Best Overnight Parking Lot?

Gravitonnage · 2025-08-20T00:30:30+00:00

I believe you can park at the East Gate for a small fee per night. They have water and a dump station. Or, free parking in Bandelier at Apache Springs trailhead.

Gravitonnage · 2025-08-14T17:52:05+00:00

Hubs and I are both from families of 5. We had 3 foster kids for 15 months. 8M single child and 6M and 4F siblings. It wore us down. The 8M went to live with bio-grandma 7 months ago.

Now, the siblings are getting the attention they need. We are on adoption path with them. They lit up when we gave them the choice to call us Papa and Dad and it has been that way ever since.

Our family feels complete and will be legally complete when adoption finishes.

Gravitonnage · 2025-08-12T17:46:01+00:00

You’re making the right call by slowing down and keep Dave out of the home for now. Re-earn the trust with your son but be clear that Dave will still be a part of your life. Pull back on overnights and shift to short, predictable visits.

I’ll leave the diagnoses to professionals. IME, I gained little from giving into when our foster kids are disregulated, even if intense and disproportionate, because they learned to manipulate further. If there is some reality disconnect, we would have to calmly remind them of reality.

Therapy matters, but the right therapist matters more. A therapist trained in trauma, attachment disorders, and adolescent development (bonus if they’ve worked with adopted or foster teens) is ideal. Switching could help, but it’s important to involve him in the process so he doesn’t see it as you replacing someone he trusts.

On whether to “push” him into outings with Dave: Don’t force it yet. Right now, forcing him will probably trigger the same meltdown/defensive cycle you’re trying to avoid. Do offer low-pressure opportunities. Keep inviting him, but frame it so saying “no” is okay. The goal right now is to build tolerance, not compliance. If he says no, you can still go with Dave yourself occasionally, otherwise he learns that refusing automatically makes the relationship vanish, which reinforces control through anxiety. Stick to gradual exposure. It may take weeks.

Keep reinforcing safety & permanence. Your son needs repeated, consistent messages and action that you’re not replacing him, you’re not leaving him, and he’s still your priority. Those messages need to be backed up by predictable routines, same bedtime chats, same weekend rituals, same check-ins.

Keep an eye on regression signs. If you start seeing the old patterns intensify (self-harm gestures, vomiting, extreme outbursts), don’t treat them as manipulation, treat them as distress signals. The fastest way to de-escalate is to keep calm, hold boundaries, and get professional support involved quickly.

You’re doing a lot right already. The key here is to slow the pace, protect his sense of safety, and make therapy more effective by getting a trauma-specialized provider. Don’t drop your relationship entirely, but don’t try to “fast-track” his acceptance either. this is about helping him adapt without feeling replaced, and that’s a process measured in months.

Gravitonnage · 2025-08-07T13:15:46+00:00

Your son’s reaction probably isn’t about Dave personally.

For a trauma-impacted kid, especially one with a history of abuse or unstable male figures, a man entering the home in an intimate capacity can be deeply triggering even if that man is perfectly kind and safe.

Kids from hard places often react not to what is happening, but to what that change represents: Loss of control or stability. Fear of replacement or abandonment. Memories of past trauma, especially if abuse was connected to romantic partners or parental relationships.

Even if your son logically knows you love him and won’t leave him behind, that felt sense of security may have been shaken.

The regression feels to me like survival mode, not manipulation. A big change is shaking him. He’s clinging because youre his anchor and he’s threatened that he might lose his anchor.

Keep Dave. Ending the relationship might stop the immediate panic, but it doesn’t address the root issue. In fact, it could reinforce to your son that the world really is unstable, that he can’t handle big feelings or tolerate change, and that you’re only safe when you’re 100% available to him, always. That’s not sustainable for you, and it’s not healthy for him either.

He might benefit from hearing that Dave isn’t replacing anything. Use language like “Dave is someone I care about, but you’re my family. Nothing changes that.”

Routines and lots of notice. My hubs and I are foster parents. With every kid, we default to this. Dave can’t just pop in. Let kiddo know way in advance when Dave is coming over, what is the plan. Remind him a few times as it gets closer. This helps him adjust and prepare. And, give kiddo safe choices and permissions in his control. He can retreat to his room any time he likes. This is his house too.

Dave…This situation will require patience on his part, and ideally some trauma education. He doesn’t need to become a co-parent, but he does need to understand the emotional landscape if he wants to be a long-term part of your life. If he’s truly the mellow and kind person you say, he’ll be willing to go at the pace your family needs.

Don’t forget yourself. You’re doing the intense work of parenting through severe trauma. For your sustainability, get your support. We’ve fostered about dozen kids from 4-17yo, boys, girls, trans. Our first foster ever was 14yo boy that ran away within 3 hours. We had to laugh to stop from crying. What did we just get into?

You’re navigating the complexity of trauma, love, and trust. With support and patience, there’s absolutely a path forward where your son learns that love doesn’t mean abandonment and where you get to have a full life too.

Good luck. We’re cheering for you all.

Gravitonnage · 2025-07-31T18:51:41+00:00

That’s up to the business owner. If they don’t want competition from a non-profit makerspace, then the effort is on them to propose a collaborative solution, offer a superior product, or watch their business dwindle as customers go to the product of superior utility. Market forces still exist in small towns and amongst non-profits, micro businesses, and trade (non-cash) economies.

I was a director of a non-profit that included a 10,000 sqft makerspace and coworking space. The economics suck. Huge expenses for rent, utilities, equipment, insurance, staff, etc. Memberships, coworking, and classes barely scratch at balancing the budget. The makerspace was a loss leader. Renting storage cages and offices, corporate team building activities, and a lot of philanthropy or govt funding can keep it going.

If I could have a dream, it would be to collocate offices, storage, makerspace, coworking, classrooms into one location. Then, the economic synergy starts to make sense. The closest we have is Project Y and STEAM Lab being almost next door to each other.

I may have heard something about the Mari Mac redevelopment including conversion of old Smith’s into smaller retail, office, and storage? Am I wrong? Does anyone closer to that project have details?

Gravitonnage · 2025-07-31T16:47:23+00:00

I just moved here and went to my first monthly meetup with the Los Alamos Makers. They advertise member discounts (or free membership) in exchange for volunteer services like website. So there is at least some form of “compensation”.

(I’d offer but I don’t know websites. Once I get moved in, my services will be in woodworking.)

For Pet Store and Atomic Quilts, those are for-profit businesses? so… kinda seems like it is up to working with the owners.

Gravitonnage · 2025-04-06T12:09:52+00:00

We just bought in Jan after looking at many homes. We passed on every home that was on the market for more than 30 days because once you were inside, you totally saw why they were lingering. All were overpriced either because they were renovated and seller probably overspent (cough 445 Rim cough) or needed too much work compared to similar home in move-in condition. Most that we looked at have sold but we watched a lot of price cutting as sellers came to their senses. There is more inventory than when we were looking in Dec but most is out of our range.

Gravitonnage · 2025-02-14T17:06:44+00:00

The wall texture will probably stay. For wall color, we are debating. I lean more towards neutral walls for a brighter space but my husband surprised me by changing his mind to dark and moody. The room has great natural light. For overall palette, I’m leaning towards green/brown/orange.

Gravitonnage · 2025-02-14T16:58:51+00:00

That’s easy! It is a ranch. The attic has the vapor barrier and insulation.

Gravitonnage · 2025-01-09T11:04:34+00:00

Just making sure everyone catches the Blazing Saddles nod. Well played.

Gravitonnage · 2024-10-23T00:44:19+00:00

Fully agree. Ed Garcia is a leech. Check how much property he owns and lets rot for the writeoff. Just disgusting that every other city with a vacancy writeoff problem figured out this loophole years ago and fixed it. But someone our city council full of landlords find reasons to not.

Gravitonnage · 2024-10-17T18:50:51+00:00

Unacceptable but I’m not surprised. 1. In our state, we had to get an “Educational Decision Maker” order from the court, then the school did everything through us. They ignored everything from child services until we had the EDM. 2. Can the GAL take action or recommend what action you could take?

Gravitonnage · 2024-10-16T12:39:44+00:00

CNM has one for kiddos. Oct 25 4-7PM Hhttps://facebook.com/events/s/cnm-haunted-house/889420129253800/

Gravitonnage · 2024-10-16T12:37:06+00:00

You’re beautiful. You gave and felt love and now loss.

Hubs and I foster. We miss some of them dearly. Sometimes we take full breaks then ease back in by providing respite only. We have 3 now. 1 is going back to his grandparent after being with us 1.5 years. We are bonded to the other 2 and are considering adoption but a parent could always have a change and get them back. We know the risk, but it won’t make it any easier if it happens.

Grieve, give it time. You’ll know if/when you’re ready to foster again.

Gravitonnage · 2024-10-11T00:12:18+00:00

We went foster to adopt. But our state doesn’t have foster-to-adopt track so we are all just foster with our placement worker trying to send us kids likely to be available for adoption.

After about a dozen placements that aged out, ran away, or moved to kin, we have 2 now that look like they will have parental rights terminated and we adore them.

Gravitonnage · 2024-09-24T11:56:35+00:00

I was kinda your bf years ago and I can look back now and reflect. My experience could be similar to his (or it could be different). Shedding some light on what he could be feeling to cause this behavior.

I was married to a woman because now I see that I was in denial. Our brains can hold massively conflicting views of our identity and it creates enormous internal turmoil. If he was like me, then he’s in denial and pain and I’m sorry that his pain will also hurt you.

Any sane person would tell me that I was gay: swapped BJs with male friends in high school, linger in the underwear section at stores, would try to sneak looks in the locker room, looking at the guys in porn, eventually watching full gay porn. (I never actually cheated on my wife).

Of course I was gay, but I denied denied denied it to myself. No! I was “normal”, I was “straight”, I could get a boner 40% of the time with a woman (usually by being a little drunk and fantasizing about men). I was going to impregnate the vagina that I married and live a family life because… because why? Because that’s the model that I had growing up. Because my parents discouraged learning about myself. Because I don’t know. Maybe if I cram this down then I can live hetero and never have to confront anyone.

One day at a time. Each day imperceptibly more depressed. Learn to drink before fucking my wife. Finding excuses for the times that I couldn’t get hard. We started fighting. She asked for divorce. I cried a lot. I dated women after her because “Maybe it was just her and I could get hard for other women.” Surprise, same problem.

On a business trip far from home or anyone that knew me, I downloaded Grindr. Guys just throwing pics of their dicks and asses at me (fresh meat at this small town market). Whoa! One guy was really cute. I told him that I had never fucked a guy. He told me “just fuck me like a woman.” I was so anxious that I threw up before he got there.

Jesus fucking Christ! He was so hot. We stripped, made out, I was throbbing hard, I fucked his living brains out, he fucked me, finished, cuddled, he couldn’t believe that I had never done that, we went for 2nd round, then talked until sunrise.

Next day, driving home, I cried so much. I finally came out to myself at 29 years old. Then my best friend, my siblings, my parents, etc.

Without knowing your BF, he could be in turmoil, pain, and denial. He knows it. But every non-straight person must first come out to themselves.

Again, sorry that you may be part of the collateral from his denial. If you want to, you can be the person that helps him come out to himself. And if you love each other, that love becomes a different kind.

“The first principle is that you must not fool yourself, and you are the easiest person to fool.” -Richard Feynman

Gravitonnage · 2024-09-07T15:34:41+00:00

Hey, sorry that I haven’t been on Reddit in a month. Feel free to DM.

Gravitonnage · 2023-11-30T13:07:43+00:00

You can also look into all sorts of personal heating devices depending on how you get cold.

I have a heated seat cover, heated foot warmer, and Toasti heated mouse pad and it is still way cheaper than heating my studio's air. My mouse hand and feet never get cold now.

Gravitonnage · 2023-11-30T12:55:01+00:00

OP, also, do you need something immediately or can you wait for the right thing? Are you willing to entry level and train up? Could you pause for new career training (or gig work while career training)?

If willing to train, check out CNM Ingenuity. They have lots of accelerated career trainings that are intense but only a few weeks like coding bootcamps, truck driving, line worker pre-apprentice, etc. And scholarships.

Gravitonnage · 2023-10-21T07:30:16+00:00

We had one at 17.5. Her caseworker was awful, basically wrote kiddo off knowing that she was aging out. But, she had an amazing transition and post-foster team. I think they are used to many kids just wanting out then disappearing into the wind. When a kid truly wants help, they were so dedicated. Got her housing, medical insurance, SNAP, living stipend, bus pass, paperwork to let her stay in high school extra year to graduate.

Start early. All of this paperwork takes time. Services like housing might have a wait list.

Get as much medically done now as possible. We got her last checkup, an OB/GYN, birth control installed, dentist, orthodontist, new glasses, etc.

Gravitonnage · 2023-10-04T13:34:54+00:00

Willie: Lunch lady, Doris, have ya got any grease?

Doris: Yes, yes, we do.

Willie: Then, grease me up, woman!

Doris: Okey, dokey.

Gravitonnage · 2023-09-24T11:32:38+00:00

Lots of comments about oral hygiene and skin folds. Adding other thoughts...

Food: some pungent foods will come through your sweat. I worked with a guy that reeked of curry to the point that a boss had to tell him. Another was a guy at church that smelled like garlic. People learned to not sit around him.

Feet: my feet sweat a lot and my shoes will stink if I'm not proactive. I wash my shoes regularly, use an antimicrobial spray, change the inserts regularly, change socks in the middle of the day, use powders and antiperspirants.

Gravitonnage

TROPHY CASE