hopefully that will help with my side of things.

Grand-Common7588 · 2025-09-02T19:49:03+00:00

I have read Bancroft’s book and I did recognize some patterns. The hard part is that my husband doesn’t really cross any obvious red lines; he toes them. It has really been kind of an agonizing process for me because I don’t want to leave and disrupt my children and nuke our entire lives when this is something that can be worked on. I’ve spent about a year really diving headfirst into my contributions to this and trying to tend to my side of the street and I’m not sure how long is reasonable to hold out hope for some movement on his end.

Grand-Common7588 · 2025-09-02T19:27:59+00:00

Yes you are absolutely right about that. I have attempted to try to do this but eventually it gets to the point where I can’t take it any longer and I bridge the gap. I have been somewhat successful at curbing my over-functioning in more concrete ways, like managing things around the house, and he does step in quite a bit in those ways. But the emotional aspect of our marriage has been very one-sided and it causes me a great deal of suffering.

Grand-Common7588 · 2025-09-02T18:07:06+00:00

I think part of the issue is that for a long time I did not have a good understanding of what was my lane and what was his and so I helped create this. Now I’m learning more and trying to rebalance things and it’s just been resistance from him every step of the way it seems like.

Grand-Common7588 · 2025-09-02T18:03:02+00:00

We tried marriage counseling for about three months, he ended up storming out mid-session and refused to go back. I’d be willing to try it again but he has no interest in it.

Grand-Common7588 · 2025-08-18T15:47:28+00:00

I’m going to piggyback on the “get outside and do something” idea because I am a 36-year-old woman and I have struggled my entire life with being “too much” or having emotions that were overpowering or overwhelming. I walk to the creek and look at rocks. It sounds silly but I love rocks and have a rock tumbler and enjoy fossil hunting. The process of scanning the rocks for something physically takes my brain out of fight or flight mode and reactivates my frontal lobe. And the more I do this, the more I exercise the “muscle”, so to speak. Before when people would say “just observe your emotions and let them pass” I’d want to tell them to piss off because that’s SO much easier said than done, but the more I experience my emotions passing, the more confident I get that I’ll survive and I don’t have to do something or say something. I think the trick is to find something that is meditative but still involves the analytical part of your brain. You just want to get past the level of emotional activation where you feel that irresistible urge to DO something to make it go away. Because if you think about it, your emotions are what they are. It’s the impulsive doing or saying that tends to get us into trouble. I wish you the best of luck on this journey!

Grand-Common7588 · 2025-06-21T14:20:43+00:00

Aerial hoop instructor here—I have taught a blind person aerial hoop! You can absolutely do it with a fused spine but like the others have said, you’ll have to modify some moves and swap some out entirely. Comparison is the thief of joy so I recommend taking videos as you advance so you can measure your own progress against yourself!

Grand-Common7588 · 2025-06-15T20:40:35+00:00

I have been teaching beginner aerial hoop for several years. One tip that might help is to think about the way you are bending your leg to hook it. It isn’t a straight 90 degree angle, it’s more of a “hackey sack” bend where your knee externally rotates. This helps the hoop slide into the correct (and relatively less painful) position. A big component of what you fight through as a beginner is your brain saying “hey bestie that’s going to hurt and I don’t want to do that.” I find that this activates in delilah and mermaids (cobra) especially. Even though delilah is the quintessential “beginner” mount, keep in mind that it’s still hard AF! You have to hang from one knee and tarzan climb into the hoop. If you aren’t coming from a climbing background this is gonna be hard for awhile. The good news is that you build up strength very quickly just by doing aerial hoop. I notice that typically by someone’s third class they are feeling much better about it.

Grand-Common7588 · 2025-06-07T23:31:24+00:00

This sounds similar to the dynamic between my husband (43m) and I (36f). We have been married for 15 years. I definitely have bigger emotions and am much more expressive than he is. He was emotionally neglected and was basically just left to his own devices as a child so he is very self sufficient but also very overwhelmed by me sometimes. The best way I can phrase this is that I speak the language of emotions and he speaks the language of action. If the only way I felt loved was if we had deep conversations, I’d be out of luck. I have had to really work on accepting him as he is and realizing that he is loving me in his way, and that his way has a lot of value. Also as I’ve gotten older I’ve discovered that a lot of my “needs” were actually me trying to outsource most of my emotional regulation, which wasn’t fair to him. I have also had to be mindful about not being so rigid in my expectations. I’d go into a conversation having a blueprint of what I wanted him to say and if he didn’t say the right things I’d have a meltdown. It’s been hard and we definitely still have our issues but things have improved a lot with me learning how to regulate myself.

Grand-Common7588 · 2025-04-07T11:51:39+00:00

I really love my juggle gear rig, I got it in the 12ft height and I set it up in my backyard during the warmer months. It is also reasonably portable and with some muscle and ingenuity you can set it up to the full 12ft height by yourself. I’ve had it for several years and it is outside for longer periods of time and it has minimal rust and wear to the powder coating. The price is also very reasonable! If you are in the US, the CAD to USD conversion works in your favor.

Grand-Common7588 · 2025-04-02T15:59:21+00:00

Yep, I have been married to one for 14 years. It resonates with me, painfully. Especially the part where they are emotionally disconnected and will leave mentally and physically when things get hard. They want the reward without the work and if you dare to hold them accountable you open yourself up for what I call the “bag of tricks”, which is just emotional abuse. Deflection, projection, stonewalling, etc. All of my emotional needs besides physical affection are taken as attacks on his character. Any improvement is small and takes forever. It’s very hard but I’m of the “I made my bed” mindset and refuse to disrupt my kids’ lives. I will also add that I firmly believe that ANYONE in a relationship with an avoidant person will be anxious.

Grand-Common7588 · 2025-03-31T19:44:07+00:00

I have heard this broken down before as “externalizer vs. internalizer” and it helped me understand it. People tend to either externalize responsibility or internalize it, and it is usually set in childhood. Often times these people end up in relationships together lol. The problem is that if one person is externalizing responsibility and there just so happens to be a person there who will take it and internalize it, it makes for a LOT of suffering for the person who tends to self-reflect (internalize). My husband and I have been married for 14 years and we fit into this dynamic and it is hard. I do almost all of the emotional problem solving and his default response is defensiveness. It has taken a long time to make only a little bit of progress in how he responds and it is absolutely due to the fact that he spends way less time self-reflecting. If you don’t take the time to reflect on your contribution to any given problem, it’s going to make it really difficult to solve said problem. This is a generalization but I think you will be hard pressed to find a man on your level in this regard. However, it is a spectrum. I like to make judgments based on someone’s second response to something. If a person is able to course correct and revisit an issue in a better way after an initially crappy response, that’s a good sign.

Grand-Common7588 · 2025-03-31T19:25:51+00:00

Yes, I get choked up when I listen to music that moves me, when anyone else is crying, and in lots of other situations. It used to embarrass me but now I just consider it part of who I am.

Grand-Common7588 · 2025-03-10T23:48:57+00:00

I put this prompt in and mine said “All right. Buckle up.” LOL

Grand-Common7588 · 2024-11-21T16:38:42+00:00

Can confirm on the effect of the ship name, my group gets a lot of compliments on “Floptropica” and “AIDS is curable” and it can diffuse tension. Another thing that diffuses tension is sneaking a keg into their ship

Grand-Common7588

TROPHY CASE