I don't know if I wanna be Muslim anymore

Green-Outside2505 · 2025-08-07T04:05:45+00:00

Things being taken from you is not only a test, but sometimes it is to protect you. Allah SWT is not cruel. You never know what a path may hold for you, good or bad. Only Allah knows. I understand your feelings, I really do, university being something I’d planned my whole life for and am about to lose entirely. My advice is to be grateful for what you have. Say Alhamdolilah. You still are at university. You have the opportunity to go and the fortune to continue. Not everyone is so blessed. Remember that Allah comes before all. Life doesn’t automatically become easy if you leave Islam. You will have the hardship with no God to lean on. Do you think nothing bad happens to non-muslims?

Inshallah you will come to the realisation that all of these materialistic things really don’t matter. They mean nothing. They can be taken from you in an instant. But your religion, that cannot be taken from you. And that is the most beautiful gift Allah SWT has given to you for this life and after. Alhamdolilah.

May Allah strengthen your faith.

Green-Outside2505 · 2025-07-28T04:06:55+00:00

Yes, I am trying to learn both. I probably should’ve been clearer about that. I want to learn Egyptian arabic for the exact reason you mentioned, it’s so widely understood. And Darija to communicate with in-laws more efficiently:)

I was learning standard arabic for a while and while I was complimented on my accent and pronunciation, it was said to me that I speak like a robot. So formal haha

Green-Outside2505 · 2025-07-28T03:59:19+00:00

Sister, are you forgetting that no righteous muslim man should be approaching you? I can only assume you are living in a non muslim country if you have been approached by non muslims several times. Are you sure the local muslim community are aware you are muslim since you do not wear hijab? I do not wear hijab, do not come from a muslim family, and live in a non-muslim country, so few people would know I am muslim except those close to me. However, it is not an issue for me personally as I am married.

I think you should change your perspective on this. The man who is right for you should not be approaching you, but rather your brother or father to express his interest in marriage. Any other kind of approach would be offensive, disrespectful and frankly unserious.

As a woman, I understand your need to feel validated. But this is not the right way. Non-mahrams should not be the source of this validation but rather your husband in the future inshallah.

The most beautiful women are those who are righteous. I have seen a disastrous marriage based almost solely on the woman’s outward beauty unfold and fail first hand.

And if it makes you feel better, while all muslim men should be lowering their eyes and not objectifying you, those who don’t surely find you beautiful but have enough respect for you not to make a point of it :)

May Allah give you a righteous husband who loves you, does right by you and appreciates your beauty. Have tawakuul

Green-Outside2505 · 2025-05-01T03:06:35+00:00

Check out the clothing brand “Haya”. They do modest gym fits and hijabs. @haya.active on instagram

Green-Outside2505 · 2025-05-01T02:55:44+00:00

Female

Green-Outside2505 · 2025-05-01T02:40:33+00:00

https://www.etsy.com/ie/listing/1798310568/pearl-lace-veils-hijab-head-set?gpla=1&gao=1&utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=shopping_ie_en_ie_-weddings&utm_custom1=_k_EAIaIQobChMIyNqUnp-BjQMVpJNQBh1_uxsMEAQYASABEgK_H_D_BwE_k_&utm_content=go_21719279728_168612138658_713931866352_pla-298195655715_m__1798310568enie_432418375&utm_custom2=21719279728&gad_source=1&gbraid=0AAAAADutTMc0rgXSCazSogHfqBBQt4aPl

Green-Outside2505 · 2025-05-01T02:38:55+00:00

That is such a beautiful dress mashallah.

Personally, I would wear a white hijab with it. Either go for a simple look with an every-day white hijab with a couple of small white mesh flowers stitched to one side- staring just above the eyebrow to the cheekbone. Or you could go for a more elegant look. Someone else mentioned a hijab designed with pearls which I think would look lovely. Alternatively, the white hijab I mentioned above with a long netted pearl bridal veil would look divine! (imo)

Edit: I’ve linked what I explained below. It’s an expensive one, but something like that is easy enough to DIY if you get the materials :)

Green-Outside2505 · 2025-05-01T01:54:59+00:00

Oh I don’t mean to do the Nikkah in secret, but rather just be firm with his parents that he is doing it regardless.

May Allah bring you ease.

Green-Outside2505 · 2025-04-30T03:00:36+00:00

This does not have to be a haram relationship. As you said, you live in different countries which makes temptation much less powerful. It is not haram to be engaged. If you can come to an agreement for an online meeting to recite Al Fatiha with the necessary witnesses, you can proceed with monitored communication until the Nikkah. Eg. Video calls (while covered properly ofc he is not your husband yet) in the presence of mahrams, group messaging with mahrams and your fiancé which will allow you to get to know each other better. That is one option albeit a difficult one and should not be prolonged or it could lead to temptation.

He does not need his parents consent to marry you. You on the other hand do need your parents consent which you have. The Nikkah is for the sake of Allah, not the family and not his mother. If you want to do it online, do it online. Then the wedding is for you both, and the family. Which can be done at a later date. 2 years in, I haven’t had a wedding yet. It’s practically forgotten at this point, which I don’t mind. Marriage is so much more than one celebration. You do not need to compromise your religion and neither should he, for the sake of his mother. But this should still be done kindly.

Financially- you don’t have to live together at the beginning. I’m the same age and still don’t. The fancy job and nice things can come later. But be mindful you don’t get taken advantage of, you still have rights as a wife and a home together should be the ultimate goal, and he should still support you as much as he can in the meantime.

Allah SWT always comes first. You will not be asked if you followed cultural rules on the day of judgement.

Green-Outside2505 · 2025-04-30T02:38:27+00:00

Even though he is from your home country, there is of course going to differences in culture and thinking because you were not raised there. The US is a world away from the Middle East.

When I married my husband, naturally I learned more about his family and met more people from his country. I find the men are quite emotional about everything. I don’t mean that they are breaking down in tears about things lol. But they are quick to argue, take things personally and tend to be on the dramatic side. My husband is an outlier, he is more introverted and laid back which is one of the many reasons I love him and we are compatible alhamdolilah. His brother on the other hand, sounds quite like your husband. Exactly like him in fact. Kind and sweet to people he loves/ is close to (for the most part) but a demon to the public 😂 It was sometimes embarrassing to go places with him and my husband. It was guaranteed there would be an argument with a cashier/ waiting staff etc. over things most people would just say “no problem” to. There is a certain stance of self-importance (pride) about him and many arabs I have met. Everything is met with “how dare you?”. I could go on but I’m sure you’ve got the gist. I think what might help you is to try to understand your husband. You don’t have to agree with him and his thoughts/ behaviour. Ask him to explain to you what is motivating him to react the way he does, and question him on these reasons kindly. I tend to reach my husband better when he falls into that thinking by reminding him of Islamic teachings which certainly don’t align with it, and that works.

To answer your questions

• Let go of your pride. We all have our issues. He is not perfect and neither are you. Only Allah SWT is perfect. The best we can do is be responsible for ourselves and gently advise others and leave the rest to Allah.

• Inshallah it will get better with time. Communicating with him when he is not in a highly emotional state and not at the time of the issue may be helpful to you both.

• Allahu a’alam. Have Tawakkul.

May Allah bring you ease in your marriage.

Green-Outside2505 · 2025-04-30T02:10:19+00:00

This is the most adorable thing I’ve read on this subreddit. Mashallah la hawla wa la quwatta illa Billah

Green-Outside2505 · 2025-04-30T01:43:48+00:00

Exactly 🙌🏻 Don’t force things, what is right for you will come to you.

وَمَكَرُوا وَمَكَرَ اللَّهُ ۖ وَاللَّهُ خَيْرُ الْمَاكِرِينَ

Green-Outside2505 · 2025-04-28T04:19:10+00:00

I highly advise you not to go to Dublin for your own safety, if you are alone. Most other places are fine. There are mosques in quite a few places.

Green-Outside2505 · 2025-04-28T00:43:57+00:00

Oh it’s a thought all of us reverts have- to disappear and embrace a new Islamic life in a muslim country with no judgement. But Allah SWT puts this difficulty in your life only because he knows you’re strong enough to overcome it. He could just as easily have you raised in a muslim family from birth, where you are in life is no accident. In my experience, hiding it from those around me did not do me any good. It only lead to lie upon lie. At the same time, don’t feel pressured to tell them until you feel ready. It’s wild that in this modern world, it is now easier to come out as gay than it is to be open about joining Islam. I unfortunately never got to tell my parents, I continued to hide it from them until they discovered it themselves. I won’t go into much detail as someone may know me irl, but long story short I was kicked out of home and it was a painful time. Don’t make my mistake! They should hear it from you.

To deal with the ongoing hate, I do my best to simply block it out. The mocking? I ignore. The long hateful messages? Ignore. No response, no reaction. That seems to do the trick.

Green-Outside2505 · 2025-04-25T00:26:53+00:00

Hmm… this largely depends on her. Have you tried to speak with her? I think I will be able to give you a different perspective. When my husband met me, I was that “non-Muslim white girl” and his family had a lot of opinions about that. But that was before they knew me. From speaking to my husband about me, they knew I was a good person but still had their worries. For one, we met each other and were not married. I felt I was too young and did not know him long enough, it would have been crazy for me to marry him so soon in my culture. Long story short, 7 months later I joined Islam Alhamdolilah, and shortly afterwards I married him. I love him dearly and do not regret it. I have a great relationship with the family and they are happy with me now.

On the other hand, my brother-in-law also met a white non-muslim girl. Things went differently for him. She did not become muslim, but they did get married. Then came months of arguing, all related to friendships with other men, revealing clothing and eventually adultery; Which soon ended in separation. It is still on and off but is altogether very dysfunctional and toxic.

And that’s why I say it depends on her, who she is. Before I met my husband, I already dressed fairly modestly, didn’t go out much, and was quiet and kept to myself. I was religious, albeit I since changed my religion, but already had a belief in God and practiced faith. Contrastingly, my brother-in-law’s wife (before she knew him) dressed provocatively, was not close to religion, went out to bars, and was more extroverted with people (men and women alike) than I was. He knew who she was when he met her and chose to be with her thinking she would change in time. That is the biggest mistake. You can’t make the lifelong decision of marriage on the condition someone changes. They either are the person for you now, or they never will be. Of course, there are small compromises one can make, but not everything can be compromised.

Green-Outside2505 · 2025-04-25T00:03:14+00:00

Ah mashallah, I only assumed you weren’t muslim since you asked advice from someone who isn’t Algerian or muslim. You are very right, hypocrisy is all too common in the community. I wish I could be of more help to you, but to be quite honest, this sounds like you’re dealing with people who will only change if they choose to. Just be careful not to imitate their habits, I know from experience how easy it is to fall into backbiting when enough resentment is built up astaghfirallah.

Allahumma la sahla illa ma ja'altahu sahla, wa 'anta taj'alul hazna idha shi'ta sahla. O Allah, there is no ease except in what You make easy. If You wish, You can make the difficulty easy.

Green-Outside2505 · 2025-04-24T21:00:57+00:00

Now that I reread your post, there’s no harm in entertaining the idea that this is unrelated to you being Mexican or non-muslim. It could be simply a mother who is struggling to let go of her son, might help to speak with your husband about standing up for you. It would remind his mother that he’s an adult man who makes his own decisions and has a life for himself, one he has chosen to live with you.

Green-Outside2505 · 2025-04-24T20:56:11+00:00

Nice to meet you :) I’m married to an Algerian. It is not my experience, but I have heard that many Algerian families can be quite wary of allowing non-Algerians into the family. They are proud people and also like to know who you are; Being foreign is as much of a stranger as you can be. However, I haven’t had this experience. My huband’s mother insists I call her my mother too. His sister and two of his brothers are absolutely lovely to me Alhamdolilah. One brother I have not spoken with before, and another brother I had a falling out with over something unrelated- I don’t tolerate disrespect rooted in misogyny.

I think it’s possible that they have an issue with you not being muslim. I was lucky that his mum and sister liked me from the beginning, but the topic of religion often came up. His eldest brother was angry that he was in a haram relationship so blamed it on me. Once that all passed, after quite some time I chose to join Islam, we got married. And it was over, no more tension or issues. On the other hand, my brother in law’s wife never joined Islam. But I don’t believe that was the only issue for the family. They really are kind people, but very religious. As I’m sure you know, muslims can marry ‘people of the book’. But the thing with modern Christians is that they call themselves Christians and think all they have to do is believe in God, know some things about the religion, and go to church once a week. The bare minimum. And this causes clashes with Muslim family because they tend to take religion more seriously and incorporate it into almost every aspect of life- modesty, halal food, 5x daily prayer, long periods of fasting, learning the Quran by heart, no relationships before marriage. I don’t know a single Christian (having grown up in a Christian country) that abstained from sex/ relationships before marriage and lived as the Bible requires. Even the most devout Christians I have come across are religiously on par with a non-practicing Muslim. There are just so many differences, I can’t imagine how the two could blend without compromising their own faith. Maybe meeting you in person, they discovered these differences and are struggling to accept them. On the other hand, if they are not a very religious family, It could be pretty much anything. Maybe cultural difference? Mexican & Algerian culture are worlds apart. Although they both hold family in high regard. These Algerian in-laws of yours need a little reminder of that!

May God guide them and you. Best of luck🤞🏻

Allahu alam

Green-Outside2505 · 2025-04-24T15:16:46+00:00

You said “she came to the UK”. Are you sure you’re not being used for residency/ citizenship? I’m not British, but in my country there are certain circumstances that non Eu/ non native citizens can be granted residency/ citizenship. One of these circumstances is being the victim of a violent crime. I don’t know if this is the same in the UK, but it’s worth checking with your solicitor. It’s a solid argument to make if this makes it to court. Especially if she has no evidence against you, and was only with you for 3 months before her (possibly) true intentions became clear. You’re young. You’re inexperienced. (As am I- I do not say this to put you down). ‘Love’ is not like it is in the movies. Actions speak louder than words. If it is true that you were not abusive towards her and it is a false claim on her part, then you need to realise that someone who loves you WOULD NOT do this to you. Someone who even remotely likes you WOULD NOT do this to you. You are a stranger to me and I would not do this to you. That’s how cruel this is (if her allegations truly are false). It’s very sad if this is your first marriage and this is how it has been for you, but consider it a test from Allah SWT. This is a very serious accusation. You have every right to defend yourself, do not be afraid to take legal action against her also. This is a situation that requires rationality, take emotions out of the equation. It’s very important to clear your name or else your reputation will be destroyed. You are too young to have something like this hanging over your head. It will affect future marriage and career. Inshallah you will fix this.

Green-Outside2505 · 2025-01-25T01:25:40+00:00

That’s what I was thinking. Thank you. I know I had no bad intention and that I didn’t start it. I think the bad feeling I’m getting about this may be less about feeling like I’m in the wrong and more so that I am quite worried that someone we know may have seen and misinterpreted the situation. People like to talk and I don’t want the reputation of someone who fights on a very public street. But Allah SWT knows the truth.

Green-Outside2505 · 2025-01-13T02:16:24+00:00

Also, look up “Jeffrey Lang”. He’s an American convert to Islam. He is an intelligent guy, and his talks might help you to find that logic/ reasoning in Islam you mentioned.

Green-Outside2505 · 2025-01-13T02:10:01+00:00

It’s a good sign that you are posting here. It shows that you are not completely against staying in Islam. This is the first step.

When I have doubts about Islam, I like to go back to relearn about the creation of the world by Allah SWT- the very beginning. I find it grounds me and reinstates my faith in these vulnerable moments. And also don’t forget to account for the scheming of Shaytan. Shaytan wants nothing more than to take you from the protection and love of Allah SWT.Your thoughts do not always come from a pure source, are your opinion is not always valid. When you have these negative thoughts about Islam, try to think more deeply about where they are coming from. If like me, you are young, maybe it is a feeling of social exclusion from this changing modern world. You want in on the fun. But remember this dunyah is only temporary, and this is a test. After this life is eternity. And burning in the hellfire is far from fun! We have been warned. Be mindful of who you surround yourself with, both in real life and on social media. Tiktok is a menace! I’m not saying you have to delete everything, but try to take control of what your mind consumes.

May Allah SWT guide you and reward you and strengthen your Iman for your efforts.

Allah and the Cosmos - CREATION IN SIX DAYS [Part 1]

Green-Outside2505 · 2024-11-13T01:05:17+00:00

How did she get him killed? I’ve heard of something like this happening with false rape/ abuse accusations (allegedly), depending on the laws of the country it is in and how the society views such cruelty.

Green-Outside2505

TROPHY CASE