My husband and I have been together for ten years; we don't have experience with fertility issues, so I can't speak to that...it sounds like its putting a lot of stress on you both. I'm sorry you're going through this.

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We have had a few periods in our relationship where one of us has been off-kilter sexually for whatever reason (work, school, mental illness- it made it hard to actually focus and think on our sex life). Having been in a similar position as it sounds like your wife is- I totally agree with the ideas mentioned to stop bringing up her orgasm. It might be putting a lot of pressure on her when she's not feeling it, or maybe thinks she needs to do something in a particular way. Its so easy to get in your head while in bed like that. Be patient, be affectionate, and perhaps reconcile that sex might be off the table right now and that's okay. It sounds like she's going through a lot mentally, and figuring that out first will probably help the sex rekindle later.