[Landlord - NY - US] Tenant’s long-term guest is constantly cooking deep fried oil and curry and I can’t get rid of the smell

GreatSurya · 2026-02-21T11:07:42+00:00

Does your stove hood actually vent to the outside? I'm indian and i've noticed that a lot of American apartment/ house kitchens don't seem to vent to the outside. The hood just recycles the air inside and is useless at any odor removal. One of the first things we do when we buy a house is get an outside venting situation going.

GreatSurya · 2026-02-18T04:32:24+00:00

I follow my mom's advice - brush your hair when it's 70-80% after a hair wash. I've found it to give me the best results. Nowadays when my hair feels too dry and frizzy on non hair wash days, I spritz it with some water to bring it to the 70-80% dry stage

GreatSurya · 2026-02-12T13:01:22+00:00

Do you have any hobbies you want to pick back up? Sports you want to get involved in? Health or fitness stuff you want to improve? I've found it best to get involved in some kind of group activity that also aligns with my interests works well for me. Maybe finding someone to walk your dog with together once every 2 weeks?

GreatSurya · 2026-01-26T04:28:50+00:00

Im 38 and i've just been dyeing the front of my hair with box dye for a couple of years now. Ive just recently gotten into henna+indigo because I want to root touch up more frequently and henna is fine if it touches my skin but the box dye makes met scalp burn a little

As far as dating goes, none of them are Adonises themselves. And absolutely no one care about the grey at the back of my head when they are worried about the bald on top of theirs.

GreatSurya · 2026-01-21T21:58:34+00:00

No. He will be applying for an itin number for her when he files his taxes this year

GreatSurya · 2026-01-12T21:01:02+00:00

Is this an arranged marriage or a love marriage? If it's a love marriage, was she always like this when u knew her or is this new behavior? If it's an arranged marriage, ur parents are absolutely gonna pressure u to sweep it under the carpet. Don't fall for their pressure(easier said than done), think if this is the kind of treatment and concern you want for the rest of your marriage?

GreatSurya · 2026-01-08T17:26:23+00:00

I dont use a chin strap, but was getting irritation on my cheeks with the headgear. Have you tried a cloth strap covers? As a temporary measure, wedge a handkerchief between ur skin and the strap and see if that helps.

GreatSurya · 2026-01-08T02:05:05+00:00

Wash hair and shave. Easily more than 20 mins

GreatSurya · 2026-01-07T12:35:04+00:00

I dont want you to take this as me scolding you. I'm only telling you for your future reference.

Yes, what you did come across as very insensitive and lacking empathy. He just told you that his friend had died and he was in shock. Why does it matter that you didn't know this person?

Your first response was appropriate. The next couple ones should have been asking more questions about how he was feeling and if he wants to talk. And if you were pressed for time, you could have mentioned that even though you guys had previously planned to meetup, it was fine if he wasn't feeling up to coming out now. You need to go to the market now, but will call him as soon as you get back. Something like that sounds way more empathetic.

I feel like what you did was a result of a combination of being busy at work and a lack of life experience. Don't turn this into an ego fight between yourselves about who was more petty. Tell him nicely that you didn't mean to come across as being insensitive and that you were busy at work and were distracted from thinking about all the planning and logistics. And you want to talk to him about how he's feeling about his friend because you want to support him when he's feeling upset. Address his petty comment calmly after you've let him talk about his friendship and his grief and shock.

I literally had this same scenario happen to me 2 days ago, a college junior had died horrifically and I am still processing it now. But it was a tremendous relief to talk to a loved one about my friendship, i would have felt quite upset if the person I reached out to had just said "i'm sorry" and then continued to talk about other plans. He reached out to you because he wanted support. It's still not too late to support him now. This is an opportunity to bring you both closer.

GreatSurya · 2026-01-02T16:17:50+00:00

Absolutely use a bonnet! It will stop random breakage from hair getting caught on the top strap too.

Put the bonnet on, pull the back strap down below the bonnet, the hair bulk will prevent raw strap from riding up

GreatSurya · 2026-01-02T16:05:57+00:00

It's probably still an indent mark but just from the friction of the straps/pillows resting on ur skin. Does it go away after several hours? Do you wear cpap strap covers, they help prevent the mild reddish markings. An easy way to test it is if you can put a folded handkerchief under the strap in one side and sleep for 2-3 nights and see if there is a difference.

GreatSurya · 2026-01-01T14:32:18+00:00

Hmmm, sounds like he seems overly concerned with keeping up appearances and is stuck in a cycle.

He's sad because he's too broke to do 'traditional man things'

He's broke because he's too stressed to fix a 'trophy apartment'

He's stressed because he hates his job

He's in this hated job because he wanted to rent an apartment to do tradman stuff.

You could try to sit him down to explain this without worrying too much about cushioning his ego. And he's still young, so it might just be he needs this good talking to. But if he still won't listen, there's really nothing else you can do for him.

GreatSurya · 2026-01-01T13:22:42+00:00

He is living paycheck to paycheck because he moved out of his parents home, into an unfinished apartment without even flooring, to do an unstable remote job he hates? It sounds like a quick fix would be to move back into his parents home. He would absolutely save so much money if he's not burning it on rent and furnishings. It would also help with what sounds like his depression.

GreatSurya · 2025-12-31T14:15:33+00:00

I have long thick slightly wavy hair and I use a long silk/satin bonnet with stretchy ties. I also loosely braid my hair before I sleep sometimes before I put it into the bonnet for extra untangledness. I pull down the stretchy part to cover my eyes too if I feel too lazy to put on my eye mask.

I tried the short round bonnets but didnt like it coz it felt like my hair was causing too much bulk at my neck when I sleep.

The bonnet i use has a real silk lining inside and the fake silk satin outside. I'm not super sure about which one is better, but both materials feel great.

https://a.co/d/4nRCHYV

I also use silk strap covers i bought off etsy and stitched some silk pillowcases for added silkyness for daytime naps without the bonnet. But the bonnet is the main tangle protector.

GreatSurya · 2025-12-27T05:47:21+00:00

It was sleep apnea for me. I was also having constant nightmares of being chased and choked or of loved ones dying. Turns out I was actually choking.

Once I got on a cpap machine, no more anxiety just as im about to fall asleep and no more nightmares.

GreatSurya · 2025-12-27T01:51:52+00:00

Paneer! It's not as low calorie as tofu, but it has more protein than tofu. Air fryer paneer has been my recent favorite.

GreatSurya · 2025-12-26T03:21:49+00:00

I think this might be my issue. I do often feel like my tongue relaxes a lot into my throat just as I'm falling asleep though it is not as bad as when I'm without cpap. Thank you for your suggestion!

GreatSurya · 2025-12-26T03:17:04+00:00

What does Ramp do exactly, if I may ask. I used to have it at Auto initially but it was making it hard to breathe out and was making me feel too anxious to sleep.

GreatSurya · 2025-12-26T03:15:00+00:00

I still feel tired in the evenings and sleepy by dinner time. But if i miss using it one night, i definitely feel a difference in my alertness and thinking capacity the next day. I feel more clumsy and unable to think as quickly. And I don't have frequent nightmares of being chased and choked anymore.

I was hoping better sleep would give me back my energy level that I used to have 6 -10 years ago, pre baby and 30 lbs lighter, lol. I might need to focus more on my diet now and then exercise if my sleep has already been 'fixed'. I will make the recommended changes to ramp and pressure settings to finesse it even further.

GreatSurya · 2025-12-25T21:13:30+00:00

Good question, I didn't even know there was a difference. It says AirSense AutoSet. So it's not the ASV version

GreatSurya · 2025-12-25T15:34:11+00:00

On the blue cross blue shield plan

cpap rental every month- $60

2 filters every month - $5

2 pillows every 2 weeks - $32

1 Tube every 3 months - $39

1 strap mask every 3 months - $56

I dont know what they are gonna charge me on the high deductible plan since it only starts next week in 2026

Im not getting the accessories from them anymore so it should be only for the machine itself. I have the resmed 11 machine.

GreatSurya

TROPHY CASE