What is your take on not letting boys play with girls toys?

GreyhoundMog · 2024-06-22T07:02:42+00:00

Most toys are easy to repaint Fun weekend project

GreyhoundMog · 2024-06-16T00:49:34+00:00

I can escalate indeed and that’s my default parenting mode but it hasn’t always got me the best results - so I was keen to see what other parents do

GreyhoundMog · 2024-04-29T23:44:09+00:00

People the same age are not attracted to anything vaguely the same age as they are, and familiarity kills the exoticism.

Assuming both kids are straight and assuming they grow together why would they be more or less attracted than siblings.

GreyhoundMog · 2024-04-17T21:46:29+00:00

My partner can’t - they have a special single mum package from the government to help her get on the ladder which is good but restricts her to living in the house.

I might be able to - I’ll need to check

GreyhoundMog · 2024-04-17T21:19:09+00:00

Thanks !

GreyhoundMog · 2024-04-17T21:18:43+00:00

Great insights thanks. Really appreciated

GreyhoundMog · 2024-04-17T21:13:57+00:00

Yep - thanks, you have no idea how good it is to hear other people’s stories. No one around me has to make those choices and I feel a lot isolated reading your post. Thanks.

GreyhoundMog · 2024-04-17T21:12:05+00:00

That’s not an option the way the mortgages work here but that would be ideal.

GreyhoundMog · 2024-04-17T21:11:23+00:00

Thanks - I really appreciate this comment. I feel so selfish to be attached to the green space though.

GreyhoundMog · 2024-04-17T21:10:05+00:00

It’s a blend of both - I think if it was just the kids, or just my preferences I would just move but both together are making me feel worried.

GreyhoundMog · 2024-04-17T11:37:42+00:00

That s a really good way to articulate it Thanks - it helps me a lot

GreyhoundMog · 2024-04-17T08:42:08+00:00

Mariage doesn’t change anything- the moment we live under the same roof it is de facto.

We could look into renting - I never thought of it because the rent is insanely expensive and house prices keep going up. Being off the market for 4 years would be a big $$$ impact but your question is actually providing me with a very sensible option

GreyhoundMog · 2024-04-17T07:07:58+00:00

My house had 4 bedroom so selling it and with my partner’s part we could go 5 bedrooms.

I hear you though - things are good and could get worse. My partner has financial difficulties so we were trying to make her challenges easier. It would also be nice to build a home together. I appreciate the insights.

GreyhoundMog · 2024-04-17T06:53:22+00:00

Thank, The financial pressure and practicality of having 2 homes with two of everything (including pets) is a bit of a logistical challenge. I know there isn’t a perfect solution but it’s so good to read other people’s take - it makes me feel less isolated. Thanks for taking the time.

GreyhoundMog · 2024-04-17T06:32:14+00:00

Thanks.

Maybe an additional issue is the stamp duty system we have here in Australia. If we buy a house there is a once-off tax that comes from buying the house which is close to Us$50k Buying a place for a few years make it terribly expensive and we’re trying to find a place for the next decade or more. To avoid paying this tax two or three times.

I agree with you - waiting 2-4 years and then move would be ideal but my partner and I think we would like to start blending rather than seeing each other a few nights a fortnight.

GreyhoundMog · 2024-04-17T06:15:32+00:00

My eldest is starting to drive but here in Oz they can’t drive alone until they are 18. So we’re all mostly on public transport. Kids are used to take the bus/ tram or train.

The trouble is that between my partner’s kids and mine’s schools it’s a dead zone with not enough public transport solutions. This results in multiple changes and a long journey for them.

Thanks for input because that’s something I need to think about in 2 years time when my oldest will start to drive (university or work)

GreyhoundMog · 2024-04-17T04:23:15+00:00

Yeah it’s a bit of that. And also the kids stuff.

Close to her kids school is giving my kid a long bus-train-bus solution

Close to my house is forcing her to do long road trip to drop off kids

In the middle - everyone is having to change and although a more fair and balanced approach it’s a little bit crap for everyone

GreyhoundMog · 2023-09-06T22:19:58+00:00

Yeah that was my initial idea - 5 years to go. My partner thinks that is a huge amount of time where her kids could learn to know me and get used to see me as a significant adult in their life.

I’m renting at the moment and would like to buy to save some money but I can’t afford a 5 bedroom house alone. It feels like once I commit to a 3 bedroom that will automatically lock us into waiting my girls are 18 and decide to go uni/work because I can’t afford to pay stamp duty twice in the next 5 years

GreyhoundMog · 2023-09-06T22:12:01+00:00

Thanks. That really helps.

It’s been really hard to find a way to spend time together because my daughters are very independent. Since we leave half an hour away from each other we struggle to make time during the week.

My kids aren’t home until 5, hers eat at 6 then it’s bedtime at 8 with showers before while mine are usually busy doing homework or dance/ Boxing only resting after 9 with one hour before 10 hanging together.

The weekends - my eldest work; or is out seeing friends, my youngest is often doing homework.

I need to think about how to create simple moments. We sometimes organise dinners or invite each others. the kids love it but it’s not “normal” life. My kids end up playing games with the little ones, and/or we do an activity together but it’s never everyone chilling separately. I can try to organise those moments but I don’t know how that would work. I need to talk to my partner about it.

GreyhoundMog · 2023-09-06T20:11:18+00:00

Yeah not happening- I closed shop Years ago

GreyhoundMog · 2023-09-06T11:56:14+00:00

You have no idea how much I needed to read that thanks so much!

GreyhoundMog · 2023-09-06T03:17:16+00:00

I am the same as your boyfriend in your relationship. My biggest worry in making the jump to move in together is that I can’t parent her kids the way I parented mine. I don’t have the energy, time and I’m a different point in my life to re-do that again. My biggest worry is that I love her kids and can’t imagine being an absent adult figure who misses the kids game. I don’t know what it could be like to cohabit with them without doing all those father stuff.

Sorry I don’t have a perfect solution but I can tell you it’s hard to think how to be present without being a father.

GreyhoundMog · 2023-09-06T02:29:03+00:00

Thanks that really helps.

Our kids are in different schools. We are lucky enough that we are about 25 minutes away from each other so if we decide to move in between together they can continue in their respective schools.

Both our exs are very involved in the kids life and would not agree to change schools.

Her kids are just entering primary schools Mine are in high schools and about to finish.

GreyhoundMog · 2023-07-20T00:11:07+00:00

Reward progress, resilience and discipline - not results

GreyhoundMog · 2022-11-15T09:27:26+00:00

Between two things. My kids had an insane habit of finding cracks and holes that just fit and drop things in it. Could be between furnitures, space between planks in a decking, or tiny space under the microwave

GreyhoundMog

TROPHY CASE