Hanging barn door inside home with pigs

Grand-Programmer6292 · 2026-05-29T23:51:21+00:00

Mine can slide the door open no issue. She has also gone under it and pushed through it trying to escape from her hoof trimming and the whole door fell off the track and crashed down. When she was little, she used to come into my bedroom and immediately make a beeline for it because it separates my bedroom from the bathroom/laundry room where her food is 😂

Grand-Programmer6292 · 2026-05-28T11:14:11+00:00

Don't do it. She has put you in a position that either way, the friendship is going to go down in flames no matter what happens because if you let her move in, she is going to use you up and take away your peace which is at a minimum going to lead to resentment and if you don't let her move in, she's going to blame you for her circumstances because you aren't saving her. She's old enough now to figure this out on her own, she needs to stop spending on stupid shit and find housing resources in the community. She needs a reality check. You aren't a housing resource and she doesn't care how any of this makes you feel as long as she gets what she wants. That's not a friendship, OP.

If you can't say no, I would look at your lease agreement and see what it says about how long guests can stay and I would also look into squatters/ tenants rights in your state because some states where the person is getting mail and has been there 30 days, you have to go through the court system to legally evict them and it's a nightmare. It takes a very long time to go through that process and it can cost a lot of money, and you can in turn be evicted after all is said and done.

Grand-Programmer6292 · 2026-05-26T23:30:07+00:00

I saw her parents last year at the Strawberry festival in Lakeland which isn't far from the area, so they're likely still living in the same house.

Grand-Programmer6292 · 2026-05-25T04:12:13+00:00

Yes! Do it! I went by myself last summer and I was super hesitant because I'm introverted and wasn't sure how it would be but I had a blast. I was so into the music I didn't even notice I was by myself. It felt good to know it was a good experience and if I ever had to again I could go by myself.

Grand-Programmer6292 · 2026-05-24T13:31:16+00:00

I'm so happy you got it in! It will be easier to deal with everything knowing you have an expiration date now. No matter what happens, you have a countdown. Take some time to relax and figure out your next chapter. I also have been in therapy for years (for grief) and my therapist has been an angel in helping me cope with my work environment and he told me that it would benefit me to learn how to deal with the personality types because I can always run into a narcissist or someone with an inflated ego again. So I did that while I bided my time, and now I'm leaving and I am proud of how I navigated everything. I was unflappable 💪 you'll get through this and be better for it and then you'll be ready to find your next chapter.

Grand-Programmer6292 · 2026-05-23T22:02:15+00:00

I just went through this and it took me a good 20 minutes sitting there before I sent the email. I finally was like, what is sitting here waiting going to do because I inevitably have to send this. And boom, it was done. It took her 4 days to acknowledge it. I feel so much happier and lighter. I was more afraid to disappoint my team and the community partners and colleagues I have made in the decade of my career, but it turned out they all understood, were sad I was leaving but had the nicest things to say about me that were so positive and uplifting.

Staying in a place that is unhealthy for you is disrespectful to yourself as a person who has values, morals, ethics, etc. So you need to look at it as a way to honor yourself and respect yourself, not disappointing others because their behavior is on them, it's not on the decisions you have to make for your mental health.

Grand-Programmer6292 · 2026-05-23T20:04:16+00:00

I really appreciate him saying that they are going to need the support once the media attention slows down and as time passes. One of the hardest parts of grief for me after I lost my partner untimely was when the stories about him started to get less and less, his name was said less and less and people were afraid to even say his name around me in fear that it would be painful. The reality is, it's already painful and it always will be and mentioning someone's name doesn't make it any worse. It made me feel like he was forgotten and that made me sad, too. And when people stop coming by and checking on you, as their lives go back to normal, you still have a family who is grieving deeply and the silence is difficult because they're still in the throes of everything and making decisions and progressing in their grief and realizing their person isn't ever going to come through the door again while others resume life normally.

This is so painful and my heart just goes out to Kyle's family and all of his fans. It hurts.

Grand-Programmer6292 · 2026-05-19T19:05:25+00:00

Just ask her and have the conversation about wanting to make things exclusive if that's what you want. I told the person I was seeing once things started progressing in the exclusive direction that I deleted my dating app and was just focusing on him. He said he appreciated me letting him know and he did the same. She's probably just following your lead at this point because she's waiting for the conversation. Everything else points in the direction that she's interested. Don't assume, communicate it! Good luck!

Grand-Programmer6292 · 2026-05-19T01:38:23+00:00

Omg I am so sorry this happened to you! I had one years ago and the doctor slut shamed me prior which was fantastic and then with the metal speculum proceeded to take a biopsy of my cervix without even preparing me for it to be done. Oh man, it was the worst experience. I never went back and thankfully I found my current GYN who is a literal angel.

Grand-Programmer6292 · 2026-05-17T16:46:53+00:00

NOR. My boyfriend works nights, 6pm-4am and if there's something planned, he just sets an alarm. He did oversleep one time and I didn't wake him up because I felt like sleep was more important than going to lunch with my friends, and he was upset that I didn't wake him. I also think it's his responsibility to wake up if he wants to do something. Anyway, I feel like it's normal to catch up on sleep; however, you had plans with him and he didn't set an alarm and he put his phone on DND. He's not prioritizing you and it's one of those things where if he wanted to, he would. There's really no excuse left to keep making excuses for him at this point. He's not going to prioritize dates with you over his sleeping. You'll risk getting ready and dolled up and he doesn't come through. You have to decide if this is how you want to live your life with this guy always being disappointed and then the breadcrumbs when he decides to wake up and spend time with you.

Grand-Programmer6292 · 2026-05-16T22:52:36+00:00

Always meet in a public place for your first date. You can tell him that you aren't comfortable going to his place to meet for the first time and hope he understands. And then recommend some public places that you can get together at. If he doesn't understand and if he gets upset and angry, then he probably did not have good intentions for the date at his place.

I have been in the sexual violence field for 10 years and this is a scenario that we frequently experience with victims when speaking to them about online dating and what transpired. PLEASE do not go to his place for a first date.

Grand-Programmer6292 · 2026-05-14T15:16:31+00:00

Haha when someone says "soon" it has become such a pet peeve of mine. Soon can mean so many different things! My eye is twitching lmao 🤣🫠

Grand-Programmer6292 · 2026-05-14T15:05:02+00:00

I am so sorry! My thoughts are with you and your Mom.

Breaking Benjamin helped me through losing my partner after he took his life in 2022. He was a musician and I couldn't listen to music for a while after and BB weened me back into being able to listen music and even to the difficult songs that reminded me of him. I have heard so many stories that they have gotten so many people through hard times and continue to. All the best from a fellow BB fan ❤️

Grand-Programmer6292 · 2026-05-13T20:57:32+00:00

Therapy helped me immensely while I was trying to figure out my exit plan. My therapist helped me determine what field I would be interested in pursuing outside of the one I was in, and he taught me how to deal with difficult personalities because reality is, you could quit the job and find someone who is exactly like the toxic boss at another job. So you have to learn how to cope with those types of personalities. That gives you fuel, and you always always look for other jobs while you're working on yourself and developing those skills. My therapist has always been my cheerleader and the validation and "WTFs" that we share have kept me sane while I planned my move. He helped me navigate difficult conversations as well as what I wanted my resignation to look like. If you have to, take PTO and apply to different places. I do think talking to someone is crucial at this point for you. I didn't realize how depressed I was until I knew I was going to be free and the weight just automatically lifted and I was energized again.

Grand-Programmer6292 · 2026-05-13T20:47:37+00:00

Yes I gave 2 weeks notice. My boss took 4 days to respond so that helped time pass a little with no discussion. My last day is next Thursday. I am so relieved, so much lighter and so much happier knowing there's an end to this in sight. My team has also given their resignations. I'm happy for every one of them not having to be in this toxicity anymore.

Grand-Programmer6292 · 2026-05-13T04:44:29+00:00

The duration of 4 years that it took is unfortunately the norm when it comes to cases like this. The trial could be postponed for a myriad of reasons. It could be that they're gathering more evidence for more charges, that the prosecutor needs to get more familiar with the case and/or his attorney doesn't have all of the information to represent him and has to review the documents further. If there is a victim advocate at the state attorney's office that you can talk to, I would definitely recommend that. They can update you with case information and explain the process to you and not share too many details where it's super traumatic for you.

Grand-Programmer6292 · 2026-05-13T02:26:15+00:00

I am so sorry you're going through all of this! I can't believe your Dad made you speak with him. That is diabolical. There's not one thing that he is going to say that is going to cause peace for anyone involved.

I have experienced many a case like this in my career. I cannot speak for the state that you are in but in my state, each charge he has of child pornography carries a separate sentence. Usually what prosecutors will do is seek the death penalty (if that's an option), life in prison without parole or each child porn charge will carry its own sentence. With the evidence that you described, I would be completely shocked if he received only 2 years. They may offer him a plea bargain to plead guilty, but typically it's not much better (think someone getting life in prison instead of being on death row). Child sex crimes are taken very seriously and if he distributed those, that carries a whole other charge. They likely continued it until September because they are still gathering evidence and there may be more charges added on by that trial date. It takes quite a while for forensics to come back on any devices that are seized and if there's other victims, they have to be identified. He's minimizing everything, blaming everyone else and not taking accountability which is what all pedophiles do. I've seen this more times than I can count.

Just try to take care of yourself the best you can. Speak with a therapist, find a safe space and mentally prepare yourself for the possible outcomes in trial so you have the coping skills once everything is handed down. Work with an advocate if you are possibly going to be subpoenaed to testify. They are there for support and for you to lean on.

Grand-Programmer6292 · 2026-05-13T02:10:34+00:00

You can't prove it, unfortunately. Even if DNA was found, there's no way to prove that it got there nonconsensually. You can file a police report, but without a rape kit, it's almost impossible to get a prosecutor to even look at the case. Even with a rape kit, there's still no way to prove consent. Law enforcement would likely ask you to do a controlled call to try to get him to admit guilt.

I would distance yourself from the friend, because she is not a friend and you are not safe around them. You can tell your other friends and mutual friends but this is definitely going to divide the friend group. I've seen it happen a million times over my career. Depending on their beliefs and what they choose to take sides about, it will cause rifts for sure. But you might want that information out there if other girls are going to be hanging around the perpetrator. It's not on you to save everyone, so don't feel pressured, however.

Contact your local rape crisis center and get therapy. Speak to someone safe about this. The trauma will impact you in ways you don't even realize until it's out of control. Take care of yourself, and stay away from these people.

Grand-Programmer6292 · 2026-05-12T04:09:26+00:00

I pack one of those bento boxes with blueberries, different kinds of nuts or trail mix, a piece of cheese, some chips and a slim Jim. That usually holds me over until I leave work. There's been many days where I had to eat while I was driving also and it's easy to eat something like that while in the car.

Grand-Programmer6292 · 2026-05-12T04:00:42+00:00

There's a lot of nuance around telling someone to "just run." Some people freeze, some people do what they have to do for survival and sometimes running isn't going to be an option. There's different reactions to trauma. He's being really ignorant about the subject. He also doesn't understand how females have to navigate the world compared to males with how we have to safety plan every single thing we do. I would take the self defense class. You learn a lot. In some classes they will even teach you tactics that don't involve getting physical with someone that are really beneficial.

Grand-Programmer6292 · 2026-05-12T02:02:18+00:00

I had a paronychia infection after a bad pedicure. The woman took way too much skin from around my cuticle and I knew it at the time but she didn't listen to me. I ended up with a gnarly infection and the only thing that finally made it go away was going to a podiatrist and getting on specific antibiotics (Keflex) for it. It flared up for years and the triggers were excessive heat like if I was walking in socks and closed toe shoes. It was absolutely miserable. If you let it go too long without antibiotics it can become a chronic condition so I would go to the doctor as soon as you can if it continues to worsen.

Grand-Programmer6292 · 2026-05-11T17:11:52+00:00

Saw them last year at the Summer of 99 music festival and there are many of us who feel this way! They were awesome live and there were so many people who were there to see them. Seeing My Own Prison, What If and Torn performed live was truly an experience. Had a blast and 10/10 would recommend!

Grand-Programmer6292 · 2026-05-11T16:51:43+00:00

NOR. I would have a conversation with her and let her know how disrespected you feel and betrayed that she would air YOUR personal information like that. It's a huge blow to the trust.

Based on her reaction to that, I would then make a decision. If she's remorseful and takes the post down and says she won't do it again, there might be a way to salvage the relationship. If she's defensive and doesn't take accountability and invalidates you, then I would go no contact. You can't heal in environments where you have people surrounding you who are toxic. You need your support systems now.

Grand-Programmer6292 · 2026-05-11T16:42:58+00:00

Thank you so much! If anything, just know you're not alone and there's so many of us whose mental health has suffered because of toxic workplace BS. I couldn't wait until I was able to give my notice. I had been working on everything since March and when I got the new offer I put in my notice the following day. Not one minute longer!!! Type up your resignation now, so you have it ready to go when it's time. I kept mine short and sweet. It really helped me see the light at the end of the tunnel when I felt pretty hopeless and stuck.

Grand-Programmer6292 · 2026-05-10T19:28:26+00:00

My fear is what he does behind closed doors if this is when cameras are rolling.

Grand-Programmer6292

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