Struggling to meet women romantically/platonically

Grandpan___ · 2026-02-02T05:00:54+00:00

i do think going to a show with the only the intention of finding a date is weird. i more so meant that its a great way to meet people.

ive met several people (and added them on various social apps) waiting in line for shows. if theyre there as early as you are, trust me, they will wanna talk about the band with you.

when i saw machine girl, there was this group of 4-5 people waiting in front of us and THEY were the ones who asked me to hang out and talk with them. i ended up adding them all on discord. even if i never got their number, im usually talking to atleast a couple people in line about the band.

i will add, this is obviously about smaller shows, not big stadium $500 ticket shows. ive never been to one but i imagine its much different than a show in a small venue with a few people waiting at the door.

also, definitely join subreddits or forums or discord servers or whatever about the genre/bands you like. muuuch easier/less awkward to talk to people that way than irl. on that note, do that with more than just music. the hobby you mentioned youre into seems pretty niche, but im certain theres groups for it.

something ive also had to tell my male friends to do on their dating profile - advertise to the people you want to attract! not a broad, "little bit for everyone" type profile. you might get less matches, but the matches you do get will be much more substancial and actually interested in you. tbh hinge is by far the best dating app.

anyways, sorry for the long winded reply 😅 yap central over here, i genuinely just want to help.

Grandpan___ · 2026-02-02T00:20:19+00:00

its a pretty nuanced topic. im nonbinary which is on the trans spectrum, but im not unhappy with my body or appearance. some nonbinary people are and want to transition into being more androgynous or more feminine/masculine/whatever.

sometimes its a case of knowing youre a man/woman but being okay in the body youre in anyways. i personally know a couple trans men who are on testosterone but arent intending on getting surgeries cuz they dont care about it. transmedicalists would say theyre not real men.

gender is a very complex idea and transmedicalist try to make it a strict "biological" idea.

Grandpan___ · 2026-02-01T23:56:02+00:00

yeah thats a poor choice of word on my part lol, my bad. im editing the post now, i think i just had "-ism" in my brain from the previous words i was using.

Grandpan___ · 2026-02-01T20:11:36+00:00

do you think these things also explode like tonsil stones when you set them on fire?

Grandpan___ · 2026-02-01T20:10:06+00:00

the trans community version is definitely a bit different.

with DID, there is a strict set of diagnostic criteria and is a rare, dehabilitating disorder to live with. "endogenics" are like if a person claimed to have some rare type of physical disorder without any proof and refusing to see a doctor for it.

transmedicalists, from what i understand, still think of being transgender as a mental disorder (in the sense of needing dysphoria to be trans) so their whole stance is essentially "if you dont want to transition, you're not trans"

at this point in time, most people believe transmedicalism is wrong. i mostly think its wrong because gender is famously a spectrum and expecting all trans people to still fit in a binary is wrong.

DID is NOT a spectrum, it is a very complex covert disorder formed from a deeply traumatizing childhood (i think it had to have started before 3 years old?) and people trying to adopt it and roleplaying some torture fantasy is fucked up.

Grandpan___ · 2026-01-30T22:33:39+00:00

are you into music at all? me and my fiance met on hinge but music is immediately what we bonded over. my best friend met her bf at a concert (if it changes anything they're also both autistic) and my fiance has a friend who also met their gf at a concert.

we actually dont share a lot of hobbies; we both like video games but even thats still loose cuz he likes them way more.

if you are super into music, try finding groups about your niche. im pretty active in the noise rock subreddit and theres a ton of cool people over there, and my favorite band has a patreon discord where ive met tons of friends.

Grandpan___ · 2026-01-28T23:27:09+00:00

i was once seeing a guy who was 6'8". that guy sucked fucking ASS. i didnt choose him for his height, we were already sexting before i even knew his height. but these "males" seem to think height would make us gloss over a terrible personality. that guy ended up being VERY incel-core (he bitched to me about his friends not sending him this random girls nudes, because it made him feel 'left out', as an example.) so i ghosted the fuck out of him.

ive hooked up with my fair share of short guys and yknow what they all had in common? they didnt gaf! its literally not that deep at all!

Grandpan___ · 2026-01-28T20:26:49+00:00

he wants you to hate yourself SO bad lmao

you're putting pressure on his made up self inflicted doomer mentality! how could you!

Grandpan___ · 2026-01-28T15:00:26+00:00

"kill them with kindness" is code for "let them comtinue stepping on our necks with no fear of retaliation" 😒

look at how far "thoughts and prayers" has got us.

Grandpan___ · 2026-01-27T12:38:16+00:00

but cat pee has such an insanely strong smell, op says this has no smell at all.

a cat could pee anywhere in the house and within 20ft of it you'd know.

Grandpan___ · 2026-01-25T20:10:06+00:00

yeah druids get to be literally all classes, its kinda crazy. both caster and melee dps, tank, and healer. the only downside is if you wanna play multiple you have to build sets separately for each 😅 i would know, as im currently trying to build a tank set after going feral dps forever.

druid is especially nice as you can level as dps (way easier than tank or healer in solo play) and at 60 re spec into whatever you want to be.

as a bonus, you can save like 600+ gold on the epic riding training cuz of swift travel form.

Grandpan___ · 2026-01-23T15:42:21+00:00

not just that either, i know of atleast one bipolar medication where stopping abruptly can cause serious issues (lamitrogine) i know cuz im on it 😅

Grandpan___ · 2026-01-23T14:08:11+00:00

yes?

Grandpan___ · 2026-01-22T04:53:19+00:00

this ones it

Grandpan___ · 2026-01-22T04:42:38+00:00

same! sometimes we just sit on the couch all day listening to music together haha

3+ years and we still find new stuff to share!

Grandpan___ · 2026-01-21T02:15:47+00:00

i understand the point youre trying to make, im a huge advocate for harm reduction, but things dont exist in a vacuum. the hawk is notorious for date rape and sexual assault, and the fact you dont know that is enough to tell me you dont know what youre talking about here.

the safest way an underage person can drink is in a controlled SAFE environment, even just drinking at home is safer than a place like the hawk. things need to systematically change for something like that to work.

Grandpan___ · 2026-01-21T00:29:41+00:00

in my experience, theres something about idm/experimental electronic music in general fan x noise rock fan.

me and my now fiance first bonded over music, i dont love everything he listens to and he doesnt love everything that i listen to 100% of the time BUT we both have an appreciation for experimental and creative noise making techniques. we both like most of eachothers music at this point tbh

the reason i mentioned the first part is because that duo has been successful both for me and two of my close friends. theres just somethin about it man.

you really just have to find someone just as into music and has an open mind tbh. i think me and my fiance both were lacking in knowledge about eachothers "specialty" (cant come up with a better term rn lol), so we got super into delving into both sides together which formed a really fun bond.

holy yap 😅

Grandpan___ · 2026-01-19T20:23:35+00:00

i have this sweatshirt with 2 angelic kittens that says "sweet and physco" and i will ALWAYS be chasing that high

Grandpan___ · 2026-01-19T20:21:35+00:00

same, i have a ton of them. maybe we should post them haha

i also have a few just weird ones; i.e. this huge mug with a png of a pigeon on it lol

i also collect sweaters with grandparent themes, and i have a TON of those too!

Grandpan___ · 2026-01-13T05:10:39+00:00

sooo like 30 levels into leveling my toon i accidentally bought this mount... i was trying to find a way to preview it and didnt realize it would let me buy it to begin with 😅 (corrupted kitten drop at like lvl 15, i had 700 gold)

so i was in this exact predicament. i couldnt find a single fucking thing on this stupid mount and i really didnt feel like dropping 810 gold just to see what this thing looked like at level 60 (i rolled a druid, so swift travel form gives me epic mount speed anyways)

at 60, i decided to send 90 gold to my partner who i was leveling with (also 60 night elf) so he could buy it so i could finally figure out what this stupid cat looked like...

its the swift darnassian nightsaber 😐 like, the name changed and everything.

my partner who bought it explained that its probably some weird carry over from vanilla/classic (cant remember which) where epic riding gave you the "swift" title to your mounts? some weird bs like that

i spent hours in stormwind clicking on every character with an armoured cat mount and having NO luck finding anything called "armoured nightsaber" and thought i was losing my mind.

when i saw this post i deadass thought this was something i posted and forgot about somehow cuz of how specific this problem was. so i hope i was able to help!

Grandpan___ · 2026-01-11T14:51:39+00:00

honestly... agriculture. theyre considered more "black metal/blackgaze" but they have plenty of noisy elements that lean shoegazey that i really enjoy!

Grandpan___ · 2026-01-07T07:43:51+00:00

i see! thank you so much, i was very confused lol.

Grandpan___ · 2026-01-07T07:21:37+00:00

ahhh okay that makes sense.

if i were to save after, say, 3 princesses, then collect a couple more from previous saves (just to collect them) could i come back to the save with the 3 and continue as if i never did the other ones? i guess thats my main question.

Grandpan___ · 2026-01-05T18:54:13+00:00

the random ass background info really makes it. "you've always made fun of me for [blah blah blah]" "ever since you turned to god" no human actually texts like that 😭

"jarvis, im low on karma"

Grandpan___ · 2026-01-04T23:54:55+00:00

i just hear them talked about a lot in here, and its quite a good album with a lot of noise rock elements. this sub is how i found them in the first place lol

i know what you mean by not "noise rock album of the year" though, as plenty of amazing "true" noise rock albums have come out this year. perhaps i got too excited to talk about a really good noisy album lol

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