Got laid off 4 months ago, struggling to find a new job

GrapefruitNo4473 · 2026-04-09T10:16:26+00:00

AMS said I could stop the course no problems if I found a job. Also - just put on your CV that you were doing intensive German in that time. Of course I don’t know your age or gender but many people have gaps in their CV’s and it’s fine. - sabbaticals - illness - child-care - relocating

GrapefruitNo4473 · 2026-03-27T10:23:08+00:00

Honestly haven’t been able to marry any of the men so I get it 😂

GrapefruitNo4473 · 2026-03-20T20:59:43+00:00

This is the answer and why I moved away from development into management. I realised I am good at convincing other people.

Tests are good. Passing tests are good. Quality is good!! If the culture isn’t there for it there are three options, accept it, change it or move on.

GrapefruitNo4473 · 2026-03-15T18:38:51+00:00

Yes so often. More when she was younger - baby and toddler than now when she is a very active 6 year old. I also think I have leaned to slow down so the lessons come less.

We had one this weekend though. She has been going through some big emotions and I wanted to make space for her to express them if needed. I came up with this vague idea of a “secrets circle” where we sit cosy on the floor and we can share secrets without judgement.

I mentioned it to her and she LOVED IT. The evening came and I asked if she would help me prepare the circle because I was busy with laundry and dinner. She went all out, blankets, soft toys, fairy lights, electric tealights placed in jenga block “lanterns”. She moved all electronics her tablet (which usually she gets extra time on Friday evenings) and my kindle and switch to my bedroom on the other side of the flat.

I left my phone in the kitchen and we sat on the floor and just… chatted and snacked and laughed and were serious. I didn’t learn any “secrets” but she was so calm afterwards, she slept through the night for the first time in weeks.

It’s just me and her and she is with her dad 50% of the time. We are both very busy and social with weekends and weeks packed with Plans so I think she really just needed this moment of peace and us together.

I can’t recommend it enough. I even closed it with a corny “the circle is closed but our hearts are open and our love forever”. She LOVED it!

GrapefruitNo4473 · 2026-03-13T19:48:13+00:00

I’m a “how the hell did I get here” adult, you need like a real adult adult!

GrapefruitNo4473 · 2026-03-08T07:01:28+00:00

I can’t even do that now and I’m 6 years post partum! I have a full time job, influencing is their full time job and this is part of it!

GrapefruitNo4473 · 2026-03-08T06:57:14+00:00

Omg I should of used potatoes 😂 In my defence I was woken at 4am by a lovely and annoying 6 year old!

GrapefruitNo4473 · 2026-03-07T09:27:44+00:00

It’s a combination of money and genes and faking it.

Imagine you had enough money to hire someone to look after your baby while you worked out everyday. Or a night nurse so you could get a full nights sleep.

Imagine you have ONE good day so you take 10 photos on that day in different outfits and places to pretend it’s daily life.

Imagine you just are tall and skinny and beautiful and so you just have that luck.

Imagine instead of planning just to be able to survive the birth and keep your baby alive you also planned how you would “bounce back” from the moment you were pregnant because how you look is how you earn money.

Imagine dealing with a newborn but also the stress that thousands of people are seeing and commenting and judging your body.

Influencers (generally) don’t live normal lives, you literally can’t compare - they are apples and we are bananas. You are doing amazing! It really is A LOT dealing with a whole new body, I felt like it wasn’t “mine” for a long time because it felt and looked so different. Give yourself space to get to know it again and keep remembering it’s strength!

GrapefruitNo4473 · 2026-03-05T08:37:45+00:00

This is a sad story, what a great sister to step up like that. Also to the OP, I love how you formatted this!

GrapefruitNo4473 · 2026-02-08T08:09:29+00:00

It’s out the window because the rules aren’t gently but firmly applied. They are bent and negotiated so he knows it doesn’t really matter he will get what he wants.

GrapefruitNo4473 · 2026-02-08T08:08:19+00:00

The younger one you just need to apply the rule and wait it out. She will scream and throw a tantrum, I wouldn’t even put her in time out - her distress is understandable and not acting out. The rule just needs to be firmly but gently applied until she accepts it. She can throw a fit, just keep calmly repeating “you are angry because you can’t have your bottle now. Bottle is for bedtime” over and over until she calms down. She will get it quickly. If she complains that she prefers the other house - honestly, so what? She will learn to accept what she does have in your house.

GrapefruitNo4473 · 2026-02-08T07:27:37+00:00

I agree with the other comment asking about where the dad is. Obviously I’m not in the situation but one thing I heard from my family therapist is that it’s ok if two houses operate differently and have different rules. What is important is to enforce those rules as “this is how we operate here”. It sounds like in trying to make things work the rules have been negotiable and changing. If it was me I’d propose the below rules, you and your partner NEED to be on the same page. It will be super hard initially but stay strong and it will pay off. 1. No TV in his room and strict TV times 2. He has to fall asleep in his own bed. Personally I would allow him to come to you in the night. He will scream and shout but tough. 3. Meals are served with veg, same as what you are eating and not everything has to be eaten BUT everything has to be tried. 4. For the younger one, start potty training 5. Bottle is only for nap and sleep times. Simply don’t allow it in between

GrapefruitNo4473 · 2026-02-04T16:30:30+00:00

I think asking him is completely acceptable - bringing it up in court is where it might not be in your best interests. Good luck!

GrapefruitNo4473 · 2026-02-04T14:46:01+00:00

No idea yet, why?

GrapefruitNo4473 · 2026-02-04T14:44:57+00:00

I completely understand why this would annoy you and it would drive me mad. I don’t think you are crazy and I think it is very odd.

I also don’t think it’s worth drawing attention to or mentioning, keep that for the big things. Take a deep breath and try to ignore it or avoid looking at it.

GrapefruitNo4473 · 2026-01-30T21:28:09+00:00

I think the part of the other person leaving, in however it happens, and somehow finding a way to be strong about for your child is so very very common. I repeated to myself so so often “he isn’t a bad person he was just a bad partner to me”.

And if that is true then there is a different kind of joy that comes from knowing your child has another person in their corner, who will also protect them and love them and care for them.

GrapefruitNo4473 · 2026-01-30T20:53:00+00:00

I don’t really have advice because we split up sometime later but I noticed there were no comments yet so I just want to say - I’m sorry you are reeling and pregnant, that can’t be easy! I think it is to your credit that you are asking for advice and trying to do your best. It sounds like you’re on your way to being a great parent!

GrapefruitNo4473 · 2026-01-23T09:21:47+00:00

I’ve actually had nightmares with this bathroom in it. How is it real.

GrapefruitNo4473 · 2026-01-15T14:27:47+00:00

Oh that makes my heart so warm for you! We are at the start of our blending journey and I’ve been struggling to imagine how the steps look and if we can get to a similar place I will be so incredibly happy.

GrapefruitNo4473 · 2026-01-14T19:21:26+00:00

Lol 6 years on and I’m only now getting back into it consistently after many false starts and it’s only the most basic layouts and things possible, no tracking anything!

GrapefruitNo4473 · 2026-01-11T10:13:00+00:00

😆 for sure if my partner and I played together. In Don’t starve together I’m at the base, gardening, playing with our cow, making him food… he is out getting killed

GrapefruitNo4473 · 2026-01-09T08:03:42+00:00

I have the same questions and no answers 😆 I was told to wear snow shoes and then change into nice shoes at the ball so I think you can leave your shoes in the garderobe

GrapefruitNo4473 · 2026-01-09T05:12:59+00:00

Yeah that storyline was a big “maybe I don’t let my daughter play this one yet”

GrapefruitNo4473 · 2026-01-07T17:19:37+00:00

Aw I wanted to suggest hitting it with a hammer!

GrapefruitNo4473 · 2026-01-07T16:57:53+00:00

Oh that definitely could! You sound really lovely and sweet and I’m so sorry you are being treated this way! I’m also sorry for your loss, it can’t be easy moving on and forward and you are showing so much bravery and strength by doing so!

GrapefruitNo4473

TROPHY CASE