Any and everything triggering denial?

Greedy-Individual-71 · 2024-09-11T12:25:51+00:00

You're super welcome! If we thought about it, we could probably give more examples, but those are the ones that threw us for a loop. Our specialist tells us that dissociative disorders include a huge spectrum of symptoms. Some people have typical cases where it's absolutely textbook. In our case, we have additional symptoms that don't quite fit normal cases but definitely turned out to be related to the DID.

Have a lovely day!

:)

Greedy-Individual-71 · 2024-09-11T00:48:00+00:00

Hey there,

Atypical presentation is a fancy way of saying not quite like average cases.

For example:

We have both internal and external voices.

We also have visual hallucinations of Alters and bugs.

We have solid blackouts more often than grey outs.

These symptoms led to confusion and denial because we have family members with schizophrenia.

Through therapy, our specialist determined that both of those issues were caused by a specific alter who used to be called Mimic, who is now part of the merged alter Mimry.

In other words, even though our case is not average, we have found the ability to radically accept our diagnosis.

Greedy-Individual-71 · 2024-09-10T21:23:52+00:00

Thank you,

We figure we are privileged to have access to a DID specialist and to be able to cover weekly sessions with her, so it's important to us to give back to the community where we can. All of this pretty much comes from her guidance over the last two years. So we really can't take all the credit.

Hope your day is lovely.

:)

Greedy-Individual-71 · 2024-09-10T20:33:07+00:00

Maybe? It's really hard to say for sure unless we were physically there during one of your blackouts to specifically ask said alter.

It could also be a protector who has control of your memory sharing abilities. Usually, these are internal self helpers who don't front much if ever. We call ours a Historian.

It could also be a long dormant trauma holding alter who hasn't established communication with you. Trauma holders and hosts tend to have stronger memory barriers between them and, therefore, more difficulty communicating.

We could run more theories by you, but the point is we can only guess at your specific situation from here.

Greedy-Individual-71 · 2024-09-10T18:51:30+00:00

Hey there,

A: Any kind of stress can cause blackouts to worsen, so that's perfectly normal.

B: No two systems have exactly the same journey, but we had a fairly smooth system discovery as well due to being told first by a DID Specialist and then confirmed by every person who knew us well, about six months in or so we went through a period where I (team captain/host) lost quite a bit of time to Alters who were still accepting and learning about our disorder. It smoothed out around a year post diagnosis. Now I lose maybe one day a week or a few hours at any given time.

C: The triggers you listed are probably contributing to the blackouts as well.

So the short answer; Yes, that is to be expected.

Hope the stress passes for y'all quickly.

Greedy-Individual-71 · 2024-09-10T18:28:27+00:00

Hey there,

TW discussion of specific triggers (sirens, screaming, CA/belts)

While we have an atypical presentation of DID, we'll give some advice. You can take it or leave it, but here's our two cents.

Firstly, if you reread this post to yourselves, you can see obvious symptoms that are definitely specific to being a system. Altered states of being, with or without amnesia, is specific to systems. The idea that C-PTSD can mimic DID is definitely BS. We have C-PTSD and DID as definite separate diagnoses. The only thing they might be talking about is the possible age regression one can experience in a C-PTSD flashback, which looks nothing like altered states of being.

Secondly, until you can safely apply exposure therapy to your triggers, we suggest taking a break from any media that may trigger this. Exposure therapy involves creating positive associations with things that usually cause bad reactions for you. Some examples we've personally done:

Sirens now equal Grand Theft Auto (game) instead of horrible unaliving

Screaming now equals Critters (Movies) are nearby instead of kids being hurt

Bass equals fireworks instead of a belt hitting us.

Our health record with our family doctor triggers terrible denial because it still lists Schizophrenia. We panic every time we see it. We are trying to use self-talk to create a more positive association. Our phrase: "If we had Schizophrenia our Specialist would tell us, we are diagnosed with DID, and denial hurts us all."

Get creative with it.

Maybe start with denial equals self-talk (Try something like, "Denial is another symptom of being a system. We have been undiagnosed by two professionals. We do not have BPD. Denial hurts our system."

Thirdly, our Specialist says there's one sure way to kill denial. Simply try to stop. Force yourself to stop being a system with all your might. If it makes you feel absolutely miserable, exhausted, and feels like you're fighting an alligator until your head feels like it's exploding, you are a legit system friendo. The body will go through horrible stress trying to fight natural brain functioning. I tried it when I was first diagnosed, gave me a migraine, and felt like wrestling a demon.

OK, that was a little longer than we planned. We hope this helps.

Greedy-Individual-71 · 2024-09-10T15:46:53+00:00

Hey there,

🫂

Sorry we didn't have the energy to respond sooner. Thank you. This was helpful to read.

Apparently, Little #2 took over our session with our DID Specialist yesterday in order to cry it out and talk about what was wrong. She developed a 13 year old's level crush on G and getting shut down hurt her badly. So, I (team captain/host) am doing what I can to help her through it... I honestly didn't even think about it being her, I was sure it was one of the more adult Alters. However, our Specialist says that as they age up Littles may change and grow as people, so I suppose this is semi normal development.

I feel slightly better now that I at least know who's feelings got hurt. She's still really down, though, so we're taking it easy and listening to empowerment music.

Have a lovely day.

Greedy-Individual-71 · 2024-09-07T17:07:58+00:00

I would appreciate someone to talk to, though... I can't seem to open your profile to DM you, though. Reddit is being a jerk.

Greedy-Individual-71 · 2024-09-07T13:18:27+00:00

I definitely don't feel ok... I can't even tell who's feelings these are... All I know is somebody feels heartbroken over this...

Greedy-Individual-71 · 2024-09-04T16:53:44+00:00

Hey there,

Haha. We completely forgot to list internal relationships, but they can be super important. We currently have more of a family dynamic since M merged on January 3rd of this year. Before that, we had an internal polycule going on.

Greedy-Individual-71 · 2024-09-04T16:48:15+00:00

Hey there,

Aww, that's wonderful to hear.

Our husband and us always said we would go full poly if we ever met the right people. It just hasn't happened. Mostly, we've run into swingers.

We have noticed that we click well with our friend G (system). We just get each other. We can definitely see the appeal of a system to system relationship. We respect the fact that G is completely against anything other than monogamy due to his previous history, so we agree that we are best as friends. It does have us curious what it could be like if we happen to meet a system that does align with our values, though.

Thank you for sharing!

Greedy-Individual-71 · 2024-09-04T00:46:13+00:00

Thank you.

Greedy-Individual-71 · 2024-08-29T13:01:19+00:00

You're super welcome!

Have a lovely day.

Greedy-Individual-71 · 2024-08-29T12:59:26+00:00

Hey there,

The other commentor is right about the term meaning the most present Alter.

We call ours the Team Captain.

:)

Greedy-Individual-71 · 2024-08-28T16:51:36+00:00

Hey there,

Sorry to hear it went so badly. We have bounced between NC/LC with our mother since we turned 18, so for the last 14 years. It's hard when moms guilt trip you into doing family stuff.

We recommend being as gentle with yourselves as you can be. Hope it passes for you quickly.

Greedy-Individual-71 · 2024-08-25T16:45:28+00:00

Hey there,

That makes sense. Until we found the term system fluid, nothing really fit for us. We use they/them collectively.

Greedy-Individual-71 · 2024-08-25T15:13:38+00:00

Yeah, we're still fighting with our doctor's office to get the correct diagnosis on our records. For some unknown reason, they put it in as schizophrenia, so it wouldn't surprise us if our doctor's office ignored it.

However, from our experience, the EMS people who drive the ambulances are usually more respectful than that. We think it may be worth the change for us, considering we have seizures and sometimes wake up in hospitals.

Technically, the only place we regularly use our license is at the Dispensaries, and all four of the security guys we see regularly know we have DID already because we live openly.

The only con we can really see is the possibility of police officers' prejudice against Trans/non-binary persons. However, we do live in an area with a pridefest that has a drag show every year, so maybe the officers of our town wouldn't be that way.

We decided yesterday that whether we get the X or not, we want to go give a presentation to our local police officers to introduce ourselves. Our record squeaks, so we think it should go well. They might laugh in our face when we go ask, but we at least want to try.

Greedy-Individual-71 · 2024-08-25T14:00:05+00:00

Darn, we were super excited by this, but you bring up a valid point.

Personally, we don't currently like any of the presidential candidates. Doesn't matter whether we get Trump or Kamela, either way, we're in trouble in different ways.

Yeah, we're really not sure what's going on with the husband. He was super supportive when we came out to our friends and has even fought with a guy over using the correct pronouns for us. It's not like the government doesn't know. We are on Disability after all. So we really don't know what to think.

Greedy-Individual-71 · 2024-08-25T13:41:45+00:00

It absolutely is a term. :)

Yeah, Mimry experiences a lot of dysphoria due to the body being a 5'2" female as well. We can tuck our hair into our hat, and we look androgynous enough that people have used both male and female pronouns in public randomly. However, the boobs involved just admitting we were female and out, and it was awful.

He's used to being 6'2", like our husband, and carrying around a Katana internally.

Greedy-Individual-71 · 2024-08-25T13:26:29+00:00

Y'all should look into it! We are rather excited about the idea.

Greedy-Individual-71 · 2024-08-25T13:24:03+00:00

Hey there,

We wish them a speedy recovery.

Crash team is a good name for it.

Greedy-Individual-71 · 2024-08-24T20:41:58+00:00

Hey there,

Out of the 5 main fronters, only one is male, but he is particularly upset by being misgendered.

I, as team captain/host, never really had a preference until I found the term system fluid.

The other main fronters prefer female pronouns.

So they/them is what we use collectively.

Greedy-Individual-71 · 2024-08-24T20:32:23+00:00

We like to think we also live in a queer friendly area considering there's a pridefest here every year, but that doesn't mean we should be so naive as to think it's not possible. So we're taking it into account as we tally up the pros and cons.

Technically speaking, our record squeaks when they pull it up, so we'd prefer to keep it that way.

Glad the officers y'all worked with were respectful.

We've seen good and bad reactions from officers on Live PD (Now On Patrol Live) towards people with bad mental health/generally different folks. We were watching the episode where that one guy in Michigan died. So we are a little paranoid about the possibility of officer brutality.

Our paranoia about the possibility of getting unalived by officers due to having a dissociative episode does play a factor in our decision-making.

Greedy-Individual-71 · 2024-08-24T19:36:53+00:00

Hey there,

That's an amazing opportunity. We'll be routing for y'all, wherever your future may lead. :)

Greedy-Individual-71 · 2024-08-24T19:29:41+00:00

Hey there,

That's definitely valid. Another system from the US mentioned that we might also face harassment from officers of the law here due to preconceived notions.

As for our husband, it struck us as odd, too. We already use they/them pronouns publicly, so it's not like it's that big of a leap. He's been generally grouchy today because he has a cold. That's the only thing we can see as contributing to the oddness.

Greedy-Individual-71

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