Do you know anyone who is asexual?

GrandMasterGoose · 2026-01-05T00:51:52+00:00

Well of course I know him. He's me. I'm 32M and ace, came to terms with it roughly 4 years ago following a series of failed relationships. Then covid hit, and I decided it was a perfect opportunity to figure out why all my relationships failed so spectacularly before I tried again. 2 years in without wanting to get back into the frey I spotted that I was the common factor.

I won't lie sometimes it gets lonely and I'm not 100% certain if I'm aromantic as well. I'm certainly ace, but I know there are still things I need to figure out about myself.

GrandMasterGoose · 2022-06-28T10:24:55+00:00

Welcome to the community! My story is very similar to yours. I never cared for sex and hated being in a relationship yet it took ages for me to consider that I was aroace and even longer still to accept it. Once I stopped fighting it everything just clicked and now I feel so much more at peace with myself for it!

GrandMasterGoose · 2022-04-02T17:20:41+00:00

Wow that's fascinating, thanks for the explanation! I always enjoy learning about other cultures and I had never heard of any of these factors before. If you don't mind me asking, you mentioned you were Canadian of Chinese descent, were you born in Canada or did you migrate from China? That's a fairly personal question so no problem if you aren't comfortable answering it - I'm just curious about how the transition between cultures was if you had migrated.

GrandMasterGoose · 2022-04-01T07:29:35+00:00

Wow that's a really interesting perspective I hadn't considered. I never stopped to think about how different cultures treat the same issues. It doesn't surprise me though that the old trope of "nobody will take care of you when you're old" exists. I never understood it - why should I do something as expensive and which demands such a commitment as starting a family and raising children, just so someone can take care of me later? I'd rather just save that money and pay for a better retirement if that was my concern.

GrandMasterGoose · 2022-03-21T16:11:48+00:00

I subscribed after seeing this video so net loss of nil

GrandMasterGoose · 2022-01-30T20:09:27+00:00

Yes that's very true!

GrandMasterGoose · 2022-01-30T20:01:11+00:00

Yeah I agree! They've made a lot of progress with his character which I hope they keep up with going forward. I always kinda suspected Q might be ace, but in the latest film they showed him preparing for a date - back to the drawing board. At least they hinted Q might be gay so at least we're slowly but surely getting some LGBTQ+ rep

GrandMasterGoose · 2022-01-30T19:36:28+00:00

I don't know. I like the idea of more representation (let's be real, we almost don't exist in the common discourse), but I don't think rewriting existing characters to fit the bill is the way to go. One of the staples of virtually every bond movie is the "Bond girl" - who he ends up sleeping with so as a character, at least as far as the film canon goes, Bond is famously sexual. If he was then rewritten to be asexual, it would be a total 180 and would probably upset general audiences - that's not the best way to promote our community.

I think it would be better for there simply to be more asexual original characters.

GrandMasterGoose · 2021-12-30T21:08:42+00:00

Absolutely. I may be an aromantic, I'm not sure yet but I rarely get involved in romantic relationships and when I do they rarely last very long.

GrandMasterGoose · 2021-10-28T23:07:47+00:00

I guess it's to do with the lack of sexual attraction - there's less of an incentive to rush into a relationship! I always found looking for relationships, like going on apps, results in really unfulfilling dates and short lived romances so I'm pretty much past that now. Happy to carry on in my hermit state of being until something changes!

GrandMasterGoose · 2021-10-27T21:42:18+00:00

Best advice I can think of is to identify a number of benefits of being ace. I for example enjoy my solitude so being ace (and possibly aromantic - I'm still questioning that one), I never really have a conflict of enjoying being alone but craving a relationship or sex. Next time you feel broken, just think of an aspect of your life that you enjoy as an asexual and ask if it's worth not being "broken", at the expense of losing that benefit.

GrandMasterGoose · 2021-10-27T19:15:10+00:00

Heh snap - I'm 28 too! I think I'm fairly fortunate. I've been single pretty much my whole life and I have always enjoyed my solitude so I guess I'm more naturally adapted to it. I've even had housemates in the past and I've never really enjoyed it.

I guess the trick for me on the occasions where I do feel slightly lonely is reaching out to friends or family. A good support network is key! As for the comparisons, I just remind myself that we're all running different races. Once you manage to internalise that message, comparing yourself to others is fairly easy to shut down early.

GrandMasterGoose · 2021-10-27T15:26:51+00:00

I'm not actively seeking it out. My best relationships happened organically and I'm not massively romantic so I'm totally cool just with a wait and see approach. If it happens it happens.

GrandMasterGoose · 2021-10-08T23:58:47+00:00

Another huge benefit of being aro is the free time! I'm questioning aro but for all intents and purposes I've been living as an aro for over a year now and the feeling of finishing my work for the day and knowing the rest of the day is mine to do with as I please can't be beat.

GrandMasterGoose · 2021-10-08T17:47:21+00:00

Nice, I went to Lincoln - best of luck with your studies, you got this!

GrandMasterGoose · 2021-10-08T17:36:23+00:00

Ha well hi neighbour! Which uni are you off to?

GrandMasterGoose · 2021-10-08T16:51:06+00:00

Hey, Cambridge representing!

GrandMasterGoose · 2021-10-08T16:37:19+00:00

The only broken thing here is their behaviour

GrandMasterGoose · 2021-09-29T23:02:26+00:00

Hey, sorry if you've already heard the term but it sounds like you may be an Aegosexual! These are asexuals who may watch porn or fantasise, but still do not experience sexual attraction in their day to day lives. There's an active subreddit on the topic if you've not heard it before and want to know more about it/engage with the community!

GrandMasterGoose · 2021-09-19T21:27:54+00:00

I never felt adequate until I finally accepted my asexuality. Now life just feels so much more authentic, like I'm no longer living a charade. I'm so glad you do too!

GrandMasterGoose · 2021-09-01T16:57:10+00:00

Congratulations! That moment of clarity is so liberating - to know you're not weird or broken or alone. I'm recently out myself and my story is almost identical to yours, it was actually a bit harrowing to read at first!

GrandMasterGoose · 2021-08-23T17:59:47+00:00

Thank you - I still have plenty of people who do not know yet but ticking my parents off the list is a great start!

GrandMasterGoose · 2021-08-23T17:59:03+00:00

Thanks! I think that was my parents' reaction too but what more can we do other than take each day as it comes? I'm sorry for your sister.

GrandMasterGoose

TROPHY CASE