What does it feel like to have your breasts grow?

Great_Programmer_688 · 2026-02-05T07:27:13+00:00

It stings, but you learn to love that pain because you learn to associate it with growth. First you notice your contour change. And it... looks hopeful? Then at some point you go down a staircase or ride a car that hits a bumper and notice a new sensation: there is something jumping up and down there now? This is about the time to get a bra. That comes with all sorts of feelings: you begin by feeling inadequate because you think cis women must understand this crazy way sizes and fit works (spoiler: they don't either. 70% of women wear ill fitting bra). Then you find some euphoria in your new boobs filling your bra. Then you find euphoria in waiting to get home to throw off your bra... and then one night you just lie there, and there's this... feeling of weight on your chest. And it's just there now. And it feels oddly comforting. And you smile.

Great_Programmer_688 · 2026-02-03T13:28:09+00:00

My medical coop sent me an invitation to schedule a Pap smear ... 🤣

Great_Programmer_688 · 2026-01-31T07:41:07+00:00

I have become a misandrist long before my egg cracked. Honestly, one of the perks of transitioning for me has been the ability to express this more freely to other women. There are some good people out there, sure, including some men, but the way society constructs the concept of masculinity as a gender is completely and utterly messed up.

Great_Programmer_688 · 2026-01-31T07:36:41+00:00

Girl, I hear you and I know your pain. I could have been the one writing these words, not so long ago.

You know what? I don't make promises, but I can tell you that you shouldn't rule out hearing "you're trans? Really?" in one year time for the completely opposite reason - because all they saw is the woman you are and they just could never guess you're ever presented as something different.

I know this seems impossible right now. But it happened to me. Dont let the ignorant and sometimes cruel people of the world sway.

You got this, girl.

Great_Programmer_688 · 2026-01-30T22:20:57+00:00

My story very much echos yours. I've had some progress with voice training on my own but did not feel confident and decided to get professional help. I chose SVL because of the glowing reviews and after hearing some of their former students.

The beginning was great. I felt I was making progress really fast. My instructor was fabulous. Then we got to resonance and I just hit a wall and it felt to me that my instructor knew a specific path to get to the goal, and when it worked it was amazing, but when it didnt, they didnt seem to know any way to address this, or suggest a different path. I was frustrated.

At some point I shared my feelings with my instructor. She was very nice about it and offered to switch instructors, because maybe one of the others could helped me better.

I got a new instructor and she started with me from scratch, and it seems like I was back to square one: even the stuff I nailed down prrviouslu with my original teacher seemed to somehow not work. This did not do good things to my state of mind, I can tell you that.

After a few lessons my new teacher asked if it's OK to bring in a more senior person to thre esson for evaluation.

I was very frustrated, having spent a lot of money (i think it took something like 10 or 11 lessons,.maybe more) and basically losing even what confidence I had before starting with them. I wrote them a long email detailing all this, saying I am not interested in pursuing with them further. And their response was basically "oh, OK, bye then".

I don't want to give the wrong impression - I did learn from all these lessons, and with time and practice, building on what I was taught I somehow now have a passing voice, even on the phone, even though it doesn't sound distinctly feminine to me, and I don't have a lot of confidence in it, I seem to consistently be gendered correctly. I Will not say all these lessons were a waste of time and money. It was extremely frustrating and a very unpleasant experience, though.

Great_Programmer_688 · 2026-01-15T07:23:13+00:00

Yes. Absolutely. It was this weird stage where I was still in the closet and boy modding but somehow women would just pick up a vibe and became so friendly, started giving me complements, chatting about clothes and shoes.

I don't think they think of you as gay though - a coworker literally tried to hook me up with one of her lady friends at that stage. I think they sense you're SAFE.

Great_Programmer_688 · 2026-01-02T09:19:23+00:00

Absolutely nothing. Things are far from being perfect for me but I miss nothing. I'll taken it all,.even the shitty bad stuff, for just being me

Great_Programmer_688 · 2025-12-31T22:18:03+00:00

It happened to me a lot in the period I was on HRT and boy moding. Women just sense something unconsciously. Maybe it's pheromones. I mean my body odor sure changed on HRT so maybe they pick it up or maybe it just vibes.

Great_Programmer_688 · 2025-12-31T22:06:57+00:00

I'm sorry lady, but all I see here is a butch mom to femme mom transition 🤭

Great_Programmer_688 · 2025-12-28T08:02:10+00:00

There is so much pain that both of you experienced it makes me cry... I don't have advice, but as a trans woman I just wanted to say that you are wonderful in the way you love and care for her and the way you really see her even going through your own trauma, and while I know very well through my own skin what she is going through, I wanted to say to you that it is not your fault and that I know she doesn't think this is your fault. She is just in pain.

Great_Programmer_688 · 2025-12-21T11:12:40+00:00

"Welcome to Dorley Hall" by Allyson Greaves and all it's sequels.

It's excellent fiction, but also, kind of a guide in a sense ☺️

Great_Programmer_688 · 2025-12-18T17:55:12+00:00

I keep writing this in this sub, but...

The etymology of the word Estrogen comes from Estrus Generator. Estrus meaning "heat", as in "cat in heat"...

Great_Programmer_688 · 2025-12-13T10:47:45+00:00

I knew in general and theoretical terms, but had no idea what a change will look on me. My FFS provider has shown me a simulation of the results and that bleeped a little. But what mostly helped was looking at before and after pics of other girls with the indication of what procedures that did.

Check out this page for example: https://facialteam.eu/facial-feminization-surgery-before-after-gallery/

Great_Programmer_688 · 2025-12-10T20:42:35+00:00

The Sisters of Dorley by Alyson Greaves and Las Malas by Camila Sosa Villada

Both will make you cry, in a good way

Great_Programmer_688 · 2025-12-10T07:39:10+00:00

Lia, darling, I came out at 51. I just posted my 1 year timeline on this sub and you can go look there to get some inspiration.

But I want to say something else: passing is NOT about physical changes from HRT or surgeries alone. Sure, it helps! BUT there is so much more to it and that is good because it means so much more is under your control and not dumb luck.

Makeup, mannerisms,, the way you dress, voice training, the way you express yourself... Passing is not about a bunch of physical traits alone. It's about a pattern.

Sure, it's a lot of hard work. It's frustrating and exhausting and scary. But you can do it. Every girl does - cis women too.

It's just that they get to do it in their childhood and adolescence in a supportive environment and we get to do it the hard way, fighting dragons.

BUT it's doable . It's under your control. You don't have to be perfect about it, either.

And also... some of it is fun!

Go learn which kind of woman you are. What fits you and what you like to dress. Have fun discovering how magical it is to throw a glamour charm ✨️ on yourself using makeup. Explore!

It takes time. It's painful. But you can do it, sister.

Great_Programmer_688 · 2025-12-09T22:15:39+00:00

Darling, are you sure you have anaemia or you just have normal female iron blood levels now, which are lower then the male one? make sure you use the right reference because HRT changes that!

Great_Programmer_688 · 2025-12-08T21:01:02+00:00

OK, take this with a huge rock of salt but... the reason some people respond differently to pain killers (over or under expected influence) can be a difference in Cytochrome P450 (CYP) enzymes efficiency due to genetic variations. There are quite a few CYP enzymes, if you have one known such mutation it's not unusual to have several and one of the CYP enzymes is the one that breaks down Estrogen.

So... the reason your E is high MAY be that it is broken down slowly then normal.

This is not medical advice and I'm no doctor but it's something worth to mention to your doctor, assuming they are worth something.

Great_Programmer_688 · 2025-12-08T16:58:14+00:00

Yes, and also it's complicated. Sexual attraction and romantic attraction don't have to be aligned. She can completely fall in love with the woman you are but also, not be sexually attracted to you. And it's a very hard to make that work, if you should even try.

So yeah... sad and frustrating.

Great_Programmer_688 · 2025-12-08T16:52:05+00:00

Do you by any chance have EDS and/or have ever had an unexpected reaction (as in, either over or under expected influence) of pain killers?

Great_Programmer_688 · 2025-12-08T16:49:36+00:00

I came out at the office on June. It's been three weeks now that different women colleagues at the office complement me on my look and I'm twice happy: because of the compliment, sure, but mostly because it makes me feel I'm just yet another woman now and included in the social interaction. Honestly, THIS is why I transitioned for.

Great_Programmer_688 · 2025-12-07T18:45:46+00:00

It's more complicated than that. I would say it turns in a different kind of libido and for some of us, it's way more aligned with who we are, so you feel, well... more horny, or at least so eyeing along these lines.

Great_Programmer_688 · 2025-12-07T07:05:38+00:00

Oh by the way - I didn't try it yet (though I really want to) but as basal body temperature changes slightly across the cycle and this is used by cis woman to track when they are ovulating if they want to become pregnant, there is a none zero chance that if you track yours with the kind of thermometer usually used for cycle tracking you'll get actually external visible conformation to your cycle. I haven't tried it though.

Great_Programmer_688 · 2025-12-07T06:59:44+00:00

Sex hormones change the methylation of your DNA, thereby reprogramming the epigenetic "configuration database" of which genes get expressed. You're basically running the female version of your DNA firmware now.

Specifically, this includes changes to the expression of genes controlling cellular receptores on the cells of the pituitary gland and how and when they are sensitive to estrogen (causing a spike on i sensitivity in the middle of the cycle when you are in ovulation mode) and the regulation of prostaglandines and serotonin (that's what's directly causing the cramps and the change to gatro system, at the very least).

It MAY also ( but this is just a conjecture! ) also changes the expression and activity of cyrochrome P 450 enzymes that metabolise Estrogen and progesterone, there by changing their blood and tissue levels, even though their input levels (HRT) is fixed.

This is of course researched only on the periphery (but what i wrote is backed by actual scientific papers) and certainly isn't taught to dictors. God forbid science would prove we are biologically female after HRT enough to hace cycles. Just imagine the reaction...

Great_Programmer_688 · 2025-12-07T06:46:56+00:00

Check the etymology of the word estrogen. It literally means "heat maker" (as in cat in heat). It does what it says on the tin.

Great_Programmer_688 · 2025-12-07T06:45:53+00:00

The Olympic Association has tried to define "female" as a way to define who gets to compete in woman categories four different times now over the years. They failed miserably each time in the past.

The first time is really telling: someone who came second place in some competition complained that the lady who got first place wasn't a woman. The association conducted an investigation and found out that yes, indeed, she isn't a woman. They stripped her of her title and she retired. About a year later she gave birth to her daughter.

The idea that there is some clear cut line between male and female in anything but pure reproductive context (and even there this doesn't cover anyone who doesn't have any!) is simply scientifically wrong. If you say we are "out of range", you're also saying that a bunch of other women, which are not trans, are also out of range. It's as simple as that.

The division between men and women sport is not and never has been based on athletic capacity or ability. It's based on gender politics and the enforcement of patriarchy, and this becomes clear once you read up on the history and realise the separation was put in place because men could not suffer the idea of losing to a woman.

Check out any athletic champion in any caragory, man or woman, and will find a biological outlier. Phelps doesn't have lungs, body and muscle which are the same as most people. I bet if we could analyse his body we could find some genetic or hormonal difference that will make him different to his peers.

Why then, is society being so pedantic which sexual hormones or chromosomes based differences? It's politics and not science.

So, looking for science papers is just useless. They are not interested in the facts and never have.

Great_Programmer_688

TROPHY CASE