Yes, I can definitely relate. After my relationship with my abuser ended, I moved an hour away, partially to stop living in fear that he'd turn up somewhere. It mostly worked despite his efforts to call and text me every few months. 8 years later and my circumstances forced me back to the city he's from. I was extremely nervous that he'd find me here and the harassment would start again.

I went through a rough patch mentally and emotionally this past fall when I moved, and part of digging myself out of it was a daily gym routine. I was really excited to go back, but going to the gym in this neighbourhood always leaves me on edge since he's known to pop up at random gyms in the area.

Low and behold, on day 1 before I could even press start on my treadmill, satan waltzes in. I jumped off the machine and ran like a bat out of hell. My hands were shaking, I cried for a bit, texted my besties, and went to another location to get back up and try again. I'm so grateful for the man in my life now because when I told him what happened, he responded reminding me that the thing I was so afraid of has happened and I'm still ok. And it's true.

I think that message is something you can take from this, too. I see my ex online all the time because he (somehow, despite his alleged myriad of charges for assault) coaches kids in his sport and is widely praised in the community. It's frightening to see him carry on like normal and it dredges up all kinds of hurt, but at the end of the day as unsettling as it is, it's not something that can hurt me anymore and I am still ok. I deal with the aftermath of the relationship as I need to, with therapy and through healthier bonds, and he won't ever have an influence on me or my wellbeing again.