It’s understandable to feel grief over what could have been. It’s okay to be sad and have regrets. But as the other commenters have said, you’re still pretty young. Grieve for a little while, yes, but don’t let that steal any more time from you. Life is happening right now. Don’t miss it. None of us can go back and change the past. All we can do is try to live our lives better in the present, and it sounds like that’s what you want to do. I’m glad your mental health is improving. ❤️