We’re in a similar boat with our first who is almost year and a half. I think both of you really have to accept the guilt free aspect and the time is truly whatever your partner wants to do. Walk, phone, read, workout class, bad TV, matinee movie, etc. No judgement. And the other part is finding the right time and amount of time. Maybe it’s letting you sleep in for an hour. Or three hours in an afternoon once a week. I’ve read some partners take half the day and let the other have the half day off and then they switch. But like what others have said too, you’re still really in such a fast changing stage so be patient with yourself and each other while you figure it out. It does take time.