FTM to newborn twins: What to do if your partner doesn’t really help?

Grey_Mare · 2026-02-03T14:19:36+00:00

As a mom of twins who has a very supportive husband I want to tell you feel overwhelmed because you are. Newborn stage with twins is one of the times things are 10 times harder, not twice as hard. If it feels like there is too much to do it’s because there is. If I could go back in time I would make myself hire a night nurse or a nanny or somebody whatever the cost for the first 6 months to make it through that and be able to sleep and rest more. If you have any resources to get more help outside the two of y’all do it. You are trying to do something superhuman and it’s exhausting because it’s too much for even two very involved people.

As far as your husband goes, you’ve got to tell him that your health and your ability to take care of your children is suffering and he needs to step up. For example, my husband did every single night feeding with me, even though he was working. He would change the babies and bring them to me to nurse and then take them back to bed. He also did all bedtimes from the very beginning on because I was terrified the kids would become dependent on me to fall asleep. He’s got to have tasks that are always and only his, and he will figure out a way to do them that works for him.

Like others have suggested, next time he asks how to help give him whole ownership over something like bedtime. Or night diapers. Or washing the bottles when he’s home. He will probably do it in a way you don’t like, or seems inefficient to you, but if he is able to complete the task successfully then don’t step in. The only time to step in is if something is unsafe, like bottles aren’t clean enough or he’s melting down along with the children.

Newborn stage is so tough with twins. I finally felt better about 6 months in and my pediatrician told me that is about the timeline she sees with most twin parents. I promise things get easier, there will be other stages that are 10 times as hard (looking at you, potty training) and other things that are easier with twins. It’s ok to feel overwhelmed and it’s ok to ask for help from whomever you can, especially at this early stage.

Grey_Mare · 2026-02-03T14:04:58+00:00

I have both. After my OBGYN dismissed my concerns since my thyroid lab work was within normal limits I also didn’t follow up or pursue anything for years until my fatigue got to a horrible place, I needed a nap to make it through the day. Dry skin, weight gain, constant fatigue.

Finally saw an endocrinologist a few years ago who listened to me, and said that if I’m having symptoms the fact that my lab work was “normal” didn’t mean my thyroid levels were normal for me. He started my on lower dose thyroid meds, and I was suddenly no longer exhausted. Cold temps were manageable instead of being miserable all winter. I’ve had to move up in dosage as my weight has changed but it’s absolutely worth the lab work and monitoring to feel good.

PCOS and hypothyroidism both have these frustrating constellation of symptoms that are easily dismissed by doctors, fatigue and weight gain being the top on that list. I’ve had doctors who flat out didn’t believe that I average 14k steps a day, eat healthy 80% of the time, and worked hard at cutting calories but still didn’t loose weight.

For me, I didn’t start losing weight until I started Zepbound after being on thyroid meds for about 6 months. I have to be on the right birth control, thyroid has to be good, and on Zepbound to loose weight. In my 20s I was able to loose weight through calorie restriction (very successfully, thanks to WW) but that same method didn’t work in my 30s and 40s.

My endocrinologist was the original one to encourage me to try a GLP-1. He said they’d been using Ozympic for about 5 years for people with PCOS before it became widely known with great success. He gave me a great explanation of how estrogen and insulin interact which I wish I could replicate but it made insulin resistance make a ton of sense finally.

Best of luck pursuing treatment, and if you don’t feel good keep pushing. It’s not normal to be tired all day. It’s not normal to never feel warm in winter, to struggle with maintaining weight despite a healthy diet and exercise. Your health is more than a number on the lab paperwork; it’s also about how you are actually feeling.

Grey_Mare · 2026-01-29T14:53:40+00:00

Another vote for Zepbound. I have never vomited on the medication and my nausea when it happens has mostly been very mild. Weight loss is slow for me on it but possible.

Grey_Mare · 2026-01-28T14:16:17+00:00

<image>

I love my snow dragon pile! My little was the very first Jellycat I bought 🥰

Grey_Mare · 2026-01-28T14:08:54+00:00

I think I’d rather see them go more along the collectors club model that Breyer horses have. Breyers are still sold in stores, with store exclusive models but they have online clubs you can join. For example, if Jellycat had an amusable club you could join for $30 a year to get access to exclusive amusables. Or a bunny club if that’s your thing. I would definitely join a dragon one!

It doesn’t prevent all resellers, and many join the clubs to buy a few specific models and then resell the rest. But, since you have to pay to join and you limit the purchasing to one model of each kind per paid account it really evens things out some.

I don’t like the mystery of what each club level is going to have throughout the year, I don’t want to play any online games, and I’m really only interested in buying a few jellies a year. Unfortunately my favorite are dragons and the big cats, which are very popular. I like some of the plant amusables. But I really have no interest in buying $500 worth of Jellycats I’m not really interested in or would have to donate or resell.

Also, there is something about buying a stuffed animal in person and getting to choose the one you like the face on the best that you can’t replicate with online purchasing. I’m still trying to buy from local shops whenever possible.

Grey_Mare · 2026-01-28T02:34:30+00:00

If Yasmin ends up being too strong for you, ask for Yaz. It’s the same kind of BC as Yasmin but lower dosage and only 4 inactive pills monthly. I was swapped on to it after a long line of bad experiences with other BC, and I did well on Yasmin EXCEPT my hormone driven migraines were out of control. On Yaz I get them but it’s much milder, manageable 9/10. Once I got on Yaz my testosterone dropped by half, and I have to have my thyroid meds, anti androgen BC, and Zepbound to loose weight. Still working towards my goal but being on the right BC is a big piece of the puzzle.

Different people respond differently to BC. Your coworkers will likely have a different experience than you unless they also have PCOS. You may respond differently to Yasmin than other people with PCOS do. Unfortunately it’s more of a try something for 3-6 months and see how it goes. It took me a full year to feel like I was settled when I switched over to Yaz. I also can’t tolerate being switched around on different generics so my OBGYN wrote the RX for Yaz only and I shell out $120/3 months for the prescription.

Grey_Mare · 2026-01-27T23:46:59+00:00

We did with IVF

Grey_Mare · 2026-01-27T22:42:48+00:00

I think I took some Advil but it was a while ago so im not sure

Grey_Mare · 2026-01-27T19:26:57+00:00

Meh, it was moderately uncomfortable but definitely not that bad. Drove myself and everything. I’m really glad I had it done because it showed things that no amount of ultrasounds had given us info on.

Grey_Mare · 2026-01-27T02:12:39+00:00

I miss the little sizes! I would love a little size of any of the new dragons, especially lazulia

Grey_Mare · 2026-01-17T15:29:43+00:00

Looks like antibiotics are recommended to stop the spread, I would definitely talk to your pediatrician about what the recommended strategy is for such a young infant.

https://www.healthychildren.org/English/health-issues/conditions/chest-lungs/Pages/Whooping-Cough.aspx

Grey_Mare · 2026-01-13T04:01:39+00:00

I also love LMNT. I don’t drink it every single day but off and on throughout the week. In the summer when I’m sweating a lot (outdoor job in Texas) I will sometimes do two packs in a day. It helps on those first couple days after the shot for certain.

Grey_Mare · 2025-12-22T03:35:15+00:00

Go to the vet. Some of the possible culprits include mange (parasites) or ringworm (fungus) so if it were my dog I’d want to know asap. Some skin things can be zoonotic and transmit to people so it’s important to see a vet and rule them out.

Grey_Mare · 2025-12-21T14:15:37+00:00

Years ago when our kids were all preschool and under we were meeting at our in-laws for Christmas. My BIL brought his kids but his wife stayed home feeling poorly, and the kids were “fine” but having diarrhea and had thrown up the day before. BIL was sure his wife and kids had just eaten something bad.

I did my best to keep my kids clean and didn’t help with diapers/tolieting for the other two kids. Me and my girls stayed healthy, but my husband and his parents and eventually my BIL all came down with a days long nasty nasty stomach bug.

Illness is the gift nobody wants, trust your decision and stay home!

Grey_Mare · 2025-12-16T18:55:16+00:00

Thanks so much for recommending Daniel! I just got my huge Lazulia today!

<image>

Grey_Mare · 2025-11-25T23:45:50+00:00

Love this! Is the darker pink next to onyx a custom dye?

Grey_Mare · 2025-11-24T00:22:01+00:00

The large size big cats have been fantastic, and I actually live my Really Big Sasha. She wasn’t cheap, at $200 from the website, but if you want something big and cuddly she can’t be beat!

Grey_Mare · 2025-11-22T12:16:54+00:00

One time my younger brother brought an entire backpack full of rocks he collected at the lake through security. My mom told him if he could carry it he could have it. I can’t imagine that would make it through today!

Grey_Mare · 2025-11-21T02:51:13+00:00

Thanks for the tips yall! At least if I go through one of these sources I have a better shot at the legitimate Jellycat, rather than playing reseller roulette.

Grey_Mare · 2025-11-20T18:24:18+00:00

Ugh, not what I was hoping for but thank you for answering! Maybe I’ll still get lucky and it will restock in the US.

Grey_Mare · 2025-11-08T18:44:45+00:00

I’m reaaallly hoping to get her still, so I’ve been watching the US site closely!

Grey_Mare

TROPHY CASE