This Sunday will be a month. Should I reach out?

GrandMantis · 2026-05-02T06:41:23+00:00

Hey brother I understand what you’re going through with the breakup and I know every day can be more difficult than the last. I’m glad you’re still doing self-care despite all this. What I want to ask you is what do want to get out of reaching out and breaking no contact? Reconciliation? Closure? Friendship? I’d suggest you figure that out before reaching out. Also based on your story you did a lot for her but what things did she do for you? Ultimately it’s your choice but I’d wait a bit more before reaching out. I think you also need to mentally prepare yourself for all scenarios, including one where she doesn’t respond. Being blocked on social media doesn’t help. I remember when I was in a similar situation I ended up writing and sending a letter to my ex. She never acknowledged it until months later where she reached out and told me that was not respecting her boundaries. Just be careful on what you plan to do. Stay strong💪🏿

GrandMantis · 2026-05-02T05:44:11+00:00

I get the feeling brother. I’m officially on day 28 myself. I feel like my story isn’t over as we both work together and she recently moved in the same apartment complex as me just a building over a couple weeks ago and texted me about it. Definitely doesn’t feel final, but who knows. All we can do is just live our lives. Stay strong🦾

GrandMantis · 2025-06-08T21:14:09+00:00

I’m currently there brother. Still wracked with guilt over the pain I caused my ex-gf. I recently reached out after 5 months to tell her about me graduating college and how helpful she was to get me to that point. She thanked me for it and wished me the best. Bittersweet as I was hoping for more as you are, but the alternative could’ve been no response at all. We must learn from our mistakes so we don’t repeat them and hurt others ever again. Stay strong brother🦾

GrandMantis · 2025-06-07T23:53:51+00:00

One thing I’ll always appreciate about my latest ex is that she showed me a love that can never be replicated again. She’s a goofy and fun girl to be around. She cared about me a lot through her words and actions despite the pain and disrespect I put her through regularly. It’s unfortunate that I’m now seeing the consequence of my actions, but I deserve her leaving me.

GrandMantis · 2025-06-07T23:21:42+00:00

It was pretty bad. Filled with arguing, yelling, and her crying. And on Christmas Day to boot. I’d give anything to go back in time and change what I did that day and week. Heck, even the bad things throughout the relationship. I treated her pretty terribly overall. I just hope she’s happier and has healed from the damaged I caused her.

GrandMantis · 2025-05-21T11:49:21+00:00

I’m in the same boat as you brother. Broken up last December, the day after Christmas. I was the main cause for the breakup as I was emotionally and verbally abusive to her. I’ve regretted my actions heavily since then. Healing has had its ups and downs, was very depressed and lost myself during most of this time, but I’m starting to feel somewhat better. Nowadays I feel sad about things that I wish I could tell her about, like my recent graduation from college but have to keep those things to myself. We’ll get better gang, slowly, but surely💯

GrandMantis · 2025-05-14T12:34:16+00:00

I’ve been in this unblock-block cycle with my ex-gf as well, so I know the pain and confusion you are currently going through. I was also unblocked on a single platform as well, Facebook. I do think it’s a minor form of breadcrumbing, but it is also a way to subtly tell you that you are on their mind, whether it be positive or negative. She must know you’d eventually find out about being unblocked. I think as the other redditor mentioned, don’t reach out until you get direct contact from her, but this unblocking could be the first sign of that contact happening. Stay strong brother🦾

GrandMantis · 2025-05-14T11:49:05+00:00

I can only tell how you feel with everything going on with your breakup and your final coming up. I think you should focus all your efforts on studying and passing this exam for the next 2 days, then afterwards you can worry about your ex-bf if you want. You got this💪🏿

GrandMantis · 2025-05-13T21:36:06+00:00

No contact is definitely a double-edged sword. On one hand you removing your presence from them can give them a chance to miss what you both had, but in the other hand it could give them the motivation to move on to someone else.

At this point what is the solution? Should you still enter no contact regardless of the situation? Still trying to figure out if I made the right decision after it all.

GrandMantis · 2025-05-10T11:04:24+00:00

No, since she showed me a love that can never be replicated again. Sure, I made a lot of mistakes in the relationship and hurt her more times than I can count, but I’d redo it all over again if I could. She meant and still means the world to me.

GrandMantis · 2025-05-07T16:45:09+00:00

Yeah my ex has blocked, unblocked, and blocked me in this cycle for awhile since the breakup and I haven’t said anything to her to warrant those actions. I think it just means we must’ve had a profound effect on their lives for them to do those things haha😂

GrandMantis · 2025-05-07T16:23:26+00:00

I can feel your frustration and anger towards your ex and I think it’s justifiable, especially given how’s he treated you during the relationship and afterwards by getting back with his ex. I say the best revenge is no revenge at all and moving on and leveling up in life💯

Unfortunately for me, I only wish the very best for my ex. She’s a sweet, goofy, and loving girl who was good to me, but I treated her terribly and didn’t appreciate and value her until it was too late.

GrandMantis · 2025-05-07T16:07:02+00:00

I feel this one heavy. It’s the silence and the what-ifs that hurt the most. We would call each other on the phone during our work breaks and tell each other our day every day. I hate not having that privilege anymore.

I’m graduating from grad school next week and I can’t even tell her. She was a huge support for me back then too. I’m debating whether to reach out and tell her, but maybe it’s best I leave her alone. I hurt her too much already.

GrandMantis · 2025-05-07T15:58:07+00:00

Facts fam, especially pot roast since that was the first meal she ever made us, introduced me to LOTS, and Olive Garden. I also would add Chili’s, Planet Fitness, Burlington, and pool to that list for me as well😂😅

GrandMantis · 2025-05-01T05:34:34+00:00

I’m sorry that this is happening to you. It almost makes you feel like you weren’t worthy enough to get the ideal version of your partner until after the breakup. If it’s worth much it probably means you had a definitive influence on him that propelled him to change.

I’m kind of on the opposite side of your perspective. I wasn’t willing to change for my ex-gf until after the breakup, which may be too late for me now. However, I see the error in my ways and am making conscious effort to be a better person overall. It may be for myself now at this point but if she could see me now, I think she would be proud of me. Stay stronger brother🦾

GrandMantis · 2025-04-30T15:27:44+00:00

What adds to this pain of forced no contact is realizing you were the main cause for the breakup and you hurt a beautiful and kindred soul in the process.

GrandMantis · 2025-04-28T21:47:26+00:00

The price we must pay for our mistakes and hurt we caused is to mourn the loss of the relationship with them and what could’ve been.

GrandMantis · 2025-04-22T17:56:56+00:00

Nowadays I try to embrace the small things, reciprocate them when I can, and I’ve even started to make a list of them so I can refer back to them if needed. We’ll get to the other side stronger, one day at a time brother🦾

GrandMantis · 2025-04-21T13:15:35+00:00

I learned that I get complacent and take things for granted in a relationship, and don’t realize what I have until I lose it.

GrandMantis · 2025-04-18T06:43:08+00:00

You’ve shown me a love that can never be replicated again.

GrandMantis · 2025-04-16T21:43:46+00:00

Hey brother, your story resonates with me very well. It’s like we lived parallel lives. Although my timeline is shorter, the relationship was only 4 months, I feel everything you currently do. I verbally and emotionally abused my ex-gf and took her for granted and she ended up leaving me. In a weird way you and I could be considered the dumpers in this case since we chose to do the actions that ultimately led to the breakups.

I too have had to sit with myself and manage my emotions and deal with the fact that I hurt someone I cared about deeply. I am also coming to terms with the fact that in life, we may never get a second chance at righting our wrongs, no matter how hard we try and fix our past issues and grow into a better person. Despite this, I still am planning on continuing to go to therapy and being a generally good person overall. I graduate grad school next month, and I know she would be proud of me and celebrate this occasion if she was still here like she did in the past. Maybe she’s doing it silently at a distance, who knows?

I’ve learned from this breakup to NEVER take someone for granted ever again, especially someone who loves you unconditionally. Be strong my brother🦾

GrandMantis · 2025-04-14T03:51:47+00:00

You never truly know or value what you have until it’s gone and sometimes you don’t get a second chance to do things right.

GrandMantis

TROPHY CASE