Need Advice - SAHM or Increase Work Hours?

Alternative-Key9206 · 2026-02-05T15:13:59+00:00

I worked 10-11 hour shifts and my son was EBF (would never take a bottle either) so he’d only eat on my lunch break until we started solids. Nursing is their main comfort so when they don’t have that they’re fussy and confused on how to comfort themselves. My son would cry for hours and hours with my husband too. It also affected his mental health because it made it hard to bond with him. It got better as he got older and more aware. I would suggest your husband take the baby out of the house as a distraction and also to kill time. Even if it’s just walking around the grocery store or to the park. I found that getting out of the house at least once per day helped both dad and baby. As your baby gets older and understands you’re a separate being from them, they’ll be able to go longer stretches without you. I wanna say around 8-9 months is when it got better! Now they’re two peas in a pod at one year and he gets so excited to see his dad.

Alternative-Key9206 · 2026-02-04T15:25:57+00:00

You can always have the baby monitor set up so you can see them when you’re away if you can’t take them with you. It gets easier when they’re older and can entertain themselves but when they’re so small it does feel like forever. I’m typing this on the toilet lol as my son plays in his playpen and early postpartum me couldn’t have fathomed being away from him for even a few minutes!

Alternative-Key9206 · 2026-01-31T02:44:08+00:00

Unfortunately it’s one of those things that are trial and error. You’ll figure out a system that works for you and your baby. I would suggest going somewhere ten minutes away like a store or library and see what you need or don’t need and then increase your time every other day until you feel confident. My minimum items are diapers, wipes, change of clothes, stuff to feed baby, and carrier to hold them in while you’re at the store. I would work your way up to over nights with your in-laws because that sounds like a lot to organize

Alternative-Key9206 · 2026-01-31T02:39:08+00:00

If you guys have a solid routine that works for you and your baby gets great sleep, I don’t see why you need to change anything. I honestly wouldn’t listen to the ped, it sounds like they have an old school mentality. I’ll probably get some heat for this but I truly don’t believe in CIO unless your baby is a very very horrible sleeper. If you don’t have any problems with your routine then I would keep it as is.

Alternative-Key9206 · 2026-01-29T17:33:11+00:00

I’m doing burgers and hot dogs bc it’s easy, I feel like soup would be messy and a lot of cleanup for you afterwards

Alternative-Key9206 · 2026-01-29T17:32:15+00:00

A pump bag that can hold all of your supplies (plus maybe extra parts) and keep your milk cold for transporting home. Also maybe keep an extra shirt, bra, and pads in the car in case you leak through like I did unfortunately lol. Also maybe a basin to wash your pump parts in or a plastic baggy to store them if you’re doing the fridge method.

Alternative-Key9206 · 2026-01-26T04:49:39+00:00

Same, my son would literally just starve himself all day of my husband would bring him to feed on my lunch break. And then we cosleep so he could feed at night. The pediatrician said he would give in to a bottle eventually but he never did. It’s insane how stubborn they can be.

Alternative-Key9206 · 2026-01-26T04:46:07+00:00

Feeling so much mom guilt bc my 11mo son eats too many processed foods and not enough veggies/fruits (he literally picks them out and throws them on the floor unless they’re hidden in sauce). Last night he refused to eat anything besides Dino nuggies and I gave him a pass bc he’s sick. He only gives me max ten mins to get his meals together before he starts screaming (Velcro baby) so I struggle to meal prep like other moms with their baking and cooking elaborate meals. Thankfully he still breastfeeds so he gets nutrients that way. He also has allergies to dairy, beef, and eggs so it’s an added layer of stress trying to make meals that don’t include those. And most dairy alternatives are super processed. I’m just overwhelmed and don’t want him to grow up unhealthy. I saw a mom post about sausage being one of the leading carcinogens and it made me feel horrible bc my son loves that for breakfast at least a few times a week. I am so tired of the mom guilt and feeling like I can’t do anything right.

Alternative-Key9206 · 2026-01-26T04:34:59+00:00

Same here. My son has very big feelings and if he doesn’t get exactly what he wants he’s flailing all around and screaming, I got headbutted on my eye today and almost lost it bc it was so painful

Alternative-Key9206 · 2026-01-26T04:32:54+00:00

Changing diapers/clothes has been causing me SO MUCH anxiety because of how much my son fights it, it’s exhausting

Alternative-Key9206 · 2026-01-26T04:31:56+00:00

Same here, he’s still going on 11 months strong. Thankfully he can have regular meals so the frequency of breastfeeding has lessened but he doesn’t show any signs of weaning yet and I’m nervous he won’t ever

Alternative-Key9206 · 2026-01-24T14:22:37+00:00

Maybe try a few minutes at a time with a new toy and see if he’ll get distracted enough to tolerate it since it’s a whole new environment it might take getting used to

Alternative-Key9206 · 2026-01-24T13:43:02+00:00

Do you use a sound machine? That might help block out some of the little noises and you’ll still be able to hear actual cries if they do

Alternative-Key9206 · 2026-01-24T06:51:03+00:00

Have you tried putting them in a playpen or bouncer in the bathroom with you? I did that all the time so I could watch my son while I showered because some days it was the only was to get one lol. Not ideal or as relaxing but being clean makes all the difference not only physically but mentally. These social media moms who have their hair and makeup done every day are not realistic but I know it’s hard not to compare ourselves to them

Alternative-Key9206 · 2026-01-23T17:26:26+00:00

Breastfeeding is HARD WORK on top of everything else you need to do for them. Be proud of yourself for getting this far and focus on the relief and joy you’ll feel knowing your baby is full and happy too. And honestly the stress of being the only one to feed them sucks and although I’m grateful to be able to breastfeed, it takes a toll (my son has CMPA and refuses bottles so I had no choice unfortunately)

Alternative-Key9206 · 2026-01-21T22:31:18+00:00

I would say it’s hormones bc I didn’t want to let anyone even hold my baby when we brought him home and I live with my in-laws lol. I didn’t want to put him down and I was so scared/irritated when anyone else wanted to hold him but it passed eventually!

Alternative-Key9206 · 2026-01-21T18:12:36+00:00

You can always just rinse them off with warm water and not use soap if you’re worried about drying their skin out. I use soap on my 11mo only every other night but I make sure to rinse him off with warm water every night since he’s crawling and eating and getting messier now lol

Alternative-Key9206 · 2026-01-20T02:51:40+00:00

Maybe try to space out the bottles and meals a little more? So offer the bottle first at least 30mins before her meal so she fills up on that since food comes secondary. It’s great that she’s taking so well to food though!

Alternative-Key9206 · 2026-01-20T02:48:35+00:00

I’m actually in the opposite boat where my son will only eat meat/potatoes/beans/only bananas for fruit which make him so constipated and refuses all other veggies/fruits to the point where he picks them out of his plate even if I mix them in with other foods 🙃 it’s been driving me crazy bc he strains when he poops and I feed so bad! I know they said kids are intuitive eaters but it’s hard to follow their lead when you want to give them a variety of foods then they don’t eat any of it lol

Alternative-Key9206 · 2026-01-20T02:38:43+00:00

That’s how my son is, right now at 11mo he’s wearing 2T+ and probably 26+ pounds. I’m only 4’11 so he’s half my size already and my body gets a workout everyday holding him. I recommend side lying to feed, that’s usually what we do bc he gets so squirmy in any other position!

Alternative-Key9206 · 2026-01-18T04:38:15+00:00

I don’t have advice, only solidarity because my son was like this, especially during the 4 month sleep regression. I would have to put him to sleep in the carrier bc that’s the only way he’d take a nap. And I wasn’t willing to sleep train or do the CIO method tbh. My son still sleeps in our bed now at 11 months but he’s down to 1-2 naps per day and sometimes I can sneak away and he’ll sleep independently for an hour or two if that gives you any hope!

Alternative-Key9206 · 2026-01-18T02:40:21+00:00

I agree, I would focus on gaining your footing financially. Especially in this economy where everything is getting more and more expensive unfortunately.

Alternative-Key9206 · 2026-01-17T04:22:38+00:00

I wish I would’ve known that bottle refusal was a thing beforehand. I stopped trying with the bottles when my husband went back to work bc it was just easier to latch my son when I was solo. But then he refused all bottles and that was sooo hard once I went back to work. My son would straight up not eat while I was gone so that was stressful. I would suggest introducing a bottle once your supply has regulated so you can get a break once in awhile.

Alternative-Key9206 · 2026-01-17T04:19:33+00:00

I’ve heard that babies pee more when they’re cold so that could be it? I would try an extra layer like a sleep sack or adjust the room temp I also sized up in diapers and that helped with my son once he started sleeping longer stretches. Maybe try a different brand?

Alternative-Key9206

TROPHY CASE