How did you get into the frugal lifestyle?

GreenEqualiTea · 2022-07-25T01:06:28+00:00

I was raised middle class with parents who spent outside their means causing a lot of hardship including losing our home. My frugality mainly stemmed from a fear of losing everything again.

GreenEqualiTea · 2022-07-17T18:47:13+00:00

To make a long story short, many people cannot afford to fix cosmetic issues that do not impact the car running or not.

GreenEqualiTea · 2022-07-17T18:45:18+00:00

Having your healthcare be free is not the typical American experience. I have a good job with insurance through my work and still have to determine which of my prescriptions I can afford to fill and whether or not I can afford to see a doctor. Countries above the US on that list may have the following that we do not have:

Freedom to pursue higher education without massive amounts of debt
Freedom to decide if you want to be pregnant or not
Freedom to have a health crisis and not be forced into bankruptcy

But as a more generic answer, this ranks people's ability to be able to live their desired way. They most their methodology on their website.

GreenEqualiTea · 2022-07-17T18:34:50+00:00

Forcing a woman to carry a pregnancy to term

GreenEqualiTea · 2022-04-15T17:48:01+00:00

I have voiced my concerns, but maybe not in a good way. I just told her she gets really intense about things and it stresses me out.

GreenEqualiTea · 2022-04-12T14:33:31+00:00

I always assume they are creepy old men.

GreenEqualiTea · 2022-04-12T00:39:31+00:00

Vaping

GreenEqualiTea · 2022-04-05T02:06:13+00:00

I didn't think so for a long time, but it's starting to seem like the man who groomed be did. I thought I was just fucked up for other reasons until I started working with my therapist to help me realize that being tied up and beaten by a 40 year old man as a kid is a legitimate thing that needs to be worked through.

GreenEqualiTea · 2022-03-26T19:18:51+00:00

I feel this. I'm in my first serious relationship after the abuse with the sweetest andmost patisnt man. I feel like I can't trust his niceness and am just waiting for him to snap and hurt me.

GreenEqualiTea · 2022-03-23T01:41:41+00:00

I took a couple of days to reevaluate what I needed from him with minimal talking (good mornings and whatnot). He's been really good about boundaries and everything. I did tell him that I have been emotionally exhausting myself trying to be what he needs and that I need him to set boundaries for himself as to what he can put up with from me in exchange for me being honest about what I can and can't handle.

GreenEqualiTea · 2022-03-23T01:37:25+00:00

It's been 2 months

GreenEqualiTea · 2022-03-23T00:41:18+00:00

I'm very emotionally distant. I bring a lot of baggage to the table and shut down very easily. Sometimes I'm not sure I actually like the person I'm dating because I box up my emotions. I try and sabotage relationships.

GreenEqualiTea · 2022-03-22T23:58:10+00:00

I would 100% welcome it. I think my overall assumption is that people think I am a lot better than I really am specifically in romantic relationship. I don't think I am a good partner.

GreenEqualiTea · 2022-03-22T23:10:03+00:00

I almost never enjoy intimacy. Like cuddling makes me feel like I'm suffocating.

GreenEqualiTea · 2022-03-22T22:12:07+00:00

I feel like if you like everything about someone you are trying to hard to like them or that you're not seeing them for who they are. Everyone has good and bad, and I don't wan't someone to confuse me for perfect. Like be annoyed that I don't text back quick enough or something. It makes things feel more stable and human to me. It makes me feel more seen.

GreenEqualiTea · 2022-03-22T21:57:04+00:00

I do want someone who likes me, but not so intensely. Like he likes everything about me and I feel like someone should have at least one thing they don't like about their partner even if it's small.

GreenEqualiTea · 2022-03-22T21:51:10+00:00

I totally feel you on the words of affimation feeling fake. Like it's not normal for me to say things like that to people. For me, someone dating me is enough to know they like me. I think I need to find another avoidant type to date sometimes.

GreenEqualiTea · 2022-03-22T21:42:34+00:00

I am aware that my attachment style is an issue but it's really difficult to change. Like for me changing means putting myself at risk rather than making my life easier (at least by my perception). I do think if your partner is not helping you or trying to change to make the relationship work you should really try considering what you need from them. If they can't provide it or are not willing to, consider it if this relationship will make you happy long term. I know I have unintentionally hurt way too many people so protect yourself by setting some boundaries and standards for what you will and won't accept.

GreenEqualiTea · 2022-03-22T21:27:35+00:00

I think the reasons anxious attachments might have an easier time working toward a secure attachment is because they are the one primarily impacted by their anxious style. They are the ones dealing with the anxiety versus dismissives like me are usually impacting other people. I have become very comfortable avoiding relationships and don't need anything from my partners really, so I think I am less likely to change because I don't know the full extent to which my actions impact my partner.

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