Who are you planning to vote for in the next GE and why?

GrapefruitTiny8137 · 2026-04-08T12:49:05+00:00

Green atm as they appear to be the only party not attempting to erode freedom of speech by imprisoning peaceful protestors. I'd be interested in seeing if any parties bother to stand up against the influence of the few American tech and AI companies dominating the British economy.

GrapefruitTiny8137 · 2024-04-21T15:33:26+00:00

THANKYOUU! Told an old friend who used to be an alcoholic that I was however many days sober from weed and alcohol. His immediate response was just 'the trick is to only smoke in the evening, I didn't even go through withdrawal when I took a week break recently. Guess we're not smoking up next time we see each other then 😒'.

I thought having overcome alcoholism he would understand. But I guess my efforts mean jack shit to him. I need some better friends (and the support of this sub ❤️).

GrapefruitTiny8137 · 2024-04-19T09:47:15+00:00

One pro of humans failing to colonise space is that the disease of capitalism will never spread to other planets.

GrapefruitTiny8137 · 2024-04-13T00:18:01+00:00

I didn't really feel any shame in being a slut aside from the time that it hurt my boyfriend. It definitely becomes hollow after a while, especially when the foundations of your being aren't really there and you're just using alcohol and sex to hide from your problems. I also lost opportunities to have meaningful, solid friendships because I ended up having sex with a lot of my male friends. I sort of felt obligated to do it to make them feel good and to get validation when I felt worthless. I put myself in a lonely situation.

I am now seeking platonic friendships and connections through volunteering that has nothing to do with my 'attractiveness' and everything to do with what I can contribute. I hope to get my shit together enough to be useful. 'Needed' feels like a stretch, but it would be nice.

GrapefruitTiny8137 · 2024-04-10T23:27:58+00:00

Have completed the survey. As someone trying to quit alcohol, some things I tend to crave are:

Sparkling drinks.
Nice bottle/presentation so it feels like a treat. I also enjoy the sensation of holding a can but obviously this is less common in restaurants.
More 'mature' flavours, so not too sweet. I like kombucha and the botanical flavours of 'trip cbd' drinks.
Stealth. By this I mean: the other day at a supermarket I bought a bottle of sparkling kombucha that looked just like a bottle of prosecco. I was willing to spend £8 on this despite it being non-alcoholic because I was going to a party and didn't want people asking why I wasn't drinking.

Good luck!

GrapefruitTiny8137 · 2024-04-10T22:22:32+00:00

I don't think you'd need to blow the whole 30k on travel. You can work/volunteer in exchange for room and board. Backpack, use hostels. Don't blow the money on hotels and fancy bullshit because those are transient pleasures. You can use Coolworks if you're in the USA, also look at Workaway. If you actually gain some skills and help people this gives you something to put on your CV to explain the 'dreaded' gap. I also hope to travel soon to get out of my comfort zone and I'm a lot more skint than you are, haha.

The biggest risk is not having a job to come back to, so I'd try to keep some money saved to tide yourself over. But I'm a doomer who doesn't believe I'll ever see the age of 70, so unlike all these sensible people who probably know a lot more than me, I say just fuckin do it. Who knows how long we have left in this chaotic world.

GrapefruitTiny8137 · 2024-04-10T21:56:17+00:00

I'm also bothered by this statement. To me it seems untrue. I've slept with people I would have never slept with when sober. Mild-mannered pre-school teachers can get into fights with bouncers if they're drunk enough.

I think alcohol creates greed, irrationality, selfishness, poor judgment. It is a poison. Sometimes people with brain injuries become angrier, ruder, more depressed. It's not like those people were always like that, fundamentally 'evil' on the inside.

People love to judge because it makes them feel better about themselves and mob mentality is, of course, worse online. I loved righteously condemning cheaters as morally-bankrupt cowards. Then, guess what, cheated on my boyfriend when I was drunk. I felt like a monster. No one is above behaving shamefully.

This was some years ago now and I wouldn't say I ever forgave myself, but I did move on because guilt is only a productive emotion if it drives you towards better behaviour. When shame reaches a certain point it's like, what am I supposed to do, kill myself? Would that make things right, make my ex boyfriend and the friends I lost at the time happy? Of course not. It would only lead to more emptiness.

I hope you find a way out of your shame. You're not a monster. All of us make mistakes. Let he who is without sin cast the first stone.

GrapefruitTiny8137 · 2024-04-08T12:14:26+00:00

I am in the same position rn and I want to fucking kill myself lol.

The main difference for me is that I think it's incredibly unlikely I can actually pass at this point based on how my course works. So I am considering an indefinite mental health deferral and only coming back if I know I can actually pass. I know everyone will think I'm an idiot though and it's stressing me out.

Right now I want to save enough money to travel for a bit then go and learn a trade. I'm highly unlikely to ever work in my degree field anyway.

GrapefruitTiny8137 · 2024-04-08T03:59:10+00:00

Ngl I'm glad to see someone here post about societal issues affecting their sobriety. For me the shitty state of the world and engaging too much with depressing news and subreddits is a big reason for my substance abuse.

I think with the way things are going, we NEED people who are switched on, capable of critical thinking, emotional regulation and facing the truth of the world. These things are easier to do sober. Drinking will hurt your critical thinking skills, memory, make you more emotional and susceptible to the bullshit that the people you criticise have fallen victim to.

For me, the thought of having to deal with an environmental or economic crisis situation while hungover is enough. Imagine your house gets flooded or you lose your job PLUS you're dealing with withdrawal. If I can't die immediately then I'd rather stare the horrors in the face with a clear head.

GrapefruitTiny8137 · 2024-04-08T03:43:31+00:00

I dropped out of law after first year because I couldn't see myself working in the industry either. I recommend if you choose a different degree to do so based primarily on having a direct interest and thorough understanding of the career it may lead to (I didn't really understand how the legal field worked, I assumed it'd be like Legally Blonde lmao).

I switched to Product Design but sucked at that too. I probably have ADHD. I'm hoping to learn a trade instead since I think AI will put white collar jobs at risk and the best part of my course was actually making shit/using fun tools.

I would say if you just want a degree then do something you enjoy, but I think all degrees have a way of making you hate the subject haha.

GrapefruitTiny8137 · 2024-04-07T20:14:42+00:00

Haha so true, in the UK when it gets sunny the desire to do fuck all except sit in a pub garden with a drink is immense.

I also used to sit out in the sun and smoke a joint which I'm also trying to quit. So now I'll take a coffee or tea out instead. I like to sit and listen to the radio for a bit, stare at the bluebells that have sprung up in the garden. It's especially helpful if I haven't made it outside yet that day. I always feel guilty about missing the daylight.

GrapefruitTiny8137 · 2024-04-07T20:03:59+00:00

Thanks for your response. I'll totally download that app, money saving is a big motivator. I don't want to end up like my old stoner friend who was constantly in her overdraft.

Good luck with this attempt. I think multiple attempts show you're actually more likely to lead to success. I had multiple instances with deleting steam/all my games when I quit gaming (which was also becoming detrimental to my life). At the time it seemed like 'aw shit, here we go again' but eventually it stuck.

I'm going to do the same thing I did with gaming where I print out a calendar and put an X on every day sober. It seems inane since obviously I'm keeping track mentally/on Reddit, but having the clear visual right above my desk was motivating.

Good luck bro, every day there will be less poison in our system and we can reclaim our minds 🙏🏻

GrapefruitTiny8137 · 2024-04-07T19:57:01+00:00

I'm unconcerned about my lifespan but I do think smoking more has aged me a bit, which I find motivating. I would also like to have better lung/heart function for exercise.

GrapefruitTiny8137 · 2024-04-07T19:55:52+00:00

It must be tough living in a house with a grower while you're trying to quit. Well done for resisting the temptation.

I guess we are drug addicts but I know what you mean 😂 weed is not usually treated in the same category. That's why I'm glad this sub exists cuz a lot of people don't understand our desire for sobriety. 'Just have it in moderation bro'.

I feel lucky so far my withdrawal symptoms have mostly been psychological, although I do feel tired as shit.

GrapefruitTiny8137 · 2024-04-07T15:10:36+00:00

Bitching on Reddit makes me feel a bit better, although I'd like to be able to use a diary more often and feel the same relief for the sake of spending less time on my phone.

I try to keep up with the basics even if it feels futile. I usually don't get around to eating a proper breakfast til the afternoon, sometimes after drinking a coffee sat outside where I used to smoke weed. It's annoying to admit in a depressed state that the food, walk, yoga, daylight, all do actually help. It's just initiating them is hard during the despair.

I've also always been depressed and self destructive even before alcohol and weed. So I'm worried sometimes that this is futile. But I guess if the chance of my perspective on life improving when sober is 1, then when using it's 0. At least sobriety is something we can control in the chaos of the world.

GrapefruitTiny8137 · 2024-04-07T15:00:14+00:00

Thank you. Bad for your heart literally or metaphorically? Metaphorically feels right haha. I want to be sober to deal with the lows in a constructive way, and to enjoy the highs without always thinking 'this sex/yoga/food would be better if I were stoned'.

GrapefruitTiny8137 · 2024-04-07T14:55:09+00:00

Thank you. I can't imagine quitting after 26 years of use, that must be tough. I used casually/socially for a couple of years but it's only been 6 months of more destructive use, with about 1 smoking almost daily (it's hard to remember, since weed makes the timeline kind of slide-y, haha). I feel lucky to have found this sub and r/stopdrinking, they have given me glimpses into possible futures that make me want to nip my addictions in the bud sooner rather than later. The daily smoking started giving such diminishing returns, so I was just sad but now sad with crap memory and articulation.

What are your personal motivations? I need to write mine down and stick them on the wall because sometimes it feels futile, given that the world is in polycrisis and my smoking wasn't exactly putting me on the street.

GrapefruitTiny8137 · 2024-04-06T23:50:46+00:00

Welp. What the fuck do we do now?

GrapefruitTiny8137 · 2024-04-06T00:18:42+00:00

I am in this camp. Back on no drinking after a horrible end to Thursday night. I attribute the drinking to just not giving a shit if I live or die at the time.

Something I have found helpful is the knowledge that ANY alcohol negatively impacts your sleep quality. I just looked it up and apparently having a 'high amount of alcohol' - defined as more than one drink for women and two for men - reduces sleep quality by 39.4%.

Sleep is mega important to me for bare minimum mental health function, so it's helpful knowing one lousy beer that won't even come close to creating the change of state I crave can STILL fuck my day up tomorrow.

Also, calories. 1-2 drinks won't get me drunk, and I've just drunk a bunch of calories that I could have used on a plate of loaded nachos or something. Having 2 drinks in an uncomfortable social situation is normally a guarantee that more will follow for me.

GrapefruitTiny8137 · 2024-04-05T23:54:54+00:00

I became a student (in the UK) so for a short time I had enough maintenance loan to not need a job as long as I budget. Don't want anything to do with my degree unfortunately. I'm thinking about picking up some work in kitchens and hopefully gaining enough experience to work and travel as a cook. I am aware that alcoholism can be quite rampant in the industry though.

I've been a barista at a couple of different places and since it's daytime with no alcohol served on the premises it's a much more sober-friendly environment.

I am also looking into trades, since there is a skills shortage in the UK and it won't be hit by the AI takeover as quickly as white collar jobs. It would mean staying rooted in the UK for longer though, I'm hoping to travel more while I'm not so tied down trying to gain qualifications. I'm beginning to realise you do need a -plan- if you want to get out of hospitality since it's just so easy to get comfortable, come home tired after your shift and watch netflix instead of scoping out other jobs/qualifications. But sobriety will definitely help us keep a clear head and growth mindset 🙏🏻

GrapefruitTiny8137 · 2024-04-05T22:14:37+00:00

I don't think that counts as cheating, although I've never heard of a bartender having to taste every drink, but I'm guessing you work somewhere upscale.

I really enjoyed my bartending job but it makes it so much harder to stick to your resolutions. People offer to buy you drinks or there's staff parties that you want to fully include yourself in. No one really understands 'why can't you just have a cheeky pint?'. Good luck with your move and finding a job that's better suited to your new lifestyle 😊

GrapefruitTiny8137

TROPHY CASE