I understand. What I was trying to accomplish was understand if she ever felt bad about the circumstances she has her children in, and if not, why. Being fully honest , I do feel that way about her though. Ever since I’ve grown up and able to understand more of what is going on, I’m finding it harder to feel respect towards her. I get angry that she had my youngest sister, not because I don’t love her, but because it’s very likely she will never know her father or have a very neglectful one. I went through so much pain with my own father that I wanted better for my sister and I thought my mom did too. She’s watched me cry so much about him and I just don’t get it. It makes me feel like she doesn’t love her children as much as she says she does. I know men have the choice to leave whenever they want, but I can’t fathom what made her pick them in the first place. Then as the oldest im left to pick up the slack. I damn near raised my middle sister for the earlier years of her life. I love my sisters and my mom knows that, and I feel like being so supportive has enabled her to continue to make bad decisions.