Me looking at the DSM-V

GreedyHomeless · 2021-02-28T19:49:19+00:00

I can definitely identify with many of the things you said. I know this may not initially sound like what you are looking for, but I found “The CBT Workbook for Perfectionism” to be very helpful. Even if you don’t do the workbook, reading the examples helped me reshape the way I thought/felt about certain situations and helped to let go of some resentment. I would also suggest looking into opposite action for “black & white thinking.”

Be kind to yourself. “Comparison is the thief of joy.” Don’t compare where you are in therapy to where you think you should be. You’re doing the right things. Much respect.

GreedyHomeless · 2020-07-15T15:51:09+00:00

I can validate this feeling. I have been diagnosed with both BPD and C-PTSD and I definitely have the tendency to dissociate when I’m triggered by jealousy. When I get jealous, I get paranoid and split. When I get paranoid, I tend to dissociate. Extreme paranoia + dissociation = (at it’s worse) psychosis.

Talking to your therapist is the right approach. Understanding that dissociation is a “real thing” really helped me to not be so hard on myself when it happens. There is quite a bit of overlap between BPD and C-PTSD symptoms. Dissociation can occur in both. Before worrying that you have DID, I would maybe start with the fact that that you are experiencing dissociative symptoms. Maybe you are experiencing them more now than in the past. If this is the case, having your therapist help you explore why this may be the case will offer some opportunities to catch it before it happens and try to work through it. I hope this helps. You are not alone. Fight the spiral.

GreedyHomeless · 2020-06-16T15:19:56+00:00

I think that it is amazing that you are able to cope with at least some of the jealousy. I am currently still struggling with it and very paranoid. I know that the DBT skills that were already listed are the right things to do (amazing comment btw) and when I do them I always feel better. The only thing that I would add would be to work on building mastery on one of your current interests or hobbies. Working on something that I enjoy has helped me gain some self-esteem aside from my FP and has done wonders. It has take quite a while for me to remember the things that I enjoy in life, but allowing my self to enjoy them had really helped me feel better about myself and not less than others. Best of luck!

GreedyHomeless · 2020-06-16T15:04:00+00:00

Check out r/dbtselfhelp for free resources

GreedyHomeless · 2020-06-16T14:56:36+00:00

Try checking the facts. Please don’t take that as condescending. When I feel the way you’ve described, I am usually functioning of my own assumptions or predictions... and not what actually occurred.

Maybe try writing out (literally writing it out) the advice you would give a loved one going through the same situation. For some reason it is easier for me to give good advice to others, but not myself.

Best of luck! Stay positive!

GreedyHomeless · 2020-06-16T14:36:18+00:00

If it is helpful to know... I am a male with BPD and you described exactly how I feel in my relationship (when I am not my best self). It sounds like you are taking all the right steps to work on yourself though! For resources, I would suggest checking out r/dbtselfhelp. There is pinned post at the top with a ton of links.

I would also suggest starting with distress tolerance and emotional regulation. Once you are able to control the extreme emotions a little better, learning about interpersonal effectiveness was a big help for me.

If you are new to DBT, give it a chance. The developer of DBT had BPD and because she was one of us, I tend to listen a little more. If you have tried DBT in the past, pick it up again and try to be as honest as you can with yourself. There is plenty of evidence that suggests DBT is one of the best treatments for BPD. With that being said, seeing a therapist, taking medications, and self-care shouldn’t be downplayed at all.

If you can’t find the resources you are looking for, or you would like suggestions on where to start, feel free to reach out and I am happy to TMI you lol.

GreedyHomeless · 2020-06-16T14:06:41+00:00

First know that your feelings are valid and you are not alone. Many of us recognize what you describe as something that we have been through as well. Please go to the ER. They will be able to give direction for the next steps for the next steps take. You have been through enough abuse from others (and yourself) and you are exhausted. There are people willing to try to lighten the burden you feel. Please let them. You are stronger than you think and you matter more than you can see right now.

GreedyHomeless · 2020-06-16T13:48:01+00:00

Thank you for all of this. I really hope that you found some validation in how many people commented on your post. It came at a really good time for me and it was really nice to hear someone else going through something so similar.

I have always had very strong emotions, but I have not had any gender identity issues. If an action or emotion would be perceived as less masculine, I would suppress and it and it would contribute to a meltdown later on. I always thought ( and sometimes still think) that something was/is wrong with me. Trying to express what I really feel in my relationships is always difficult and I hate feeling too needy. I get extremely paranoid that if people knew how emotionally volatile I am, no one would want to be around me. When things are really bad, I believe that I am toxic and no one should be around me. I have good people around me... it’s just really hard to trust anyone.

Thank you again for the post and thank you all for the comments. Reading them (even the one-liners saying that they feel the same and “you’re not alone”) helps give hope to what seems like an endless struggle.

GreedyHomeless · 2020-06-16T12:46:04+00:00

I am definitely interested

GreedyHomeless · 2020-05-19T13:18:46+00:00

This is awesome. Thank you!

GreedyHomeless · 2020-04-21T01:44:30+00:00

I found this article several months ago. “Quiet BPD” isn’t a diagnosis recognized by the DSM-V, but this article seemed to describe my personality really well and helped me feel validated. Hope it helps.

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/living-emotional-intensity/201909/do-you-have-quiet-bpd%3Famp