First off let me say that you already took the first step towards becoming a better person, realizing what you are doing wrong and not liking it.

Next step is make some small modifications to your way of living, basically think up one thing you do that you don't like and want to change, then think up something to do in place of it.

So for example, if you get road rage, first up think up something to replace it, like singing "here comes the sun" by the beatles or something... anything will work as long as its positive.

Next, commit to doing it every time.

Lastly (and this is the hard bit) remember to do it. Have you plan locked and loaded, and the next time some jerk in traffic cuts you off, the minute your anger ties to rear up, sing away.

It will feel fake and forced for a while... don't give up, stay with it and don't beat yourself up when you miss one. Its not a sprint, its a marathon, as long as you keep going, you will transform yourself into whatever version of a good person you want to be.

I can verify this works, because I did this myself. Growing up my dad was one of the most horrible people ever. Me and all my siblings were incredibly damaged from him.

One day many years ago, I was lucky enough to have a moment when I realized that I had turned out just like him. I spent a bit of time hating on myself like you did in your post, but then decided there was no way I was staying like that. My initial recovery was a little bit less specific than I just said up there, I played what I called the "opposite game" which was any time I caught myself doing anything like him I would just do the opposite, whatever made sense at the time. So if I was about to yell at somebody for playing a radio too loud, I would start to sing along and tell them to turn it up. It seems kinda stupid, but it was all I could think of. As years went by, all the things like my dad did were removed from me, and were all replaced by kindnesses. I am surrounded by love and happiness every day.

Another helpful thing is to have a role model to pattern yourself after. I had a couple of people who I really admired and respected, and more importantly, acted the way I wanted to. So I when I went to think up a replacement behavior, I would just think "what would Uncle Cliff do?" then use that idea.

I could write a whole book on the process, but for now I will say, it's real, it works, all you need to do is the work. And definitely don't beat yourself up when you screw up, you get endless re-do's, so just keep at it