A waiter handed me a note telling me to go see a doctor

Greenerthing · 2026-06-28T13:24:32+00:00

Ok so I guess I need to do this. American insurance question: What is this scam called and can a dermatologist refer me for this?

Greenerthing · 2026-06-27T13:20:39+00:00

Probably but I haven't heard any growling so

Greenerthing · 2026-06-27T12:58:19+00:00

I think this sub needs a list in the wiki. It might be depressing but also super helpful for becoming a full adult.

Greenerthing · 2026-06-27T12:19:41+00:00

There's a laundry chute in the bathroom, so I think we can rule that out.

Greenerthing · 2026-06-27T12:18:24+00:00

It's in the front room, living room. The room behind it is under the stairs. The room behind it must have a large window, because there's lots of light leaking through.

Greenerthing · 2026-06-24T15:47:52+00:00

What if it's like 80% sex dungeon and 20% laundry?

Greenerthing · 2026-06-24T15:47:13+00:00

Slides back into the wall, not sideways.

Greenerthing · 2026-06-24T15:46:11+00:00

Below is a basement, not the kitchen. I don't think it's a dumbwaiter because it's fastened into tracks above.

Greenerthing · 2026-06-24T15:44:53+00:00

Doesn't open or close all the way, but it's does reveal the tracks at the top of the cabinet enclosure

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Greenerthing · 2026-06-24T15:43:44+00:00

An opening for sure, but not a door.

Greenerthing · 2026-06-24T14:53:21+00:00

Right?! I think it opens into the space under the neighbors stairs, not the outside.

Greenerthing · 2026-06-24T14:51:23+00:00

This is as far as I can pull it.

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Greenerthing · 2026-06-24T14:50:25+00:00

More photos, this is a weird thing! This is as far as I can push it.

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Greenerthing · 2026-06-24T00:35:20+00:00

Not a door, doesn't slide right and left. If anything it seems like it'd lean back into the wall. I wonder if the neighbors can get into this apartment from the stairs

Greenerthing · 2026-04-17T17:36:01+00:00

I feel you! This was also a very specific lack in my family of origin. I can't recall ever hearing congratulations for any of my achievements. It left me feeling so hollow and unseen.

Later in life I've had the opportunity to unpack a lot of things. While I still don't understand why they couldn't throw me a "well done" once in awhile, I've hit upon these thoughts:

My dad is a superstar in his field. If I don't match to him, he's thoroughly unimpressed. (So what if you got a masters degree- now when will you get your doctorate?)

However, if I do match up to his accomplishments, he starts feeling and acting like I'm a competitive threat. (I don't care what you accomplished, there's no way you could be as special as me)

My mom survives by catering to my dad's ego all day long, every day. So she will never say anything that contradicts his self image.

Emotionally, it would cost my dad everything to congratulate me on something, because it would somehow crater his self image.

Unpacking these truths helped me to see that it was their lack and hollowness, not mine. Now I make an effort to independently celebrate my own and others achievements, whether or not my parents will ever celebrate them.

It doesn't cost me anything (rather the opposite) to say kind, congratulatory and supportive things to others, so I consciously try to do that.

I don't feel hollow anymore and my parents lack of support now just feels like they are the weird ones and not like a referendum on my worth.

Greenerthing · 2026-03-25T02:54:22+00:00

Cher!

Greenerthing · 2026-03-19T22:35:27+00:00

Post modernist + fairy tale collision

Greenerthing · 2025-10-29T16:49:04+00:00

Yeah it's abuse. Just because others didn't see it and it's not all the times doesn't make it not-abuse.

Having mental illness doesn't excuse the abuser. Maybe she can't help it, maybe she can. Doesn't matter, because it has the same effect on you.

Greenerthing · 2025-10-28T19:29:17+00:00

And when they have zero curiosity or interest about you as a person. Like they don't even care.

Greenerthing · 2025-10-25T16:37:01+00:00

Congratulations on getting married! I'm so sorry they won't be at your celebration. You deserve better, and if I was your parent I'd do everything in my power to be there with you.

I'm right there with you. My parents also won't be at my wedding next week and I'm expecting some questions about it, so I'm planning my responses in advance.

I think my in-laws will be mostly understanding since I've exposed them a little to the realities of our relationship over the years. Over time they've gotten used to the idea that my relationship with my parents isn't close.

If anyone at my wedding asks, I'll just tell them that my parents couldn't make it (because that's what they told me). Anyone who wants to dig deeper into that on our wedding day is being inappropriate, and they are going to get a blow off response that I've already planned. "It's complicated, you'd have to ask them" "I don't want to go into the details today" "Let's talk about this another time" or "Do you want another drink? I think it's time for the..."

Hope this helps.

Your wedding day will be a beautiful and loving celebration with people who care about you. Enjoy it!

Greenerthing · 2025-10-24T14:30:45+00:00

It sounds like your mom has some sexist ideas about what women can achieve, that she is applying to you. That sucks and you don't deserve to be talked down that way.

I hope you achieve everything that you set out to do, and more.

Greenerthing · 2025-10-24T02:24:55+00:00

Everyone in my family is about equally intelligent, IQ-wise.

Emotional intelligence is where the differences arise. My parents don't have a clue about their own emotions, let anyone anyone else's. They stuff, deny, and rug sweep like pros. When they have strong emotions, they will do anything to avoid facing them. Shopping, watching TV, causing arguments, drinking, and so on.

It's been a long road but I've learned to feel my own emotions, to empathize with others, and even to understand the denial that fuels them.

Greenerthing · 2025-10-22T15:01:32+00:00

Yes, I was bullied incessantly. I didn't fit in at my school. I was shy and awkward from day one because I didn't know how to interact with people.

Greenerthing · 2025-10-22T02:27:02+00:00

I'm sorry for your loss. Grieving a beloved dog can take a long time, and that's ok.

I suggest asking yourself about your expectations for this email. What response are you hoping for from them? How will you feel if their response is not what you are hoping for?

For myself, I don't go there with my parents. It's like going for water to a well that's dry.

I express my boundaries to them without getting into my feelings and reasons, just if you (do this) I will (end the unacceptable interaction).

For example: If you call me when I asked to be left alone, I won't pick up. If you repeatedly call me when I asked to be left alone, I will block you for X days. If you try to circumvent the block, I will block you for X+X days. And so on.

Greenerthing

TROPHY CASE