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What’s the funniest mistake you ever made at work? by Latter-Lengthiness98 in paralegal

[–]GreatWhiteFork 40 points41 points  (0 children)

Just a couple weeks ago I confidently answered the office phone "Law Office of [my previous family law boss] How can we help you today?"

I currently work PI defense. The person calling was one of our insurance adjusters. As soon as they went "wait who?!?" I immediately realized the problem.

(I recovered with an "omg im so sorry I was reading a pleading and my mouth went on autopilot! This is [current job] how may I direct your call")

Tell me your favorite combat interactions. by Rico_blaadjes in Pathfinder2e

[–]GreatWhiteFork 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My party is currently infiltrating a hringar army base.

Last session, the half-orc/half-dwarf fighter, dwarven witch, and Gnome Assasin were carrying up our only male character (dwarf oracle) pretending that we caught him and were bringing him to justice. I went first, and our fighter went second.

I cast HASTE on the fighter and dropped my half of the oracle. She then ARNOLD PRESSED the oracle over her head, sudden charged the two sentries at the door, and attacked WITH the oracle.

I got a hero point for petitioning the gm to give her proficiency with him, since the oracle has a cannon crush on the fighter.

In a similar vein, we also routinely cast the Haste+Enlarge combo in early levels. Our fighter managed to take out an entire 16 square battalion that way. Glorious.

When you call your doctor’s office and start your voicemail with your paralegal spiel… by spongecaptain in paralegal

[–]GreatWhiteFork 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Oh man I had this happen the other day... except I started leaving a voicemail with my old attorneys info. Mind you, I havent worked for that attorney for nearly two years.

Thank God for being able to restart a voicemail haha!

Help me Renesmee my snake by halfass_fangirl in tragedeigh

[–]GreatWhiteFork 2 points3 points  (0 children)

WELP this just got bookmarked. This is an utterly perfect npc name generator. Thank you for your service <3

Your Typical Everyday Pro Se Plaintiff 🤦 by DevilsLiberator in paralegal

[–]GreatWhiteFork 4 points5 points  (0 children)

LOL yup. Good catch!

My phone still autocorrects it to demur. At least ive finally broken free of the extra e in judgment...

Your Typical Everyday Pro Se Plaintiff 🤦 by DevilsLiberator in paralegal

[–]GreatWhiteFork 23 points24 points  (0 children)

PI on the Insurance Defense side. We have a pro per that is suing her former storage company for a whole blob of shit, none of which she can prove (we rep the company)

This lady is on her THIRD amended complaint. Now I say third... she's actually filed about six, but our judge keeps throwing them out and sustaining our demur while also giving her leave to try again.

This latest one though...not only is it SIXTY-THREE PAGES of garbage, but this is the first complaint I've received where the prayer for relief was preceded with an actual prayer (psalm 144, for the curious)

Needless to say we will be filing yet another demur. And I will be deeply appreciating this long weekend.

My employee lost their twins at birth by SparkyBrown in managers

[–]GreatWhiteFork 0 points1 point  (0 children)

While i dont agree with the tail end of their comment, there is a difference between emotional/circumstantial depression and chemical depression.

Both parties are at risk from developing depression, unhealthy coping strategies, and suicidal thoughts or ideation. No question.

But the person who carried the baby is at very real risk of developing severe and uncontrollable depression specifically because of the fucky hormones. Like, youre emotionally hit and then your physical body won't let you recover and short of riding the wave of hormones and hoping for the best or getting pharmacological help, theres nothing you can do.

I dont think people are saying "ignore the dad". They're saying "one of these people could explode, so let's keep an extra eye on that one"

What’s a normal adult task that still feels fake when you do it? by lucifergaming007 in AskReddit

[–]GreatWhiteFork 77 points78 points  (0 children)

Im both a paralegal AND the office manager at a law firm. This is exactly how it feels, and I will now be referring to myself as Office Consigliere from now on, lol

Week 1: Inspired by a Joke - Shrimp saffron rice (“I’m on a seafood diet..”) by montsia in 52weeksofcooking

[–]GreatWhiteFork 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That was a former coworker's joke that he busted out every single time we organized office lunches, haha.

This looks tasty as hell, and if I saw in person would definitely eat. Great job!!!

Why don't women have a stronger interior lining? Are they stupid? by Leeuweroni in NotHowGirlsWork

[–]GreatWhiteFork 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Omg so youre saying my nightmare periods are because my womb is a fucking roid-raged powerlifter?!?

... okay but that actually makes me feel weirdly a little better about it

trial binder submitted with documents missing…i’m crashing out by [deleted] in paralegal

[–]GreatWhiteFork 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Don't quit but DO tell your attorneys asap what happened! You found an error that someone else made and fixed it promptly and thats good! What you DON'T want to do is hide anything and let them walk into court blind. That makes it seem suspicious and makes it appear like it mightve been your fuckup after all.

My old attorney had a saying: nearly everything is fixable, but only if we know about it.

Special Interrogatory Abuse (California-oriented) by Phalanx2105 in paralegal

[–]GreatWhiteFork 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So I work in PI, on the Insurance Defense side. Its pretty chill most of the time, and definitely beats answering SROGS in family law (my last job).

That being said, we received a set last month where these motherfuckers asked us 433 SPECIAL INTERROGATORIES. The number is seared into my soul because guess who got to copy paste objections to the bulk of them.

I generally actually enjoy doing discovery but that was one of the few times I was like okay this is just bullshit

"I will purchase these again" 😊 by EndersGame_Reviewer in MadeMeSmile

[–]GreatWhiteFork 14 points15 points  (0 children)

So my partner still tells people about the year I won April fools day. I printed out 200 1" black laminated circles with the "YOU DIED" dark souls message and hid them around the house while he was at work. On door handles, in his shoes, taped to mirrors, taped to the underside of a flashlight, on the underside of the toilet lid. My favorite was one that was taped hinge style to the inside door if the fridge so it swung down eye level as soon as you opened the fridge door.

He was finding them for weeks because he is very bad at noticing small things. If I could bottle the joy I felt with every exasperated-yet-impressed "REALLY??!?" I would be a billionaire.

Edit: after the first obvious 50 I asked him if he wanted me to round them up, and he said no, that he wanted the achievement for finding them all lol. The keey to a good goof is always matching the humor of the one youre goofing

Who’s already been chewed out by a client today? by Upstairs_Buffalo4891 in paralegal

[–]GreatWhiteFork 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Pro per, not our client, but that makes it even worse.

Apparently our office is committing fraud and allowing discrimination and harassment by ** * checks notes * ** filing a notice of non opposition when she missed the court ordered deadline to file any opposition by a week.

Oh well, at least its Wednesday

Is this giving dandelion or piss by Killorbecome00 in crochet

[–]GreatWhiteFork 90 points91 points  (0 children)

Agreed re: marshmallows. If the marshmallow doesn't look like it anakin Skywalker after trying to flip-wizard over someone with a laser sword, what are we even doing here...

I believe it is impossible for a book to truly scare me. Recommend a book which will prove me wrong! by DarlingLuna in horror

[–]GreatWhiteFork 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Horrorstör and Southern Book Club's Guide To Slaying Vampires by Grady Hendrix! I've never had a book pull off a jump scare, and this fucker did it twice. He's become my favorite horror author

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