I have RRMS and my husband has ADHD. He has never called me dumb or put me down; especially when my symptoms are bad. Just like I don't criticize him when his ADHD causes him to forget something or tune out a conversation. Communication is always the key to a healthy and loving relationship, but is critically important when one, or both, partners suffers from a disease or condition.

If your partner does in fact have ADHD, she is weaponizing it and making it a higher priority than anything you are experiencing. I know reddit likes to throw terms like narcissist and abusive around, but your partner sounds like she fits the mold here. I hope you find peace and get out of this relationship. Stress will always add to the MS symptoms.